Financial Abuse - AlmostFreeMo - Part 4

[AlmostFreeMo]

Next Fred...

Threatening to call ss on you is part of the script Mo, he's just trying to bring you back in line. Hopefully they can get you into refuge today but if not then please do ask/accept money from your parents/anyone to book into a b&b or hotel until he's back out of the country again.

You do not have to live with this anymore

Pizza is right, he is deranged and you can't fight that with logic. You need to let as many people know about this as possible Mo and you need to be prepared for whatever he throws at you next. Tell the police, WA, HT and everybody, strength in numbers. Get the passports and birth certs get out if at all possible. If you cant go, you will have to pull of the Oscar winning act of your life, calm, collected and a bit meek to think he has got to you. If he thinks you are ahead of him he will ramp it up further.

What a twattycuntychops

How fucking dare he.

You need to let the police know and get outer there tonight. Stay away until he leaves. Take Paperwork, tablets, phones, passports with you in case he searches the place whilst you are gone.

Jesus Christ, what exactly does he think the children are at risk of, being overly tired?!! Good luck getting social services involved for that reason.
He's an absolute arsehole. If he was so worried about your capacity to care for your children then why is he going out tomorrow?
I'm so sorry he is putting you through this. You are a strong woman mo, he cannot control you anymore!

And how have I managed all this time on my own with no support.

Tell him that there is no food or money for you & DC and if he wants to call social services, feel free as they'll take a very dim view of his neglect and abuse (withholding money/food IS abuse).

Mamia15 has it on the button. Plus, if you were such a bad mother, what does that say about him that he's been prepared to live abroad and go on holiday rather than see and provide for his children.

Blokes a fuckwit of the first degree.

What are you going to do Mo? You know he's bullshitting about calling SS, so call his bluff on it - report yourself for having a FA ex who's making threats.

Indeed - one day he is so concerned he's considering calling social services, the next day he leaves you overnight alone with the children. And I very much doubt he has any intention of not returning overseas next week, you know - as people often do when concerned about the mental stability of their children's primary carer.

I think he sees SS as a substitute parent - cos one thing is damn certain, it won't be him. I also think it's calculated so that if you run, he will claim this is evidence that you knew he was right about SS and so you fled before they could investigate you. As AuntMabel says, one option is report yourself in order to neutralise the threat.

I fear he's looking to stage an 'intervention' in front of his parents before he goes away.

Btw please let people know about his threats - hiding this will only imply you took them seriously and were afraid.

I'd love to tell him you can ring SS but I've got list as long as my arm about you toss pot

The calls to women's aid
2xsoliters sessions
4x thread on mums net
Phone calls and visit to police station
Refers to domestic violence centre
Calls to refuges
Benefit and maintence calls and forms
Stack of emails and text showing unreasonable behaviour
Mediation woman

And his best threat is she brought the kids back at 8.45pm!

Police informed, SS informed. Schools next.

Akire you forgot CAB haha. But that's exactly right. 10-0

Well done Mo. Keep one step ahead of him and the eyes on the back of your head peeled.

get all your important docs to friends house.

Taking the children out for lunch on Sat means taking them to his parents I presume. He would hardly be able to cope with the three of them on his own.

Did your son come back into your room in the night? I was nervous for you I have to say. I wouldn't be restricting time with the children on his own. You can bet he is milking them for info while pouring poison in their ears about you.

Stay strong, you're doing great.

I get nervous when I think about him having the DC and not just because of the poison he will be spouting. I don't want to scare you but google Family Annihilator profiles. Keep listening and acting on your instincts and stay safe x

Well done you on a roll. Imagine it gets slightly less sereal every time you tell a stranger what's happening.

Well done on informing everyone, just keep swan like in front of him won't you. Calm on the surface - silent assassin. I am concerned for you, I am in the SE with gin if necessary.

Well done Mo! I would not let him take the children to lunch Sat though, I really wouldn't. nor let them sleep in his room. They need to be in with you, safe with you I feel. KOKO xxx

Hey Mo

First ever post (long term lurker) just to say how amazing you are. Under such terrible circumstances you are an amazing parent for your children.

Like Akire, I think that last night's return home time is literally the only thing he can mention. And even then he's wrong. There is NOTHING he can say against you, as you've done nothing wrong. I'd be tempted to provide him with the number for your local ss referral hub. Mention you are happy to discuss any aspect of your parenting - past and present.

I'd also be tempted to point out the local fostering allowances in your area ( in mine £200 a week for under eleven and £250 a week at eleven and over) as a more accurate picture of what it costs to raise a child, as he's so keen to take the advice of the ss. I'm sure he won't change but it may be worth making the point.

Good luck with telling the school. I suspect they will be very supportive. As others have said, I would leave as soon as you possibly can. I'm concerned that he has plans to remove the children from you/lodge them with his parents/ take them abroad.

Huge good wishes

The fact that you were in McDonalds waiting for the refuge to call you back last night, when he is threatening you with S/S should have you dancing around the kitchen.
The Prick doesn't know what we know Tra la la !!! should he wish to call SS, I am sure they would be knocked out to discover you were so frightened you were frozen like a rabbit in the headlights.
re all your emails & important stuff, you can send it all to dropbox/ iCloud. obsv,with foolproof password. in the mean time, as you won't have time to print it all out in one go.
you can also buy A4 old diaries (2015/16 ) from Amazon.
DON'T PANIC.
Whatever he says to you is thought out to cause you maximum terror.
KOKOMO

oh shit, you don't have money for Amazon, would you let me buy it for you ?

Well done Mo, you've stayed calm and dealt with his latest bombardment of absurdness.

KOKO

Well done keep going safe in the knowledge you are doing the right thing and you know that.

We do advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

How are you doing this evening Mo?
How did you get on with telling people about your situation?