Page 17 | Financial Abuse - AlmostFreeMo - Part 4

notonyurjellybellynelly · 29/04/2016 20:40

This is also is totally out of order, in the sense that it's your home (both you and the children) and he's having a lunch there...like its a happy time

It's what this whole thing is all about. He is trying to force mo into a happy family United front. He has no idea that she is now string enough to call his bluff and not cares who knows she considers herself separated.

notonyurjellybellynelly · 29/04/2016 20:41

Sorry about typos - I'm having trouble working on a new iPad.

Original poster

AlmostFreeMo · 29/04/2016 20:48

I have the passports right here and they will stay in a safe place.

He couldn't possibly take the kids - for various reasons it just wouldn't work even if he wanted to. He's only going back for a few months so nothing crazy is going to happen on Sunday. Now it's me trying to reassure all of you!

I'm not going to leave them alone though.

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Original poster

AlmostFreeMo · 29/04/2016 20:49

He's only invited two people...it's certainly not a party!

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Original poster

AlmostFreeMo · 29/04/2016 21:01

Honestly I don't want to make a big deal of it and turn it into an argument. I've agreed, I'll be on guard, it will be torture but it will be over quickly and once he's gone I'll be able to breath and get things moving again without his physical presence hampering me every day.

I can't imagine if I had chosen to separate from him whilst living with him...hell is not the word so for that I'm grateful.

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rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 29/04/2016 21:10

It's not hysteria or trying to scare you love, just worth thinking of all eventualities, even the daft ones, so nothing takes you by surprise. And his threats carry less weight when you've had the think ahead and thought - yup, if you actually did do that, then I'd do this and it would work out fine.

BoatyMcBoat · 29/04/2016 21:51

I think 'third parties' means his friends. As you don't see them, you don't have to worry about that. It probably includes his mum, but it's unlikely she'd have the guts to tell him would she? She'd soften it, if she said anything at all, from what you've said about her, but if I've misread that, I'm sorry.

Is it too late to say you can't make it back in time and go back to the meet half way thing? Is there a nice restaurant or pub where he could take the children for lunch and you and your family could occupy a table on the other side of the room?

IhatetheDailyMail · 29/04/2016 21:58

Not being hysterical, just looking at all the possibilities?

Mo you do what you feel most comfortable doing :) If you have the passports then all is well :)

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 29/04/2016 22:16

Am I right that you are planning to arrive earlier than his guests, stay in the house with him and the children because he is so crap with them?

You and him, just hanging out in the house until the others turn up.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather be fashionably late?

I bet he hasn't told anyone you are splitting up. I bet he's relying on you not creating a scene. Hoping that faced with him, the relatives and the children right there, he can put you back in your special place where you pretend to everyone else that everything is fine.

BoatyMcBoat · 29/04/2016 22:20

Mo, you're the one best placed to know what he's likely to do re the children, and if you believe he won't do anything seriously stupid then I believe you.

I was wondering whether your mum, or other relative might like to go back down with you and stay for a few days - he'll have gone, after all - to help you sort things out, like making initial phone calls, watching the children if you need someone to do that while you attend appointments etc. It would kill two birds with one stone: help for you in the first few days after he goes away again, and support for you while he's having his happy family lunch.

DollyTwat · 29/04/2016 22:25

You are of course at libery to tell anyone you want anything you want. He doesn't own you, he can't control what you say and do

Let's face it it would be hard to make up a worse situation than the truth. He must realise on some level that he's treated you like an employee - a very badly treated employee at that

notonyurjellybellynelly · 30/04/2016 03:57

*I have the passports right here and they will stay in a safe place.

He couldn't possibly take the kids - for various reasons it just wouldn't work even if he wanted to. He's only going back for a few months so nothing crazy is going to happen on Sunday. Now it's me trying to reassure all of you!

I'm not going to leave them alone though*

Hi Mo. Thanks you for all of that. I asked about the passports in the hope that by you saying you had them (I was pretty sure you did) people would calm down and their would be less hysteria on the thread.

It really was getting a bit too much.

PhoenixReisling · 30/04/2016 07:46

It's not hysteria or trying to scare you love, just worth thinking of all eventualities, even the daft ones, so nothing takes you by surprise. And his threats carry less weight when you've had the think ahead and thought - yup, if you actually did do that, then I'd do this and it would work out fine.

