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Original poster

Financial Abuse - AlmostFreeMo - Part 4

997 replies

AlmostFreeMo · 26/04/2016 06:51

Next Fred...

OP posts:
Grumpyoldblonde · 29/04/2016 17:45

Don't respond, let him set himself up, this is intimidation (which he says he doesn't do)
Silent assassin time.

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 29/04/2016 17:55

It's tragic. I'm disappointed in the lack of intelligence in his responses. It makes me feel stupid too.

OP posts:
Grumpyoldblonde · 29/04/2016 18:00

Mo, you have not been in this position before, you could not have foreseen his responses. you are far from stupid, you know that.
Thank God he is being so dense in his responses, you expected him to be tying you in knots with his cleverness, not happening is it?

DollyTwat · 29/04/2016 18:00

Christ he sound like my fuckwit of an ex. Legalese speak, is that what it's called?

I find that when I get something like that from him it helps to Raf it in a pompous Brummie accent out loud, then I laugh and laugh.

This is the point you say to yourself, what the actual fuck did I ever see in You?

If you feel undermined or threatened no one can tell you they can prove you don't. You have actual proof of what made you feel that way.

DollyTwat · 29/04/2016 18:02

*read it out

It does show that he is VERY concerned about appearances doesn't it.

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 29/04/2016 18:18

Yes. Absolutely no concern about losing his children. All about "ME ME ME".

OP posts:
DollyTwat · 29/04/2016 18:30

I think I found my exfuckwits indifference to my dc far far worse to handle than anything he ever did to me.

But I realised that no matter how many opportunities I gave him to be a good dad, I couldn't make him into the kind of dad they wanted or needed. I would still be with him had I been able to do that

I guess what I'm trying to say is that he will be the kind of dad HE wants to be.

Try to ignore the fuckwittery he's showing, laugh at it if you can. He is still responsible for paying you child maintenance, and I think now is the time to TELL him how much and that you are not legally obligated to give him a breakdown of what it's spent on

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 29/04/2016 18:38

Dolly, I've already told him. He thinks I've just made the figure up. I told him to look it up himself but he refused. So he'll have to waste thousands a year on fees instead of just giving it to his children.

Sorry your ex has a similar attitude to your kids. Blimey we have so much work to do. If my son EVER treated a woman the same way...I would never let it happen.

OP posts:
DollyTwat · 29/04/2016 18:45

You might get some arrears Mo from the date you put the claim in. Well they will TRY to get the arrears out of him, I'm still owed £2,500 which I'll never see

I got an attachment of earnings which meant the amount came straight out of his salary, at which he left his job and had never worked since (cash only jobs).

Joysmum · 29/04/2016 18:56

Stupid no, blinded yes.

Isn't it enlightening that now that the wool has been lifted from your eyes you're clearly far more intelligent than him Wink

You'll do so much better without his millstone shackled to you Mo Smile

tribpot · 29/04/2016 19:01

Surely the children are required as props on stage, as he performs the play "I am a great husband, provider and father"?

I am very concerned about the dc being there with him and other people - you don't know that they wouldn't collude to remove the kids from the house and take them to his parents if he's convinced them you've gone mad. Who knows what he might say to them? "Sorry I didn't see you all the time I was back, but mummy wouldn't let me. When I move back in the summer you can come and live with me and we'll have lots of treats" or even "mummy's sending me away again and I don't know when I'll ever be back" - I wouldn't put anything past him.

I know it sounds macabre, but could anyone watch the house whilst they're there with him?

Mamia15 · 29/04/2016 19:09

My thoughts exactly, could you wait outside the house - take a picnic and a book while you wait in the car?

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 29/04/2016 19:25

That's making me worry now. Ok I won't go far. I could even just go upstairs. Weird but the whole thing is just plain weird.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 29/04/2016 19:28

I can't wait till he's gone and till the SH mediator calls him. I look forward to her feedback. I'm preparing some stuff to forward on to her.
But this two hour period to get over first feels like a huge mountain to climb.

OP posts:
notonyurjellybellynelly · 29/04/2016 19:36

Just stay upstairs Mo.

Akire · 29/04/2016 19:49

If he was planning something I doubt he would have tipped you off. Could just be a for warn together with if I hear you been slagging me off to third parts - I have you etc that he expects you not to say anything in front of his family. Odd but hey this is him.

PhoenixReisling · 29/04/2016 19:59

I know you said friends would feel uncomfortable....but what about a relative?

I know they live a distance....but this is an emergency support situation.

Zaurak · 29/04/2016 20:11

Please don't leave the kids alone with him. For some reason the fact he's got other people coming along is ringing alarm bells ... Don't let them out of your sight and if you can, bring someone too. Somethings not quite right here...

glad2016 · 29/04/2016 20:18

I'll be blunt here - I really am concerned he is going to take the children ( or cause the other people to do so) on Sun. Maybe I am wrong, but I really would NOT let them out of your sight, just in case. And I would change the arrangements to a soft play place where you are there the whole time ( and there are staff to help out) AND I would take at least one friend/relative with you as well. Sorry if that seems a bit OTT but that is what I am thinking . [flowers[ and Cake and Wine and whatever else you want. KOKO Mo xxx

rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 29/04/2016 20:22

If he and two other people picked up a child each and walked out of the house with them - yes, that would be very difficult to prevent. Mo would need to organise an immediate hearing at court and with Social Services and police aware (and kids left with his parents since daddy has left the country) I'd think they would be ordered to be returned. But very distressing for the children and Mo.

I second glad Mo, I'm not comfortable either with the thought of you in that house.

IhatetheDailyMail · 29/04/2016 20:31

NC but I still think you are right to be very wary of leaving them in the house alone with him and his friends :) KOKO Mo xxx

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 29/04/2016 20:31

Gosh. I don't think anything like that will happen but you're right I should be there and be on red alert just in case. There's nothing they could do - he can't take them with him and they can't take them off me, impossible. Luckily I've made the police aware of this situation so if I do need to make a 999 call they'll know immediately what it's about.
Scary.

OP posts:
notonyurjellybellynelly · 29/04/2016 20:31

Mo. Some of these posts are bordering on hysteria so -

do you have the children's passports.

PhoenixReisling · 29/04/2016 20:36

The thing is....why if he has been home for the last ten days or more....why has he suddenly asked his family and friends to come over for lunch?

Didn't he see everyone over this period...obviously not or even minimally.

He may or may not be planning anything re: his family and taking the children....but it's just so odd to invite everyone over, insist he sees the children....but only at the house Hmm.

This is also is totally out of order, in the sense that it's your home (both you and the children) and he's having a lunch there...like its a happy time.

Maybe, it's time to revert to plan A and insist you meet at a neutral place or half way (he could ask his parents to take home).

Maybe ask the refuge for advice?

PhoenixReisling · 29/04/2016 20:36

BTW.

You are allowed to change your mind.

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