Q - If you & your DH go out in the car together, who drives?

[SuperMumNot]

a) DH
b) you
c) depends whose car you're in
d) DH, unless he's had a drink or two
e) varies - you alternate/whoever feels like it etc

Please just indulge me with an answer - I'll explain why a bit later

D here

Mostly DH, we usually go in his car so he just drives, I find driving really boring too whereas he quite likes it.
We split any long journeys though, but he gets nervous when I'm driving his car

Really interesting question OP - from observation it looks overwhelmingly like the male tends to drive and the female is a passenger especially in couples middle-aged and older. I hate being driven so I normally drive.

With stbxh I always drove. He was a shit driver. I love driving so was quite happy to. ~I do find it weird that in the majority of couples the man always gets in the drivers side regardless.

E)

E) we swop cars and whoever fancies driving, drives.

He does mostly, just because he prefers to drive and I prefer not to. We mostly go in his car for that reason, but if we do take my car then I drive....I don't like him driving my little car!

Forgot to say - partly because I drive a big car which is a lot of fun and his is a tiny feeble thing!

Husband always. He makes up some pishy excuse about getting car sick if he don't drive , I can't be arsed arguing with him about it so leave him to it

I hate driving anyway unless I have too

Usually DH in our car, conversely when we go abroad I usually never put him on the rental car, just me. I want to have the freedom to pop to the shops (he will not drive me to go shopping unless it's a necessity) and I don't mind doing all the driving for ten days or so. And I'm too tight to pay another £10 a day for a second driver! I did drive 1000kms across Ireland last week visiting our families but I actually found it was nice and restful, nice new motorways with great views and no traffic. Back in busy London traffic DH can do all the driving!

OK, here's why I ask...

I've been driving as long as DH. We are both competent drivers and have, in the past, had 'big' company cars.

Over the last 10 years I've stopped working /went freelance/ had kids etc and we ended up buying cars. Somehow we ended up with 'his' car - big 4WD BMW and 'my car' - small, old 'runaround'. He didn't like me driving the big car after I clipped the mirror and damaged it once, so if we went out together it was always in 'his' car and he drove.

My 'little' car was dying, so we've recently replaced it with a new one - a Nissan Qashqai - which I love. Thing is, DH also likes driving it and when we go out together he just automatically gets in the driver's seat.

It's not a big deal, but I just feel somehow belittled and I don't like it!
When I drive he does a lot of commentary - 'be careful', 'watch out for that', 'that was a bit close' etc

A decade ago I was commuting 110 miles a day, so I don't know how I've ended up being treated as if I'm some sort of newbie driver!!

Whenever he drives, give a running commentary on what he does...

Probably e

It always used to be me as I used to get car sick but seem to be growing out of it again. Long journeys we share, short journeys it depends on who gets into which seat first!

Ah missed your post. That would be irritating!

Until 2 years ago we had 2 big 7 seaters, we replaced one with a fiesta. We have noticed that by default I get the better spec'ed car...

C) we have a small car which he can barely fit behind the wheel in. It's much more fuel efficient than our larger car so we use it for local journeys and days out. The big car is for eg motorway journeys as it has much more storage space/leg room and a lot more poke. DH does most of the M-way driving as he's more confident (has been driving much longer).

B- Always me. DP doesnt have a licence and probably wont ever learn due to health conditions.

C
If it's my shiny new car, he can keep his hands off and same goes for his sporty number won't let me in the driving seat

D) always Dh in normal circumstances.

Just seen the follow up post! DP thinks because he had driving lessons many moons ago he knows it all, and will often give commentry. Good job I can switch off easy

That would be extremely irritating. Have you pointed out to him that you manage to drive perfectly competently when he is not in the car, and having someone giving a running commentary/criticism is very distracting? If he doesn't get it, try doing the same thing when he is driving his car and see how he likes it...

C) depends whose car it is.

Next time you both go out into your Nissan just boot him out of the driver's seat and tell him to do one; it's your car.

Me or sometimes DS, DH hates driving with a passion whereas DS and I like it.

I'm a better driver than DP and have the bigger car so I normally drive in my car. If we were in DPs car he would drive (and I'd be a nervous passenger). DP has an old banger with a small engine (commutes a distance so cheap to run)
I've taken DP off my insurance as he puts my premium up (has had several minor bumps and written off two cars in the last 5 years...)
In your circumstances OP I would insist on driving 'my car' - if nothing else I get the seat in the right place and if anyone moves it find it a faff getting it exactly right again -plus adjusting mirrors etc...

Me as a rule - he's a completely unintuitive driver & it infuriates me. (His car has the little arrow that tells you when to change up & down, & he ignores it because he thinks it's wrong - it's spot on, in fact - if he's driving I have to force myself to look the other way!)

If we're going out in the evening & drink will be involved I let him drive home though, as he doesn't mind not drinking (or not as much as I do)

We've both been driving for well over 40 years. No idea what will happen it comes time to drive less/slower or give up altogether

If we are both in the car, dh drives. He enjoys driving, and I don't, and he doesn't like being driven, whereas I do. He doesn't drink, so if I want a drink, I can have one - but frankly I don't drink often so it's not a factor in deciding who drives.