Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm about to lose my mind here. I think DH is going to leave me tonight..

995 replies

garlicbreathing · 25/04/2016 16:35

DH has been uncharacteristically cold towards me for the past week or so. I had had a bad week as I had AF (we have been ttc for 16 months, and now under the care of the fertility clinic) and it pretty much devastated me. I had no sympathy from DH, we've barely spoke.
It's came to a head when I apologised on Friday, and I told him I was upset with his lack of affection, and he continues to be so cold. I questioned him about whether I did something, or if he is upset about something but he denied anything was wrong. I asked if he loves me, he said he did. He shrugged off cuddles on Saturday morning.

I gave him space yesterday, and slept in the spare room, but I woke up incredibly anxious about what is wrong so I sent him a text telling him that whatever it is, we must talk tonight. He responded in the afternoon, agreeing that we do need to talk.
I was a state in work, I generally always think the worst, so I asked him if it was serious, if he wants to leave me. All he has responded is that we will talk tonight. I asked to get away from work early as I was on the verge of tears, so now I'm sat at home waiting for him to arrive back.

I just don't know what to do. I think this might be the end of my world and I just don't know how I could continue to go on if this is actually happening to me. I hope and pray that it's to do with the ttc, and hes just wanting to take a break from it. But I think maybe it's just broke him and he doesn't love me anymore.

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 25/04/2016 20:25

I'm sorry Garlic.

Shayelle · 25/04/2016 20:25

Wishing you strength to deal with this xx

AStreetcarNamedBob · 25/04/2016 20:25

So sorry 😢 I hope that after a little space and thinking you can sort things out xx

FatPaul · 25/04/2016 20:26

I am sorry to hear this.

If you don't mind me saying, this all seems to have happened rather quickly.

SharkSkinThing · 25/04/2016 20:29

I'm so sorry to hear your news.

Let your Mum look after you tonight, then get your house in order tomorrow. It will be tough and emotional, but it will be the most sensible thing you can do. Make a list and take a friend, write off the rest of the week to get sorted.

Enormous hugs, love.

RiverWhy · 25/04/2016 20:31

sorry to hear the outcome of this, but your gut feeling was right. . he is unhappy and has been for along time but you were ttc! he need challenging on this!

WhatsGoingOnEh · 25/04/2016 20:32

Oh no! I'm so sorry. I know a friend this happened to. She was TTC with her partner and nothing happened for ages, then she had a MC. They split up soon afterwards.

Two years later, she is married to someone approx 1 billion times lovelier, and Mum to a whopping, gorgeous baby son.

RiverWhy · 25/04/2016 20:35

rereading your first post, he has been cold, no sympathy with fertility, let you sleep elsewhere. could there be ow. His, ive been unhappy for a long time smacks of the script.

FelicityR313 · 25/04/2016 20:36

Ah loveen. Flowers

I'm so sorry that you're suffering now. Have lots of Mummy hugs and cuddles and wine and a big big cry to let the emotion out.

The prick. [anger]

StuffandBother · 25/04/2016 20:37

He sounds a twat, even if he isn't and he's a perfectly nice bloke ... He's a twat because we're on your side! Thanks

NNalreadyinuse · 25/04/2016 20:37

I know that now isn't the best time but my advice is to deal with the practical stuff, protecting your finances etc. I don't want to upset you more but I really wouldn't be surprised if there was more to be revealed by him. You don't want to leave him unhindered access to your money etc.

It is very very hard to get your head around, but you can't trust him to do what is in your best interests any more. He is not the man you married - he is showing you how cold he can be. Look after yourself x

WellieWanger · 25/04/2016 20:38

Whilst I agree that your husband sounds like a bit of a selfish douche, he is your selfish douche and I really understand your heartache. So sorry garlic. Whilst he is unhappy and it seems terrible now, this doesn't have to be the end. The elephant in the room has finally been uncovered and there is every possibility that you can turn this around if you both want to. I'm pleased you have family to go to. Sending you loves, bless you.xx

loveliesbleeding1 · 25/04/2016 20:38

I am sorry to hear you were right,I'd so hoped you were wrong x

Lunar1 · 25/04/2016 20:38

I'm really sorry. Glad you have your mum for support.

Lolabels · 25/04/2016 20:39

If he's ttc but unhappy for a long time. Just shows his true colours. Better off without. You'll get through it Cake Flowers Wine Chocolate and be stronger the other side!
Glad you're with your mum, hugs x

Lunar1 · 25/04/2016 20:39

I'm really sorry. Glad you have your mum for support.

DogMa1 · 25/04/2016 20:39

Garlic, it may feel like it but this is not the end of the world. A lot of us have been there, done it and survived. Being on your own is better than being in a marriage where you are not loved! However nothing I say will stop the pain you are feeling now so hugs and caring thoughts coming your way.

StuRedman · 25/04/2016 20:39

Be prepared for there to be another woman. I'm so sorry, what a shitcunt he is.

juststoppit · 25/04/2016 20:41

Oh crap, sorry to hear that. Flowers

Rainbowlou1 · 25/04/2016 20:44

I was really hoping to come back here and you not say it was this.
I'm so so sorry and hope you get some answers tomorrow Flowers

ChocolateStash · 25/04/2016 20:45

I would put ttc on hold and work on getting your relationship back on track first Flowers

FelicityR313 · 25/04/2016 20:47

I'm here giving out to DH about 'this fucking prick'. He agrees. He's a prick.

Arsehole. Sorry, your DH has triggered turrets in me. I'm so sorry. I know the pain of heartache. Fucking prick could have at least had the balls to tell you rather than torturing you for over a week. Prick. Cunthead.

Superwitchy · 25/04/2016 20:47

Sorry Garlic, I know you'll be upset and hurt. Try to let your mum look after you. You'll come through this Flowers He's been cruel in his handling of this, I hope he behaves better now he's told you how he feels.

mummaAJL · 25/04/2016 20:47

Aww hunny :-( What did he actually say? Did he say it's over ? Or is he willing to work on things ? X

MrsOs · 25/04/2016 20:48

I'm really sorry this has happened, he sounds like an arse! You deserve better!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread