Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Financial Abuse - AlmostFreeMo - Part 4

997 replies

AlmostFreeMo · 26/04/2016 06:51

Next Fred...

OP posts:
OrlandaFuriosa · 21/05/2016 19:15

Sorry, Mo!

Can't answer on lone parents, nor on viewing. Am having lovely self indulgent evening as my family is at the cup final.

WitteryTwittery · 21/05/2016 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WitteryTwittery · 21/05/2016 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlmostFreeMo · 21/05/2016 19:49

Wittery, I want some of whatever she's having!

OP posts:
nowbernard · 21/05/2016 20:12

I got back in touch with friends I hadn't seen for ages. Long story short - I married one!

AlmostFreeMo · 21/05/2016 20:38

Nowbernard, wow, what a happy ending!

OP posts:
BoatyMcBoat · 21/05/2016 21:09

How about some study to pass the quieter evenings? There are lots of free courses on line, lots of them short courses so not a massive commitment involved if you find the subject bores you after all.

Dungandbother · 22/05/2016 07:32

In the beginning after useless ex left (for his affair OW) I was in a lonely place. I needed to fill that hole.

Long story short, I had four sexual partners in about 18 months, each lasting around 4-5 months. But I was trying to replace the hole in my life and thankfully had the sense to see these men weren't right and I was being weak to try to make them fit my life. I ended it with three, one ended with me. At that point I was very low.
I forced myself to do things as a lone parent so booked and went on holiday, theme parks, travelled abroad alone when children were with ex. I changed my perspective. I instantly became happier. I accepted being a lone parent.

Now I'm not bothered if I'm on my own. I've on line dated and have got fed up with that, I can weed out nice men but they mostly want sex. Again, sometimes I choose that but over time I've not needed it.

It's been three years until I feel this way just for time comparison on how you feel now.

And the only other thing I need to tell you..... But it may sound really odd!
Loneliness goes hand in hand with my menstrual cycle. I've now plotted it because it's so consistent! It's after ovulation and it lasts about 3 days. Then it goes and I swear I never feel lonely the rest of the time at all. ConfusedGrin

AlmostFreeMo · 22/05/2016 20:28

Boaty, thanks for the suggestion. I've just been having a little looky...could be a great way to take my mind off things. I bore myself these days with it all.

OP posts:
AlmostFreeMo · 22/05/2016 20:45

Dung, I'm fascinated by your loneliness theory! Very interesting.
Usually I'm OK being alone - I suppose I'm used to it by now and having lived with someone so self absorbed has probably helped me cope with it without even realising. So thanks exP for that. But then sometimes it is unbearable, especially when you are housebound at night with kids unable to just go out and do something.

OP posts:
Dungandbother · 22/05/2016 22:09

I use a period app called P cycle but there's many to choose from.
Distract yourself with one Grin

DollyTwat · 23/05/2016 08:49

No I've been a single mum for a very long time, and it is difficult to get used to being in your own all the time. So, I invite friends over to mine so I don't have to get babysitters. Those friends with a partner are usually more than happy to come to me, and with the nicer weather, a wine night sat in the garden is lovely

AlmostFreeMo · 23/05/2016 11:25

I've been doing that too, Dolly. It's lovely having people over but I keep getting that post-visitor low after they leave, the contrast between having lively conversation and laughter...and then they go home to their partners and I'm alone again. That's the tough bit. But it's not like that all the time. Sometimes I am very glad to have time alone. And especially glad that years of being in a crap relationship, being taken for granted and being treated badly are coming to an end. Actually scrap everything I said before: I must remind myself more of that before I start whining about being lonely! This is far, far better.
I do like to think out loud on this thread.

OP posts:
AlmostFreeMo · 23/05/2016 15:14

Furiously angry again, fighting back tears standing in a crowd. He just sent one of his refusal emails. Why am I in this situation?! So angry.

OP posts:
HamletsSister · 23/05/2016 15:46

Refusing money? Arsebadger. Fuckwit.

We are here for you. (Have name changed but been here a while).

OrlandaFuriosa · 23/05/2016 15:48

Oh mo, so sorry, refused money? Mediation? What a p. Chin up, it will come to an end..

BoatyMcBoat · 23/05/2016 16:19

He is such a fuck face wankbadger. I hate him.

AlmostFreeMo · 23/05/2016 16:38

He's refused money - I can't give details here - but for something important for one of the kids. Instead of saying here you are, he's saying he'll advance it instead, thus leaving us short the following month.

I cut and pasted a section from an email I sent months ago where I'd worked out his leftover disposable income and said so that leaves £x a month, what are you doing with it? And how DARE he refuse his child money for a special event.

I'm so cross I can hardly breathe, I swear. I just don't know what to do I swear, honestly, I cannot go on like this for much longer.

OP posts:
AlmostFreeMo · 23/05/2016 16:40

I was trying not to cry at school in front of everyone - one of my friends saw me and gave me a hug, and then I totally messed up a play date because I was wrapped up in all of this - the mum knows everything but I feel awful for turning up a mess.
I HATE him I HATE him I HATE him.

OP posts:
AlmostFreeMo · 23/05/2016 16:55

I don't know who to talk to.

OP posts:
DollyTwat · 23/05/2016 16:58

He's doing it to make you feel that way sweetheart.

I so know the feeling of such anger - because the money isn't for you, it's for the kids. The move to a child maintenance payment needs to be speeded up if you can. Just a sum of money no begging for it.

AlmostFreeMo · 23/05/2016 17:02

I can't do a thing until he's back in the UK really. Enforcement abroad takes months.

I just had a panic attack and then couldn't help but screamed so loud the neighbours are probably wondering what the hell is going on. The kids got scared and all asked me what was wrong. I've reassured them it's nothing to do with them and they are fine now but I can't have that happening in front of them again.

OP posts:
clam · 23/05/2016 17:03

I hate him too!

Bastard.

AlmostFreeMo · 23/05/2016 17:03

I messaged his mum. I don't care any more.

OP posts:
AlmostFreeMo · 23/05/2016 17:04

My friend's going to call me. I'll calm down soon I hope. Bloody hell.

OP posts: