Meeting went well.
Whilst it's fresh in my mind:
She confirmed that what the police officer told me was bollocks and that if I want I could go to a more senior or more experienced or specialised police officer who is more clued up on these sorts of matters and indeed the law itself. I knew that, you guys knew that...but when an officer is sitting opposite you telling you there is nothing they can do at a vulnerable time like this, you believe them. So I will bear that in mind.
She also didn't have a very high opinion of the NCDV who I spoke to last week. Didn't go into details but she said I'd be better off going to the police than them.
She put my mind at rest that if (by some miracle) he agrees to attend a session with me when he's back (yes, she said face to face is best if I can wait that long which I don't know if I can), as it's her job to remain impartial and to put the children's best interests first in our case, if he does start to intimidate me, she would step in and tell him it's not acceptable. She also said she'd be able to explain to him what his parental responsibilities are by way of providing legal information, and not in the form of advice or her opinion - which mediation is definitely not about.
But I'm skeptical anyway that we will ever get that far. If he fails to respond to her, she'll sign off the paperwork so I can go start court proceedings. So as far as I see it, whichever way he chooses to go, cooperate or not, his time is up and he has to start taking proper responsibility for his children. And if he chooses to fight that, he won't win, under any circumstances.
I'll wait and see what happens with this first and then I'll take it from there.