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Original poster

Financial Abuse - AlmostFreeMo - Part 4

997 replies

AlmostFreeMo · 26/04/2016 06:51

Next Fred...

OP posts:
rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 28/04/2016 06:58

'My partner is unstable and has kidnapped my children'

'Ah yes, she informed us of her actions earlier sir.'

'She is fabricating lies about my degrading her!'

'... Would you like to discuss the evidence regarding financial abuse or regarding emotional abuse and coercive behaviour first sir?'

'I will report to social services!!'

'On what grounds sir? Being out after bedtime is not exactly meeting criteria for involvement?'

PhoenixReisling · 28/04/2016 07:08

Glad that you are safe >shakes pom poms<

Just remember Mo

How many times he did NOT Skype/call the children whilst abroad.
How much time he has NOT spent with his children whilst he has been back
How many times he has NOT bought them food whilst back.

Also remember

Since being back how MANY times he has gone out
That he has used the time here to CHECk labels/dates on food but not bought ANY for the family.
Wants you to provide RECIPETS for items paid for over the Easter holiday....even though he was on HOLIDAY himself.
He has threatened you with police/SS because you were out until 8.45pm
He has said that you are not separated even though you have TOLD him the relationship is over.

Don't be concerned with what he is doing....this is all of his own making quite frankly.

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 28/04/2016 07:13

I know.
I hate the way I so easily start worrying about him. But I can't help it. He was my partner...the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, retire with and travel the world with. Unthinkable now, any of that, but it's still a bit surreal what it's all come to.

OP posts:
PhoenixReisling · 28/04/2016 07:25

Of course it will be hard....you will grieve for the relationship you thought you had/was going to have in the future.

If you feel a wobble, just read through your freds Grin

kittybiscuits · 28/04/2016 08:14

He will help you to detach from him by continuing to be vile and unreasonable and by continuing to deny what he has done to you. He will also continue to abuse you by lying extensively to anyone who will listen - family, friends, authorities. It's normal for you, as a person with emotions and compassion, to be concerned about him. You can't just turn it off like a tap. You have been making excuses for him for a very long time. This too shall pass Mo.

yolofish · 28/04/2016 09:22

more cheers for you from here - so pleased you and the children are safe, thank god for your family member. It's all upwards from here, he hasnt got a leg to stand on. You will win.

Akire · 28/04/2016 09:22

Morning hope you got some sleep. He's probable polishing up his lovely kitchen, like nothing is wrong. He should be off today you said for a night or two? Are you staying until he's gone back to work abroad?

Can kids go to school today or giving it a miss? You all deserve bit of a flop day if you can

BoatyMcBoat · 28/04/2016 09:37

Well done that woman! Relieved that you are out of there?

He is the biggest TwattyCuntyFuckChops in the whole land of enormous TwattyCuntyFuckChops. He is King TwattyCuntyFuckChops.

Hmmm, I don't think I like him very much Wink

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 28/04/2016 10:00

It gets better and better for me and worse and worse for him: at midday he claims he's worried about my ability to look after his children and threatening to call social services, by 7pm he's going out celebrating with his friends for his friend's special occasion last night. I have cast iron proof, as documented by him himself.
Obviously seriously worried about me and the children.

OP posts:
Akire · 28/04/2016 10:02

Sounds about right!

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 28/04/2016 10:03

I'm planning to stay here till he's gone. Too far from schools to take them in, but also (slim) risk he'd turn up at the school. He's too worried about image for me to cause a scene. Plus he's been in hiding really, avoiding mutual friends, the school where he might have to talk to my friends etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 28/04/2016 10:05

He must be seriously stupid. He's dropping himself in it big time. Don't think he's doing any groundwork at all to protect himself of his assets.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 28/04/2016 10:05

Or not of

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 28/04/2016 10:09

How are the kids reacting Mo?

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 28/04/2016 10:20

My kids seem fine, I've dressed it up as a little break away (fortunately staying in a lovely area) so we can get out and about to nice places. My eldest hasn't asked a single question about what's wrong with me and daddy or asked why they are not going to school. He's taking it in his stride. The only time he got upset is when I said where we were going and he asked when daddy was coming, I said he's not and he cried a little but quickly got over it. There are kids around too so easily distracted by that fortunately. A refuge would have been much tougher in that regard.
They are fine and playing as normal this morning. They have me and trust me I suppose, I'm hoping that's why they are reacting well (so far).

OP posts:
rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 28/04/2016 10:43

I'm starting to think he's less stupid than actually so delusional that to him this all makes sense, he is that out of touch with reality. He is as you say, actively dropping himself in it and is completely oblivious that he's doing it. He's going to get a very serious shock when he runs into professionals and legal realities, he is going to be baffled and infuriated by no one seeing his reality and not being able to make things go his way, and that is going to be a very key time to do exactly what you're so wisely doing now and stay right away from him. Thinking of you Thanks The kids will cope fine with facts, what you're protecting them from is what would cause them stress, being around tension and arguments and someone this unstable. You're their key carer, dad vanishes for months at a time, if you're ok they will be ok.

Thattimeofyearagain · 28/04/2016 10:48

Well done Mo, King Twat chops can fottfsof !

mix56 · 28/04/2016 10:55

He knows though Mo, that you are a wonderful Mother, his threats of SS are not because he really believes you are incapable or risk them harm. but as manipulation.

He may however use his day light hours seeking legal advice.
Is there a company legal dept where he works?

mix56 · 28/04/2016 10:56

he will be logginging that you have removed them & he was unable to see them on his break.

mix56 · 28/04/2016 10:56

logging, grrr

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 28/04/2016 11:00

You know I honestly believe he's hiding this from absolutely everyone. He has so much pride and arrogance it's staggering and saving face is more important than anything to him. I don't think he'd breath a word to a soul, after all if he believes there's nothing wrong, the world will believe it, right?

I've had no signs whatsoever that he's told anyone. Or surely I would have had some comeback on that - concerned friends, relatives etc. who know me as well.

Definitely no phone calls from any authorities or professionals!

OP posts:
Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 28/04/2016 11:01

He was unable to see his children because I removed them? Haha, ok, have evidence of him out playing golf, drinking etc. within two days of his arrival. Really desperate to spend time with his children.
I'm so winning. In a very sad way.

OP posts:
Grumpyoldblonde · 28/04/2016 11:03

I would have thought that he can seek all the legal advice he wants, but Mo wants to end their relationship, she owns half the house and he works abroad for months at a time. If she wants out they either have to sell or he buys her out, he won't let her keep it obviously, he cant make her stay with him as a couple and he would be entitled to see his kids of course (and they are entitled to a relationship with him).
The financial abuse and the way he is, is of course awful, but they are the reason she is leaving, the fact is we can all leave our relationships if we want to. Of course, he won't make it easy, on Planet Ego, he has done no wrong. The threats etc. are to be expected and very hard to deal with. there is no lawyer in the land that can make her stay with him, and no judge in the land will overlook that half the house is Mo's and make her and the children homeless. The only thing he can really do is make CM a problem.

Akire · 28/04/2016 11:57

Glad you can dress it up as a mini break. Heart breaking about oldest he's probable missed his dad and believed him coming home would mean time together , then he spends most of time doing his own stuff.

Think once he's gone and you back home then tell kids truth, I woulnt risk it now incase the kids say to him and he kicks off. But you had time discuss this as family and approach telling kids, if he can't accept that then to late now.

Maybe worth ring to benefit office see about claim it's been 3-4 weeks now? Hopefully start payments before 6 weeks.

He may well feel embarrassed with family and friends but he's not doing anything about it, because disclosure and money are more important than you and kids.

FinallyHere · 28/04/2016 11:59

So glad to read you are away and somewhere safe with the DC.

Flourishes pom poms. Go Mo, xx