I'm about to lose my mind here. I think DH is going to leave me tonight..

[garlicbreathing]

DH has been uncharacteristically cold towards me for the past week or so. I had had a bad week as I had AF (we have been ttc for 16 months, and now under the care of the fertility clinic) and it pretty much devastated me. I had no sympathy from DH, we've barely spoke.
It's came to a head when I apologised on Friday, and I told him I was upset with his lack of affection, and he continues to be so cold. I questioned him about whether I did something, or if he is upset about something but he denied anything was wrong. I asked if he loves me, he said he did. He shrugged off cuddles on Saturday morning.

I gave him space yesterday, and slept in the spare room, but I woke up incredibly anxious about what is wrong so I sent him a text telling him that whatever it is, we must talk tonight. He responded in the afternoon, agreeing that we do need to talk.
I was a state in work, I generally always think the worst, so I asked him if it was serious, if he wants to leave me. All he has responded is that we will talk tonight. I asked to get away from work early as I was on the verge of tears, so now I'm sat at home waiting for him to arrive back.

I just don't know what to do. I think this might be the end of my world and I just don't know how I could continue to go on if this is actually happening to me. I hope and pray that it's to do with the ttc, and hes just wanting to take a break from it. But I think maybe it's just broke him and he doesn't love me anymore.

I, too, think this scenario hints at another woman in the picture. The coming home late part in particular - I could be wrong, but I would not readily believe it was with 'his friend' - more likely the OW, and he is insisting he will tell his wife 'tonight'...

Oh, yes, there will be dripfeeding. I have been there, all right.

Sorry Op, was hoping you were wrong. Unfortunately I think November is correct. Hope you can keep a clear head to ensure your own interests are properly looked after.

Sorry Op, was hoping you were wrong. Unfortunately I think November is correct. Hope you can keep a clear head to ensure your own interests are properly looked after.

Thank you all. I don't feel up to posting a lot tonight. I will update in the morning. I'm all over the place.

You don't owe us anything here. We will still be here tomorrow if you need or indeed want to talk.

Felicity's right. Share only if and what you want to. It's enough to know that you're safe and have the support of your mum.

Peace.

My heart sank for you. I'm really sorry

I think if you went home right now, you'd know...

I just knew it'd be this... Deep down... You poor poor love.

Take it easy right now with your mum concentrate on trying to get a good nights sleep do not go into work tomorrow (if you work) and just take it nice and slow.

Maybe going for a walk or drive with your mum would be nice or out for a coffee.

For what it's worth I think it's another woman... I'm not sure in your situation if you'd want to sort it out. I'm incredibly angry on your behalf not only because of what he's done but the way he's done it - boyfriends I've had issues with in the past if they were any sort of decent man, always tried to ring me or meet me rather than avoidance.

Take it easy big hugs and again. I'll reiterate what others say too, if things do go tits up and you're not with him you can find happiness without him, it may not seem this way now, but you really can be happy with someone else.

Felicity and Across I do feel this forum (especially re relationships) can be great for unbiased advice, getting ducks in a row, support etc.

It's so much easier sometimes to speak to strangers on the web who you don't know rather than the agony of a breakup playing out amongst everyone you know in real life. And with all their opinions on you and your partner. At least OP can come and go here as she pleases which is how it should be.

I think the worrying thing about relatives/friends etc is their advice can be very biased, harsh, too soft etc... I'm not saying relationships board members can't be the same but as LaConnerie et al say they've been through a lot and can give practical and other advice and support. All too often I find friends etc are "yes" people all too willing to take sides and say what each person really wants to hear... Which sometimes isn't the best to hear.

Take it really easy OP I am so so so sorry this has happened to you really I am.

Just to say, you don't have to post unless or until you feel ready. We will be here when you need us x

Nothing like pre-supposing and jumping the gun, is there? FFS give them chance to talk it through without the assumption that there's someone else. Sometimes there isn't.

Op, just double check before anything else whether the fundamentals of this issue are about IVF. He might have changed his mind and lost his way, but if he's open and honest about it, it at least gives you the chance to decide whether to stay with him. If it's the end of the world to you the you need to move on but if not, then there's hope that you can find a resolution. People react oddly to major changes in life and TTC/IVF and feel it's the end of life as they know it. Anyone can get cold feet and panicky. Honest.

So sorry love, I'd hug you if I could

So sorry. Hope you manage to get some rest tonight. He's an arse.

Hugs from me too x

Hugs this post is so sad but you will heal in time xxx

I hope you get some sleep tonight!!

Everyone's here when you need us.

Hope things seem a bit clearer in the morning. Don't chase him. Let him contact you.

My thoughts are with you garlic x

OFFS Op, unless he said something else to make you think he's been cheating then don't take everyone else's comments to heart. It may NOT be the case and he may well be playing games - either way it's hard but please don't write off your marriage on the basis of this thread.

TALK to him. It's not just about tonight; it goes much deeper, but keep an open mind. But I agree that you should appear to be chasing him or be a push-over. Make him work for you, unless you've been really shitty to him, in which case give him some lee-way.

Tatty, this is one of those times you really should have RTFT

Tatty You have your advice and others have theirs.

AnyFucker - I think some people, due to religious or other beliefs believe in preserving the marriage at all costs. What the poster TattyCat doesn't seem to realise is that the husband has taken this choice out of the OP's hands. If it were me in the situation, I would find their posts distressing. But, I don't recognise the poster, so I don't know really.

I am very very sorry to hear it gb. Give yourself plenty of time to absorb the shock, don't feel you have to do anything quickly.