DH is odd mood, concerned

[cresta]

I am a mixture between worried and very angry. The alarm went off at 7am this morning, I started to shuffle around etc, looked over to DH who was wide awake, the alarm is at his side so I asked him to turn off the alarm, he said "no, you do it" .

So I turned off the alarm (bit stroppy by this point) and said I was making a cuppa, did he want one...he said "no".

So I went downstairs, made a drink, made the kids breakfast, it was getting on for 7:30 so I went upstairs and asked DH if he was getting up for work, he said "no". I went back to get the kids ready for school, 8am still no sign of DH, I went back upstairs to see him lying there still wide awake! I told him he was going to be late for work and he replied "no I wont, I'm not going". I asked if he was ill and he just said "no". I was getting really wound up by this point so went back to the kids, shouted to DH that we were leaving for school and got no reply .

So anyway, I got back in the house around 10:30 and DH is sat watching tv, I asked if he'd phoned work and he said "No", I asked him what the hell was wrong and he told me to fuck off and leave him alone! . Anyway since then he's been much the same all day, the only words he's speaking are "no" and "fuck off". I don't understand, we've had no arguments, everything was fine last night, just this morning he's a completely different person, he's NEVER acted like this before.

Is he looking for attention or what??

is he stressed out with work? is he depressd?

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No he's been absolutely fine, we were laughing and joking last night, we've been planning a holiday to disney paris, its just today its like another person has taken over his body, its very strange, he's not answering his phone or anything.

I never thought about him being sacked...surely he would've said last night or at least acted wierd last night too?

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Do you talk in your sleep? could you have said something that has upset him/made him think you're having an affair or something? (not for one minute suggesting you are.

I'd be tempted to tell him to go out and come back when he can speak reasonably to me.

I don't want to concern you overly but my dad behaved a little like this once - he had memory loss too, but otherwise was very much as you describe your dh.

He had had a small stroke - from which he recovered very quickly. But it did affect his behaviour in the way you describe.

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Yep

How old are your children? How long have you been together? Has he said anything lately that struck you as odd for him and might indicate depression or mental illness of some kind?

Is his job very stressful/lots of responsible? Could something have happened/could he have messed up in some way and blocked it out for a few hours?

Somehow you need to get more information out of him - I understand he's not made that easy, but that's the only way you can know how to proceed after that.

Sorry, I'm stating the obvious a bit here. Hope he comes round.

Have you phoned his work to find out if anything has happened there. Does he have any close family or friends that you can speak to?

I would also call a doctor. My first thoughts were depression or a small stroke, but I hope it's not as serious as that. It could just be that's he's in a bad mood.

Try not to be angry with him, I don't think that will help.

No advice here but hoping things sort out soon. This must be really painful, take care of yourself.

did he have a phone call or email before bed that might have upset him, and he's stewed over it overnight?

Cresta, I hope you manage to get him some help quickly.
Does he normally use swear words like this?
If he is literally just saying No and Fuck Off, then something is definitely wrong - physically or psychologically.
Agree with the others - get him to a doctor. If he is uncooperative or abusive, call for help. Poor you and poor him.

Cresta, is this the same guy who you posted about a few months ago - the kickboxer with the strange mood-swings who would be violent with you and then say it was because he was training?

Someone on that thread suggested he may be on drugs, and this behaviour may indicate the same thing.

that sounds very weird, I have to say I did initially wonder about him being sacked as well but small stroke or similar is not beyond the relms of possibility either. I would ask your dh outright what's wrong, and if he's still not forthcoming I would ring your surgery and ask to speak to a gp urgently as you are very concerned. Get a doctor to come out if possible.

keep us updated x l

tell him you are worried about him - you aren't going to nag or whatever - but that you think he is acting very oddly and he needs to talk to you - to let you know what is going on and what if anythign you can do to help.

He does usually swear but something seems different, he seems really distant, he was sat watching tv earlier but he was watching day time "women's programs" as he usually calls them, not actually watching them I don't think, just staring at the screen.

As far as I can remember he's not used any other words today other than no and fuck off...oh and "you do it" with regards to the alarm. He stared at me a few times but not said anything, I passed him the phone earlier and told him to phone work and call in sick and he just left it where it landed on his knee and then started laughing .

I think he may have OCD (completely unrelated to this I know) but as far as I know that's the only mental illness that has been apparant with him...

I don't think he got up during the night and we were laid in bed talking etc before we went to sleep so if anything had happened it must've happened after I'd fallen asleep...if he's gotten up to check email or something.

I remember that thread! The way he was treating you (that was you wasn't it cresta? Isn't Cresta a different name to your usual one?).. was awful.. I actually can't believe you're still with him. Taking this previous stuff into account I would suggest a drugs issue too... although, without knowing how he has been in between times, perhaps he is just an arse!! (sorry!)

wigwambam - yes, same DH - and the kickboxing is still a problem but thats a whole new thread.

call doctor - sounds like hes had a breakdown.

It's a whole new thread, Cresta, but I think it's relevant to this situation, don't you reckon? It's either more behaviour designed to control you, or it's possibly something to do with drugs - there was some suspicion he was taking them before, yes?

odd, unpredictable behaviour from someone with a history of aggression - please be careful and put your safety first

I have had a couple of ex's with mental illnesses and tbh it's difficult to tell the difference between mental health issues and just being an arse. I agree that you need some sort of professional help, doctor I guess, especially if he has a history of violence. You could warn him first that this is what you are going to do because he is behaving strangely. What about when the kids come home? This is no way for them to see him behave. Can you go somewhere temporarily (I know you shouldn't have to...) or can he? I feel for you - this sounds horrible.