Q - If you & your DH go out in the car together, who drives?

[SuperMumNot]

a) DH
b) you
c) depends whose car you're in
d) DH, unless he's had a drink or two
e) varies - you alternate/whoever feels like it etc

Please just indulge me with an answer - I'll explain why a bit later

Usually me for long journeys, for short journeys either of us and DH if I'm drunk again

That would result in an invitation to get out and walk or take public transport - that's about belittling / criticising not about a 'role' in a partnership.

Generally, dh tends to drive when we are together in the car as we only usually tend to be together in the car on longer journeys, and I cam able to switch off and relax - sometimes I knit, sometimes I sleep, whereas he isn't and tends to "drive" the whole journey whoever is behind the wheel, so it makes sense for us.

Long journeys, dp because he has a back problem that is made worse by sitting but the constant slight movements you do when driving make it not quite as bad. Short journeys- the person who gets their key out first- about 50:50.

It's me. I have been a passenger when H was driving twice, both short journeys.

D here mostly and I am the one who drinks usually.
If we take my car I'll often drive there and he'll drive back, he only lets me drive mine if I get there first or argue about it he has decided that I can't drive his car, so after 30 years I gave given up. He is not a better driver than me in fact his driving is terrifying, he likes to pick holes in my driving but I just ignore him. Yes he does have some redeeming points.

Like OP I used to drive for work and then I alwYs had the flashy car and the family car. 8 years ago we switched and he got the 7 seater and I got to have a fun car.

DH. But it's a moot point, as its not actually legal for me to drive here.
I've been told I will be doing all the driving when we go back to the UK for the summer. I will accept most, but he is driving round central London - where he learnt to drive. That isn't on my prepared to do list.

DH. Always. He is a shit passenger.

Currently we can both drive my car. I can't drive his - tried once and totally buggered the clutch. He automatically gets in the driving seat of mine.

Me, more often than not. If we go on holiday in the car, he usually starts, but we share. In that case, he'd usually do a bit more than half.

Hold on why did you include d) DH, unless he's had a drink or two without f) me, unless I've had a drink or two which is what happens in our house.

I think default can be male. I pick DH up from work sometimes and I see other partners do it. I have seen women getting out to swap so their DH can drive but never the other way around.

When DH and I met, he always assumed he should drive. I soon disabused him of that idea and now it's me 90% of the time. His DF always drives even though he is a distracted, aggressive, scary driver who will never drive a car with my child in it while I am alive!

Claim your car back. And just tell him not to offer a commentary. Ever. And pull him up if he does.

I ferry the dc around all week so at the weekend I like to sit in the passenger seat while dh drives.

BackforGood - Yes - DH does this too: "tends to "drive" the whole journey whoever is behind the wheel"

I do feel that as we've got older I've let us slip into some domestic roles and habits that I'm not entirely happy about. I need to claw back some of the control!

E. Depends on all sorts of things but probably works out abor 50/50 overall. I have been letting DH drive for the last month or so because we have a new car which we both like but which I get to drive all week whilst he's at work!
I would be irritated if I were you OP, and I think you would be perfectly entitled to insist that you drive your car if you want to. Nicely at first, in case he hasn't really thought about what he's doing, but if he carries on I would get really cross.

Him. Always, unless he's feeling ill. I drive about 400 miles a week anyway so don't tend to object too much!

And buy an air horn. Parp him every time he criticizes.

Me - OH has degenerative neurological condition and has no licence.

I always drive, because I don't like his driving despite him having had a licence for more than 25 years. I think he over revs the engine and he's too slow for my liking.

If I want to drink then he gets nominated to drive home and I have to grit my teeth.

B) My DH doesn't have a driving licence, so it's always me.

Oh, my DH does this - about once a year. Usually when I am already reacting to whatever he has just pointed out. Then I bite his head off and he shuts up for another year.

He could learn to drive, if he wanted to. He doesn't. So he has to not comment on my driving.

I always drive ( unless I'm sick ) because I like driving ,I'm a better driver than he is and if the children are with us they moan about his driving so I've always ended up doing it . I also have the 'better' car . I'm a SAHM and he walks to work usually ,but I drive everyday whereas he only drives a few times a week .

"And buy an air horn. Parp him every time he criticizes."

Oh yes! He'd just love this!

I can't tell you the glee I had to hide when DH got pulled over for speeding a couple of years ago and had to then attend a 'Speed Awareness Course' to avoid points.
And then when I pointed out that it made sense for me to be the lead driver on the new car as I had an 'exemplary' record .

Incidentally - that's another thing - car insurance. We had a few years when there was lots going on for me - kids/ elderly parents etc - and DH took over renewing the car insurances. It turned out later that they were both now in HIS name as the primary driver and that as a result I had lost all my previous No Claims Discount! I genuinely don't think it was deliberate on his part, and we've now changed one into my name again, but I was livid at the time!

Oh god - OH every time.
I find driving very boring.
I far prefer being a passenger, I can watch the scenery, text, phone, sort out my pockets. Bliss.

Usually me. He drives for work. Also his driving gives me travel sickness.

DH, always. I've known him 18 years and driven him once, when he was hungover.

He doesn't drink much and would rather not drink at all and drive home. We live in the countryside, so I play this to my advNtage.

Almost always dh and usually in his car though, like you we have similar 4WDs. I am a naturally more cautious driver than he is and oddly enough have had far fewer scrapes and dents.

Last week his train was cancelled and he phoned to ask me to pick him up and drive him to another station where he'd be able to get a train more quickly. Then proceeded to give me instructions at every junction etc. I told him straight that I was doing him a favour and he could chose to shut up or walk.

He shut up. This back seat driving definitely seems to be a rude man thing.