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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

DH is odd mood, concerned

146 replies

cresta · 10/01/2007 13:10

I am a mixture between worried and very angry. The alarm went off at 7am this morning, I started to shuffle around etc, looked over to DH who was wide awake, the alarm is at his side so I asked him to turn off the alarm, he said "no, you do it" .

So I turned off the alarm (bit stroppy by this point) and said I was making a cuppa, did he want one...he said "no".

So I went downstairs, made a drink, made the kids breakfast, it was getting on for 7:30 so I went upstairs and asked DH if he was getting up for work, he said "no". I went back to get the kids ready for school, 8am still no sign of DH, I went back upstairs to see him lying there still wide awake! I told him he was going to be late for work and he replied "no I wont, I'm not going". I asked if he was ill and he just said "no". I was getting really wound up by this point so went back to the kids, shouted to DH that we were leaving for school and got no reply .

So anyway, I got back in the house around 10:30 and DH is sat watching tv, I asked if he'd phoned work and he said "No", I asked him what the hell was wrong and he told me to fuck off and leave him alone! . Anyway since then he's been much the same all day, the only words he's speaking are "no" and "fuck off". I don't understand, we've had no arguments, everything was fine last night, just this morning he's a completely different person, he's NEVER acted like this before.

Is he looking for attention or what??

OP posts:

quanglewangle · 11/01/2007 16:32

I would put it a bit more gently than saying head in the sand.
What you are trying to do is interpret his behaviour in rational terms and succeeding to some extent. Each oddity can be played down to be no more than slightly odd.

But even if that is the case, just look at the sum of what it all adds up to. The whole picture is very abnormal. You need to get the ball rolling by talking to someone yourself. They may have some strategies for dealing with him even if you don't manage to get direct action.

FloatingOnTheMed · 11/01/2007 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zippitippitoes · 11/01/2007 18:22

I apologise for sounding grumpy.

It is really just as important to have medical help as with a physical illness and in the same way the sooner he is diagnosed/seen/treated/helped the better.

Califrau · 11/01/2007 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

popsycal · 11/01/2007 18:28

please please ring your gp now

not going into details but he needs to be seen now
you and the kids could be in danger
please

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 11/01/2007 18:34

Cresta none of this behaviour is normal. It does sound like some kind of psychosis or mental illness of some sort. You need to ring your gp, guessing it will be out of hours now so ring the emergency number, tell them you think your dh is having a breakdown of some sort and tell them about the incidents with the mousetraps and the fire etc. Tell them you?re afraid for yours and your childrens? safety and need someone to come out right now.

I know that you don?t want to believe that it could be something this serious, but please think about it. Right now it?s mice that are the enemy and he needs to guard against those, what happens if you, or one of the children poses a threat to him (in his mind) what lengths might he go to to protect himself against you.

Get help, and do it now.

tigermoth · 11/01/2007 19:53

cresta, I hope you make that call.

I am worried about you and your children living with a strong man who is paranoid and has a short temper as well as all the other stuff you've said. I know you fear the repercussions of him knowing you have contacted your GP. You need to find out what the process is, what protection is given to you.

On a practical note, in your situation right now I would look round the home and assess the risks - easily flammable things, matches, poison, sharp or heavy things that your dh could use to injure you, your children, your home or himself. I know you cannot anticipate everything, but don't leave dangerous stuff lying about. Hide it or throw it away, carefully check your dh's possessions for anything that is new and threatening, get a fire extinguisher if you do not have one. Have your mobile phone near you and charged up at all times. Visualise how you and the children would escape quickly and how you could in any way hit back and physically protect yourselves if you had to.

Your council may be able to give you an emergency alarm button to summon help - you can wear it or hide it somewhere safe. Something to ask about when you speak to your GP or whatever local support organisation you contact.

None of this advice is as good as contacting a professional about your dh, though. That is the main thing to do now.

BlueDaisy · 12/01/2007 12:58

Hows things Cresta?

ClosetSlob · 12/01/2007 16:25

Hi Cresta, any update?

themildmanneredjanitor · 12/01/2007 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bluesky · 13/01/2007 13:19

Interesting article in February Good Housekeeping, a mother writing about her son.

He gave up his job for no reason, (ages about 21) he then confided he'd seen Hitler and then believed that the cartoon character Scooby Doo was real. He became obsessed with washing his hands. Mother was concerned but he said he didn't need the Doctor and was adamant there was nothing wrong with him.

Anyway he was diagnosed with something similar to schizophrebia ........... anyway 2 pages of article later, he's in prison, he murdered a 79 yr old woman after getting in a rage.

catsmutha · 16/01/2007 00:31

What happened Cresta? Did you get help? I'm a bit concerned that this thread has stopped..

Anniegetyourgun · 16/01/2007 08:51

She may have had to move suddenly and not have access to a computer.

NurseyJo · 17/01/2007 00:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NotQuiteCockney · 17/01/2007 10:42

I'd like to see an update here, too.

BlueDaisy · 17/01/2007 11:30

Hope it isn't a case of that she hasn't done anything about it and shes put off posting because everyone will have a go at her.....

Marina · 17/01/2007 11:34

Have been wondering how you are too Cresta - hope you are OK.

bluesky · 18/01/2007 17:55

How old are cresta's children?

Story in the paper today, of a dad disappearing with his 2 children, but did drop the school one off, but is missing with the toddler.

Awful! But I read it and thought of Cresta.

Cresta, we really need an update to know that you are OK.

wheresthevalium · 25/01/2007 11:05

Worried bump

Heathcliffscathy · 25/01/2007 11:20

cresta your husband is having a mental breakdown. He is increasingly suffering hallucinations and paranoia. For his sake, for your sake and above all for your childrens' sakes please get your mental health team involved. now.

Make a call, describe his behaviour to someone, let them make the decision as to whether they need to come out or not...just tell them what you've posted here.

jenwa · 27/01/2007 09:34

Wonder if she ok?

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