I've met someone and want to ask him out

[ProfessorPickles]

I've recently met someone who has really taken me by surprise. I've been single for around 3 years now, apart from a short relationship, and I'd had very little interest in men for a long time until I met him.

He's good looking but what got me by surprise is his personality, he's very smiley and has a great sense of humour. He makes me laugh and is a genuinely nice person. I haven't met someone who's even caught my eye for a long, long time so it's a little bit exciting!

The problem however, is that he's a teacher at my university. Not my teacher, but I have contact with him occasionally.
We are a similar age (I'm a slightly older student) and I will be leaving in 2 months so would wait until then.

I have no idea if he is interested in me too, but I can't believe I've had my head turned after so long of being adamant I was going to be happily alone forever so I feel it would be foolish to just ignore it.

My idea was to give him a 'thank you' card/gift as I am leaving (for helping with my work, I'll be giving them to two other members of staff) and put my number inside. I thought this would be good so he can choose to take it or leave it, as it's potentially a little bit inappropriate?
If he isn't interested he can simply ignore it to spare me the embarrassment of asking to his face! Although, I've known several teachers to get together with students once they've left so I suppose it isn't that radical of an idea.

Best case scenario: We go on a date, fall in love, get married, have children and tour the country with our family band.

Worst case scenario: He never contacts me and life goes on.

It's worth a try surely?

Call me a bloody hypocrite (being a complete, utter coward, etc.) PGtips but I really, really think you should just go up to him and talk.

What have you got to lose? He's leaving afterwards for a horribly long while (ugghh) and if the conversation doesn't yield anything positive (I'm not saying it can't be positive) at least you know you won't have to see him for a while.

Please shout me down if you feel the need. I'm going to re-read your post again to get some inspiration, PGtips

At least you got to see your man today Prof. I'm going mad here!

Muddle, I know exactly what you mean about thinking about only one person that way. But, it is lovely and encouraging that a man has asked you out for a date and I think it would be a good thing to go. When the right time comes up I'll go out for a drink with music tech man (sounds like another super hero, ey Prof? ) but not in a romantic way.

We need to flex those dating muscles. I, for one, have been out of the loop for thirteen years, being married and all that.

I agree with ThisIs, PG. You really need to go for it, there's nothing to lose!

Yes, I'm feeling quite lucky at the minute because I'm seeing him daily even if it's for 30 seconds at a time! I'm just praying he comes out for a drink on the last day, a bit of Dutch courage and a more relaxed environment should work wonders.

I bet you're so fed up of waiting This, I hope they don't ring so you can go strutting in looking wonderful

I love these super hero names

BTW am I the only one who was chuckling about that poster yesterday evening asking what this thread was about? We are a bit lovely and weird, aren't we? Her question was a valid one!

Hi! Thanks for asking after me. In not v well. Aching, feeling nauseous and have hot water bottle in bed now. Have a pounding headache too. And kids not going to sleep. I need sleep!

Prof, I detect a pattern in my behaviour. I'm all holier than thou and preaching about patience and waiting and then it all gets too bloody much and I get an adrenalin rush and I go and do something brave.

I'm quaking with fear but have reached this decision with the whole weekend before me acting as a safety net.

Yes I had a little chuckle too, it has got a bit out of hand but that's the way we like it
It's a thread of endless ramblings about our super hero lovers.

Really though, how lovely would it be if we all ended up with our victims love interests?

A migraine apivita? Is so, they are the worst! Sleep is the only remedy. Lots of it. You poor thing. And it's even worse when the children are still up as you cannot switch off.

