Let's Get Ready! It's Dating Thread 103

[DrFoxtrot]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Oh! :) I thought it was going to be something dead philosophical....

with bacon I think it's a combination of awkwardness + opening up + space + early in the relationship = ARGH

Yes, me too. Added to that me being every so slightly needy on Sunday, just because I felt him pulling away already. Also, there's the fact he kind of assumed that I was around this weekend, and I also think he's a bit jealous of my family and friends network as he is quite lonely. So yeah, lots going on and I can kind of see why he pulled back (the being busy at work may also be a factor). It's just if he comes back from this and in what manner.

Roland I have no idea what he was up to this weekend. He vaguely mentioned going home to see family but then said he wouldn't. I really didn't expect to hear from him at all over the weekend. He knew I was away and on Friday we did the "Have a great weekend!" thing that felt like we were signing off for a couple of days. My paranoid brain says he's hooked up with an old iron for Sat night as he was online for lots of Saturday on and off but he could have just as easily have been making plans to see a mate etc etc.

Anyway, I am actually feeling OK just now, having a nice chilled out morning hanging with DS (who is a bloody superstar, so proud of that boy!) and doing lots of counting of blessings.

314 Loving the drunk texting last night. Glad you had a good time! I share Handy's concerns that he could turn into another Bear but you are aware of that....Will you see him again, do you think?

Ocelot I really don't think anyone is trying to censor you. You had a problem with what Bant said, you said so, it's been discussed but probably best to just leave it now? FWIW, I did a bit of an intake of breath when I read Bant's post but then turned it round and realised that if it was a woman saying that about a man, I'd have no problem with it.

Handy Hope the run sorts out the head! And aw to missing Twixipoo

Jolly How are you doing this morning? Any more from Karmic?

Freaky don't worry, I would never feel that way about this guy! never. I don't want to see him again. But if I crossed paths with him in real life it'd be easy. He's not uptight or shy. But there'd be no danger of me ever feeling anything like I felt for Bear for this guy.

I will be far too boring for this thread because I am deciding here, manifesto style, with my clipboard, pen, and sensible head on me that I only want to date men 42-51 and preferably with kids. I will check my inboxes later and there will be messages from men in their 20s and 30s but very few from men in their 40s. I do feel more confident after the date with yerman last night though. He'll be fine, he's young. He got a kiss! He only paid for 50% of the drinks, and he was late fgs. I'm not feeling sorry for him! Good bye and good luck with women closer to your own age would be my last message to him I think!

I'm not reading my whatsapp messages for an hour or so. Cool his jets a bit. Because I have already told him straight. This is not a thing.

oh dear. he wants to know why i'm being weird. so i just whatsapped back to say that I'm not being weird but he knows this is not a thing .

and he says...... {wait}

he says.. "what's wrong with having a bit of fun?"
so i say ''it wouldn't be fun for me"

Too harsh?
I need to wind it down. There is no 'it'.

phew. phone is quiet now........................

{silence}

Hmmm, he's getting a bit pushy now 314, not sure if I like that...

Morning everyone
Supposed to be on date 2 today with marvel iron going to the cinema and after both of us texting all week like crazy he has gone quiet. I messaged him yesterday to ask how his day was but it wasnt till late as i actually ended up in bed ill and had no response.

Freaky, he came back with 'ok' and I sense that he's pouting. But he can POUT AWAY because I did nothing to give him the impression that we were any kind of thing, in fact it was a joke between us that I KEPT spelling that out!

Guy I've got cinema date with soon randomly stopped chatting early evening yesterday. The messaged me at midnight to ask how my evening was going. I replied but he didn't read it. He read it this morning but hasn't bothered to continue the convo. Now - what is the best course of action here? Is it his turn to chat? Should I wait? Or should I just message him when I have time for a chat? I hate the rules of texting and etc......
I'm renowned for messaging ALOT and I don't want to keep making mistakes. I often continue to text people over the course of a day regardless of whether they reply. I guess sometimes that can come off irritating or needy. Although I tend to take it as flattering and friendly. What's everyone's take?

Traffic do NOT text him. Let him do the work.

Freaky I'm so annoyed at Bacon. There's definitely something up.

Argh so I miss MrFit but that's it I'm done! Too many excuses for missing dates so yesterday was the last straw.

In the meantime real life guy who I don't fancy has now found me on POF and sent a whole 'fancy bumping into you here' thing. Why can't men who I actually fancy chase me down this way??

314 are you sure about the 29 year old?
He sounds great. 16 years is nowt.

Anna! no. The 29 year old is history now. Bear is History. H is history. Mr Canceller is history. I need new irons and they have to be roughly my age!

314 you MUST be some hot totty to be bagging all this attention from younger men. Do you post on the fb group? I'd like to see your irons!!

Right, enough dating the thread. I'll check out that inbox on okcupid now. I disabled POF for a while (after seeing that Bear was ''looking for a relationship'' )

Ok. No Americans, so the filter is working now, I think.
I replied to one guy who seems very confident. Scarily so? (no, fuck it, I'm confident too.)
and another who is easy to chat to and nice looking but I am smelling married man. Not sure. He works in my city during the week and lives in x city at the weekend. I sent a message to him last night thinking if I don't hear from him til Monday I'll knnow he's married but he has responded. I'm not sure though, easy to respond on your phone from the loo.

I've had an old iron get back in touch after a few weeks (we never met, just chatted and texted, then he disappeared and I didn't pursue), so now I'm asking him why he went quiet. Turns out it was practicalities, distance, busy lives etc, he felt it wouldn't work. Nice of him to tell me at the time eh!! I think he may regretting it now.

omg

"how are you doing? you are a pretty sweet mama jammer , nice foto,"

Jolly, yeh, would have been nicer to know it was only practicalities three weeks ago! Would you give him another chance?

Yes 314 I would if I hadn't started seeing someone else who I'm pretty smitten with. But it's bizarre isn't it - if I'd been keen on him I'd have been tying myself in knots over why he'd gone quiet, reading and re-reading our messages, wondering where I'd gone wrong. And all the while it was just him wondering if we lived too far apart, and if he'd only said that then I would have known!

"Sweet mama jamma" hilarious!!

Simmer him jolly!

Who knows what's round the corner.

I was looking at the profile of the man who sent good /funny messages but he is 52 and he will only date women 30-45 so I'm only just inside his range so a woman seven years younger than him is the oldest he'd date. And there I am thinking he's the top end of my range. But he is still the one who is seven years older than me. Offs. Men. He may not reply.

Traffic I don't think it means you're hot getting attention from younger men.

I think a lot of younger men are so ignorant about women and life that they believe that older = desperate. like, it's their own low self-esteem, they think they might have a shot with a woman that nobody wants. They have hardly left their bedroom in their mum and dad's house and they don't know that older means lessons learnt, heard it all before, not born yesterday. Mind you, the man I dated last night says he prefers older women, I believe him. I was an extreme thoguh.

Yeah, I have had lots of messages from guys in their early 20s and the subtext (or even not so sub...) is that as a single mum in her late 30s, I should be grateful for the attention from the young stud and immediately be dropping my knockers....

Hahah! *knickers!

I'd assumed the kids were Mil*n and Ken*l...