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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm about to lose my mind here. I think DH is going to leave me tonight..

995 replies

garlicbreathing · 25/04/2016 16:35

DH has been uncharacteristically cold towards me for the past week or so. I had had a bad week as I had AF (we have been ttc for 16 months, and now under the care of the fertility clinic) and it pretty much devastated me. I had no sympathy from DH, we've barely spoke.
It's came to a head when I apologised on Friday, and I told him I was upset with his lack of affection, and he continues to be so cold. I questioned him about whether I did something, or if he is upset about something but he denied anything was wrong. I asked if he loves me, he said he did. He shrugged off cuddles on Saturday morning.

I gave him space yesterday, and slept in the spare room, but I woke up incredibly anxious about what is wrong so I sent him a text telling him that whatever it is, we must talk tonight. He responded in the afternoon, agreeing that we do need to talk.
I was a state in work, I generally always think the worst, so I asked him if it was serious, if he wants to leave me. All he has responded is that we will talk tonight. I asked to get away from work early as I was on the verge of tears, so now I'm sat at home waiting for him to arrive back.

I just don't know what to do. I think this might be the end of my world and I just don't know how I could continue to go on if this is actually happening to me. I hope and pray that it's to do with the ttc, and hes just wanting to take a break from it. But I think maybe it's just broke him and he doesn't love me anymore.

OP posts:
supergran231158 · 25/04/2016 20:13

Your mum will look after you. Hope you manage to sleep lovely, hugs. X

Sallycinnamum · 25/04/2016 20:13

Oh no. I've been lurking on this thread and hoped all would be OK. Thinking of you OP.

Esmeismyhero · 25/04/2016 20:13

Garlic flowers for you, stay strong lovely X X x

Pipsqueak23 · 25/04/2016 20:14
Flowers
Peppaismyhomegirl · 25/04/2016 20:14

I'm sorry garlic.
You done want to hear it right now, but this happened to me. It was the best thing that has ever happened as I found someone who was happy to be with me and our life is wonderful.

Look after yourself. It will all be ok in the long run

MorrisZapp · 25/04/2016 20:14

Oh no, I'm sorry. Be kind to yourself.

lougle · 25/04/2016 20:15

Sorry Garlic. Hang in there and see what happens over the next few days.

jellycat1 · 25/04/2016 20:15

ThanksWine

SnoozeButtonAbuser · 25/04/2016 20:15

Poor you OP. You know, "I haven't been happy for a long time" is sometimes code for "I've been having an affair and I'd like to make out it's your fault". He was very cruel to you today. I'm sorry you're sad now but I don't think this guy is as great as you think he is he's a cock.

AnyFucker · 25/04/2016 20:15

I am very sorry x

Be prepared for more revelations, love. Let your mum take care of you Thanks

HeffalumpHistory · 25/04/2016 20:16

I'm so sorry to hear that op Flowers
Glad you have your mum tonight, hope you manage a sleep

fastdaytears · 25/04/2016 20:17

This happened to me OP. No fertility treatment but the night before we were buying a house. I hope it doesn't turn out the same way for you, but I went straight home to my mum's too and she was amazing. This thread has brought it all back. Horrible, horrible feeling and I'm so sorry it's been so bad for you. Hoping for better tomorrow (though not sure he deserves you in the slightest). Chocolate

ohtheholidays · 25/04/2016 20:18

I'm sorry OP,he has acted like a complete and utter shit bag.
You don't leave someone hanging like that and then sod off to talk about a stag night instead of talking to your wife who is at home upset and worrying.

Try not to chase after him OP,try not to send message after message or ring him alot or drop everything for him.I know it's really hard but he needs to see that your okay,he needs to know that you can't treat someone like this.

RaeSkywalker · 25/04/2016 20:18

So sorry to hear this garlic. I'm glad that you're with your Mum Flowers

jbee1979 · 25/04/2016 20:19

I'm sorry Flowers I hope tomorrow gives you more clarity. having a baby really tests a relationship - the whole thing, TTC if you're having issues and when baby arrives. If he's not cut out for it, it's better he's honest now. He could have done so earlier mind, and not made you feel like crap for a week Flowers

Alisvolatpropiis · 25/04/2016 20:19

I'm really sorry, genuinely didn't think that was going to be the outcome.

Look after yourself Flowers

NotQuiteJustYet · 25/04/2016 20:19

Oh Garlic sorry to hear that. Let you mum take care of you and look after yourself. I know it's cold comfort right now but at least it's happened now and not further down the line. Flowers

Pigeonpost · 25/04/2016 20:20

Oh I'm sorry. What a shitbag. Flowers.

WellErrr · 25/04/2016 20:20
Flowers
Toast3 · 25/04/2016 20:20

So sorry OP - hopefully you can find a way through!

lolo14 · 25/04/2016 20:21

Sorry to hear that Sad you'll get through this X

DarthPrincess · 25/04/2016 20:22

It gets better (honestly) I was married and didn't even get to the second wedding anniversary , out of the blue he asked for a divorce. We hadn't had a single argument. He went cold a week before he asked me to leave - separate beds etc. My bubble was popped but somehow found the courage to keep it together - I now have the most amazing partner - this is just your beginning garlic Flowers even if your heart is breaking right now you will get through it I promise

PeppaIsMyHero · 25/04/2016 20:22

Wishing you good times ahead. x

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 25/04/2016 20:22

💐

I'm sorry he's been so fucking predictable. As others have said, he's set the scene so you blame yourself. Don't. He won't have been seeing anyone else either 🙄 I'd put the house on him having been talking to her tonight, not this mate. I'm so sorry he's done this to you. It's going to be very hard, and you won't believe this right now, but in time you will be fine, better than fine.

MGC1986 · 25/04/2016 20:24

I'm really sorry garlic. Go to your mum's and let her look after you. But if the separation continues I'd be making him leave your home.