This and Prof, thank you for your encouragement. It's not the chat itself that I haev any doubts about - I did come up to him last time even though it as easy as everyone was sort of walking that way out, but still I ve grabbed the chance because normally I can't. I've also showed a lot of initiative on his social media as I mentioned. It's a question of not being able to come up like a normal person - but having to wait outside (who knows how long) in hope he comes out, and then sort of punce on him - and I hate doing that! very teenagery but also stalkery - it's only fine when the person actually really likes you. It will be obvious that I was on my own, hjanging around waiting - he will not think it's just a coincidence. So if he's on his own, he may have this panicked/displeased look - I can't predict it - so how do I save face then? Also if this happens and he makes excuses, I will feel very miserable afterwards. It it worth it? Ideally what I wanted to do is to suggest a quick drink if he has time, or just to walk together towards the tube - bu he needs to WANT that. I will call it a hugely positive result if we aer just friendly - I'm not going to pounce suggesting he dates me, I need to build up the friendliness first. So what do yo think?
I could just give up on this dodgy plan and either write to him again, or just decide to move on because it's not meant to be etc. But that's obviously not very joyous!

if I had a friend to wait with me, then it ould be a different story, but I can't, the one friend who knows about it is in a different city!

Are you doing this because you want closure or because you are hoping? You need to be clear, right? You make it sound as though it could be humiliating for you. Oh PGtips, are you sure that's how it would go down? Surely not?

I wish I could come with you. Honestly, really I do. When would it be?

Isn't there anyone who will be attending who could wait around to talk to you?
Any excuse you can think of to be hanging around?

Hopefully he will just come out at the same time as you and make it easier for you!

Also, I suppose we should start thinking of names for the next thread

Well, don't ask me Prof; I'm just a writer!

Seriously, I'll get thinking...

It was definitely aimed at you to try think of something, I'm trying my hardest and coming up with nothing

We need something encouraging, about us all going for it instead of my wishy washy original thread title!

I've had two glasses of red wine, Prof and I may need another one to get those creative juices going.

Now, if I could only get the image of Benoit out of my head. Seriously, that man is messing with my brain. Is that happening to you?

OP have you e mailed him yet? Just bite the bullet.
I've been in your shoes and recently discovered my long term crush is single.
I have sent a message to his work place.
Not heard anything but keeping everything crossed.
If it all goes tits up, it is forgotten in a moment.
I think you are hoping your crush will make the first move.
He's most likely a bit od a woos too.

It most definitely is This. I keep rethinking every word and every look he gives me.

Does he act this way with everyone?
Why does he act so differently with me to all the other teachers?
Has he noticed me lurking around trying to get him alone?

I keep feeling very lonely again too, I want to get things moving so badly but never get the chance. I'll be nervous but it needs to happen ASAP.

I keep feeling certain he'll say yes and be delighted, then I imagine the words of dread coming out of his mouth. "Sorry I have a girlfriend" or something that's clearly an excuse.

I can't email him Another, it'd be his work email which is definitely massively inappropriate.

I'm not waiting for him to ask, maybe a few small signs he's interested (which I'm fairly certain I'd get if we manage to be alone) then I'll swoop in and get him asked

AnotherPrick, yes, there are a lot of men who opt for not doing anything as they are terrified of the consequences of asking. And I really, truly believe their feelings can be legitimate despite this cowardly approach. Despite what many say, not all men rush after the thing or woman they want.

I don't so much feel lonely Prof as really frustrated that all this perfectly wonderful attraction might be going to waste instead of making two people happier, iyswim.

I couldn't agree more This, I find the ones that do go straight for you haven't always got the best intentions. Being reserved definitely isn't a bad sign, it could just show that your response matters enough to hold them back. We are all guilty of that!
If someone's after one thing they're just going to go for it as there's no emotional attachment involved I suppose!

I definitely hear where you're coming from This

If someone's after one thing they're just going to go for it as there's no emotional attachment involved I suppose!

Yes, that is a great way of putting it Prof! There's so much at stake.

I keep remembering the signs Benoit sent my way which I didn't reciprocate at the beginning and then afterwards he seemed so very careful with me, in his actions and words.

Of course there are times when I think, I've got this completely wrong. The guy is being careful because he doesn't want to give me the wrong idea!

Which doesn't make sense.

My friend, who had lunch with me today made a valid point. I said to her I was worried that he would be the adult in this situation and think it was pointless getting involved with me as there was not future. She retorted a little indignantly: 'on the contrary! Being the adult would mean carrying through after showing his interest instead of backing off.'