Financial Abuse - AlmostFreeMo - Part 4

[AlmostFreeMo]

Next Fred...

Even I am managing to find 3p funny! I sent him an amount including a discount but because he thinks I'm a thief and doesn't trust me, he assumed I hadn't applied the discount and took it off again! Now I've told him it was already there he wants the invoice. I've said if you don't pay it then the kids can't go. He can look all this stuff up for himself since he has so much time to dispute them.

Imagine if I got my hands on the rounded up figure, what I'd do with it.

Every single one of these emails is concrete, written proof of his financial abuse. Let him send them. Let him quibble. Try to see every single one of them woven into the rope he will hang himself with.

Jesus this man is sick. He won't pay me the extra (about £9) so is saying to return the money and he'll do it himself.

Surely his valuable time is costing more much more to sort out than the amount. When he could be doing "productive work stuff" instead!

I'd say don't worry I flog a bottle of your £40 for a tenner to next door neighbour problem sorted!

£40 wine!

Anything from mediator woman?

No just that she needed to go back to him again to explain the mediation process.

Idiot checked it online and just transferred the difference. But he's still saying it's my fault. Warped is not the word.

I guess all the fuckwittery over 3p feeds his ego and gets you involved in a conversation

It's hard to have no contact when you have to argue every single thing

Mo going back to your garden and what you said about it representing the future. I know just what you mean. If you saw the way I've lived in my bedroom for 3 years you'd be shocked. I've basically had a new bed and two large plastic lidded boxes as bedside tables plus two chairs. It's been a mess but I had to get rid of what represented 'us' even though I had no idea as to what represented me. My children were a bit upset and woukd say come in mum we'll go and get your room sorted out but I would just say not yet. But here I am 3 years later and my room is now being done. I knew can what I wanted but I went as far as getting an interior decorator in to put it together for me so it's just right and I can say yes I love it - it really is me.

Re depression. A person can have what is known as a low grade depression and be so used to living with it that they think how they feel is the norm.

Jellybelly, I'm glad you finally have your room that represents you! Well done.

And gosh, low grade depression...it's certainly possible. Our lives together have certainly all been about him and less about me.

He's such a twat.

I am about to go entirely over to pots for the garden. DH wants a flamethrower and to kill the whole garden and start again. We are over-run with slugs and snails, I can't do weeding (ms) and he doesn't, the lawn was not laid properly (cheap incompetent gardener) and everything has got out of control. None of us even want to sit out there on nice days, because the whole thing's such a mess.

However, I have a lovely blossoming lilac in a big pot, and a large bright azalea in another. Both make me smile, and the scent of the lilac wafts about and is gorgeous.

Tomatoes and herbs in large pots is my next project.

I think from now on wherever possible requests for money for school stuff/clubs etc scan in the documents and attach the link of where to pay it etc.

Random, I do that with school stuff, but for things where I am the account holder, I have to do myself.

Anyway, here's to the weekend, and trying to shove all of this to the back of my mind for a while. A friend is coming with pizza and wine - how can that not be good?!

Have you heard anything yet from CSAa or benefits ?

Not yet. Have chased them since the letter went missing but not received it yet. Such a slow process. Hope it's all well back dated.

It should be backdated. Keep chasing; if he opened the letter, I wouldn't put it past him to try to scupper it in some way.

Have a great weekend - we've just been to our County Show. I love watching the cattle, sheep etc parade with their rosettes. (And am always gobsmacked by the sheeps' hairy bllcks! ).

I've just put my potatoes in pots... The flowers are pretty, and the godchildren love digging out the potatoes from them later.

ChainMo is a very silly person.. Can you think of him rather as a stupid bank manager or electricity provider? You will be changing him as soon as possible but there is unavoidable bureaucracy which makes no sense save to the provider. it's just a period to be got through. Reduce him in your brain to an insignificant irritation, if you can. Look down at him as if from a high hill, to reduce him to size.

I think that's much the best way of growing spuds - no hard digging, just empty the pot. If you get blackfly on those flowers, a spray of a strong solution of garlic puts them right off!

I think Orlanda's idea of reducing him to an insignificant irritation is a good one, if you can do it.

Wheels bins for spuds, that way you ban build them up bu adding more earth as they grow so more spuds.

Boaty, how do you make your garlic solution?

About half a bulb of garlic - half a dozen cloves, or thereabouts - boiled up in water, then strained, cooled and put into a sprayer-thing. Keep it in the fridge because otherwise it becomes revolting (as I found out!). I hadn't got a recipe so I just put as much water as I thought seemed reasonable. If I'd made it stronger it might have worked better, but I think you also have to think about how much the smell is going to waft about the garden! It probably wouldn't be detectable to us for too long, but we have cats too and I didn't want to upset them too much!

I love how gardening tips have taken over. I shall have to call the next thread FreeMo's Alternative Gardening.

Can I ask any of you survivors of abusive relationships, how do you cope with loneliness (especially if a single parent) and how did you meet any subsequent partners? I should probably start lurking in the lone parents section but it's quite a different thing when you are recovering from a relationship of this type, isn't it? It's not exactly my top priority right now, and it's probably a good thing to be alone for a while, but I can't stop thinking about it.

Also, I feel like I need a laugh tonight. Any viewing tips?

Sorry, I don't ask much, do I?