Q - If you & your DH go out in the car together, who drives?

[SuperMumNot]

a) DH
b) you
c) depends whose car you're in
d) DH, unless he's had a drink or two
e) varies - you alternate/whoever feels like it etc

Please just indulge me with an answer - I'll explain why a bit later

(B) me

Depends on whose car, or who's in the mood to drive.
Unless its my campervan then its me, almost always, as DH does not like driving it one iota.

We also have option F -DD she has been known to pick us up after a night out.

Me. DH can't drive so it would be a literal car crash if he attempted it.

B) me

I'm a much better driver and parker, both of which DH completely acknowledges.
He's not a bad driver, never had an accident and drives hundreds of miles a week, but his driving sets my teeth on edge - hesitant, never seems to know where he's going - so we're both happier when I take the wheel.

Always me. I wish he would sometimes but he hates to drive.

DH hates being a passenger as he's "one of the best drivers in the world"

He is a bloody awful passenger - can't keep his mouth shut with criticisms of my driving.

Consequently he drives unless he's drinking, when I drive. Even if he's driving he'll have a couple of pints, which I really disapprove of - I have soft drinks only if I'm driving. Ridiculously he, as the driver, sometimes has more to drink than I, as the passenger

B, always me! DH only drives himself to work and back, if ever we're both in the car I do the driving - we don't even discuss it anymore, it's now a given.

Mostly DP. I'm lazy and scared of driving where I haven't driven before. Tbh it pisses me off a bit, feels like I'm copying my mum's behaviour who will always let my dad drive because he's the man. But, as I said, I'm too lazy and cowardly to work on it.

E for us. Both insured on each other's car so we just see who fancies it.

I'm more likely to drive on a night out though. He'd always rather get a cab or public transport so he can drink. I'm happy to stay sober if it's more convenient for us to go by car.

Depends who's car we go out in, if we take mine I drive - if we take his he drives. I can get that the running commentary piece must drive you up the wall. Do you think he does it because you hit something in his car and thinks you are going to hit something again?

Usually DH because he is a terrible passenger.

Also, I don't really like driving whereas he doesn't mind.

Me. DP doesn't drive.

Always my car as DP has a 2 seater so nowhere for DS to sit. 90%of the time I'll drive because it's easier than him changing the seat and mirrors.

DP has been known to comment on my driving and gets told to shut up or walk! I had a 4x4 until recently and can park anywhere in any space but he still likes to give me 'advice' on when to start turning the wheel

Mostly DH as he's a terrible passenger and not really a drinker.

From your updates Op, this doesn't sound like it's about driving but more like he's treating you like the 'little wifey' which is a much bigger issue altogether.

You need to sort that out.

Usually DP as he's definitely the better driver (lorry driver for 20+ years) However, if I want to drive when we're in my car he doesn't object and keeps his (helpful) advice to a minimum. I have navigated us all around Europe though and am better at map reading/directions than he is

My husband. Unless he fancies a beer where we are going then he's happy for me to drive.

He used to give me a running commentary on my driving until I told him he could:

A) shut the fuck up; or
B) get out

That seems to have worked.

OK, I'd encourage you to stamp out his appalling behaviour when you are driving. I'd just pull over and refuse to continue til he has agreed to just stop it. He can't be in control if you are driving so best practice the relaxation techniques.

I'll confess that i used to do a bit of this when DH was driving, but have managed to control my commentary now mostly by hoping he will get done by police He wasn't as harsh as that but did make his point a couple of times.

I used to insist on half and half driving, but it turned out am waaaay better on navigating, even with a satnav he often goes wrong and prefers to keep driving rather than turn around (sigh). Now i tend to drive in london and he drives long distances, though this is overridden by drink/drive requirements.

And everyone who says their partner gets to drive because he is a terrible passenger...

Please listen to yourself. Would you let your DC play you like this?

Smiling shut up or walk! *
*
Ah, yes, that's exactly what i meant, you have put it so much more succinctly. Brilliant.

E. I think I'm actually a better driver than DH - he doesn't drive at all during the week, only weekends - where I drive every weekday.

I drive fast and effectively and am fab at parking. DH drives slowly, is pedantic about shit like the perfect clutch manoeuvres etc [yawn] and is prone to missing motorway turn offs.
He likes being in control, that's what it's about. He doesn't drive during the week so I capitulate most of the time as I'm not that bothered. He's a really irritating Dad passenger commenting on my speed, efficiency of gear change etc but I just zone it out these days. I used to rant at him but it didn't make any difference so I just ignore him now.

Usually DH, because I drive a lot more than him during the week (I drive to work while he goes on the train, and I do more of the driving DC to their activities), so at weekends he's keen to drive and I'm keen not to.

We take turns - DP is better at driving to unfamiliar places. We have different styles of driving, but we agree not to criticise - the deterrent for being a back seat driver is the pretty sleeping mask kept in glove box!

Me on long motorway journeys, dh on everyday journeys and through towns etc.