^^^this^^^^^^^^^^

RandomMess · 30/04/2016 08:41

I wonder if he simply wants the DC there for lunch so he can pretend that you are still not "separated" if he didn't these relatives would ask awkward questions. Perhaps the relatives are actually giving him a lift so they get to see the DC... and it's not him bothered about seeing them at all!

If you don't want to wait in the house wait outside in your car, blocking their in so there is no way they can go anywhere until you move your car and the DC are safely with you

mix56 · 30/04/2016 09:00

He is not going to kidnap the dcs to his parents/other & leave the country. It is hysteria

He is having these people over fairly simply: "Thanks for picking me up to take me to airport, would you like to come at 12H for a spot of lunch before we leave ?"

I think it is actually to your advantage, to be there, to show you are providing the DCs for him to say Goodbye. & showing these friends, that you have not been living with him, you are not making lunch, that you are not taking him to airport, as you are now single. (He will leave all the clearing up presumably. you could remark on it, saying anything not cleaned and put away shall be binned, You am not his cleaner.)

This will instantly be relayed by the 3rd partys to his entourage.

and yes, don't arrive too early, arrive with your kids & suitcase & start putting washing machine on around them, as he opens his M&S tapas. Do not talk to him, be polite but occupied with them.
Q "Have you been away?"
A "yes, prick & I are no longer living together, I will be finding other accom. once the finances have been settled".

OrlandaFuriosa · 30/04/2016 09:59

I agree about making it obvious you are not keeping the DCs from him. That's very important, esp as they have been away while he is over, even for the best of reasons, but also for their sake. They will continue to need him even if they need more of him than he is able or willing to provide.

kittybiscuits · 30/04/2016 10:55

He just wants to make out he is interested in his children. For the purposes of influencing the invited audience. Soon be gone. Hope you're hanging on in there Mo

Zaurak · 30/04/2016 14:02

Yes, he obviously wants to show a third party that he's a doting dad.

I suggest you drop in several comments along the lines of

'Yes it's nice for them to see you - you've barely seen them since you got back so good that you're spending time now. '

Joysmum · 30/04/2016 14:45

'Yes it's nice for them to see you - you've barely seen them since you got back so good that you're spending time now. '

I personally wouldn't, because he could say that Mo shares the responsibility for that because she took the children away. Anyone not knowing the story would be on his side with that.

mix56 · 30/04/2016 15:46

if there is any comment that he was deprived of time, you might say,

"That was entirely your call, you were out playing golf & at events. If the children were a priority you simply could have stayed at home & been a caring father to them."

Original poster

AlmostFreeMo · 30/04/2016 17:40

I think it's best not to say anything! The evidence is clear, there is no defamation and everything I need is already recorded for those concerned to see in black and white, with no doubt or confusion over the truth: just pure facts.

Had an awesome day with the kids. Apart from the odd fleeting thought about him being foolish for missing out on things like this, I've been mostly thinking about the future, my and my kids' future, and am feeling really positive about that at least. Not thinking about the shit ahead of me today.

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Akire · 30/04/2016 18:52

Sounds really positive Mo prob helps being in different place. You will be awesome you have been awesome so far and can be again

BoatyMcBoat · 30/04/2016 19:04

Agree with you, though I'd be so tempted to respond to a 'missing the kids' type comment with "yes, but at least you had a nice time last week with your golf, and the x and the y, didn't you?". But I'd say it anxiously, as if I'd bought into his Happy Family Guy persona.

Original poster

AlmostFreeMo · 30/04/2016 20:04

Also...brought it home to me how much better things are without his constant silly stresses: moaning about car park charges, kids all wanting ice creams, stressing about getting home in time for whatever on the tv that he couldn't possibly miss, not really enjoying the moment or appreciating the beauty of a place or the fact we're spending time together - I know he'd deny that last one particularly but I'm the one who feels stressed when I sense he doesn't really want to be somewhere. I'll never have any of that to worry about again - and if I find a new man who does, it will be an instant bye bye to him.

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RandomMess · 30/04/2016 20:18

He really is a miserable w*nker isn't he!