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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Let's Get Ready! It's Dating Thread 103

999 replies

DrFoxtrot · 19/04/2016 23:23

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.
OP posts:
TooSassy · 01/05/2016 17:24

Hi all.

Crying laughing at what would sassy do? Seriously? I've cleared my bench of irons. I'd think twice before taking my advice. Grin

bant do not skip captain America! The film is epic. Please report back on whether you are team stark or team Capt.!

314 nope not at all. Just don't go falling for him would be my advice. mrfrench is in his late twenties, hence not at all long term material. But totally worth something light hearted if it happens. I have zero intention of falling for him/ messaging him regularly etc.

purple that is rude. Did he give a reason?

Welcome crochet

reddish what's the latest with your situation? Yes of course I can be in your ear. Ala Gerard butler in the Ugly Truth. Love that film!

laugh great article. I have a dare from my friends to simper on a date because they think I come across as too strong. They don't think I can do it. Little do they know. I just need to pick the target of said simpering. I'm never finding a relationship at this rate, having way too much fun experimenting.

freaky keep us to to date with messaging with bacon.

My RL iron from the conference has replied to one of my tweets this afternoon. Most excellent.

TooSassy · 01/05/2016 17:27

314 ahhhh depends on the woman. I booked tix months ago to watch it in the IMAX at Waterloo as soon as it opened. Plan to watch it again next weekend. I LOVE the marvel movies.
But if you're not an avengers fan, you won't understand most of the movie it has to be said.

TrafficJunkie · 01/05/2016 17:41

I've just got another date planned!! Cinema and drinks in a couple of weeks with a guy from Tinder. I'm going to call him Gold.
And I'm chatting with another guy I met on Tinder who I will call Jaws. He is keen but keeps bemoaning how far away I live. In reality it's an hour and a half drive - does anyone think that's quite far? I suppose it is

TrafficJunkie · 01/05/2016 17:43

bant I'd be happy going to see captain America. I like cinema as a first date with a couple of drinks as well. Gives something to talk about either before or after and relieves the pressure 😊

TrafficJunkie · 01/05/2016 17:44

freaky this bacon business seems complex indeed! What is the low down, in one post if you don't mind? I'm getting drips but it's impossible to keep up with this thread!

TrafficJunkie · 01/05/2016 17:47

Oh....meeting blokes on instagram!!! Well, I like to follow local people as well as random people. He has a cool job that I find interesting and (it's hard not to give myself away here and him so it's going to be vague) one day he had some spares of things he uses in his job that he thought I may like based on my instagram photos. So I went to pick them up! Then yesterday I decided I'd DM him and ask if he'd like a drink!! He was all casual about it so I don't know how interested he is tbh. But we will see.

Bant · 01/05/2016 18:00

It is very, very wrong of me to text tonight's date to tell her I'm on the train, and then ask her apropos of nothing how she feels about one legged midgets, isn't it?

314pDream · 01/05/2016 18:05

Ok!!
I like normal films. The Danish Girl. The Big Short. That kind of good film!! ;-)

Crochetcrazyjampots · 01/05/2016 19:03

I like the idea of mixing the two of them paint ! And maybe I need to check out safehands (ahem) , maybe less quiet and polite in the those circumstances. Quite frankly I am slightly flattered to have a choice at my age but I just know I'm going to slip up with whatsapp one of these days. I am drawn to alpha go getters (hotshot) but I am also mindful that if that approach had worked in the past I wouldn't be dating again would I .... Perhaps I need to be more open to other types. Phew tricky this dating business eh. Thanks for listening !

314pDream · 01/05/2016 19:23

Prefer free spitits and that has me perpetually single. Nearly in town now. At 7.13 he texyed to say "yo! R we still on"
I replied "im en route dont be late"

Im going to be pissed by the time he arrives

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 01/05/2016 19:31

Oh, it's not that complex really, despite my endless angsting and over-analysing...

So, we've had 3 dates on 3 subsequent Saturdays. First and second dates were amazing, really couldn't have gone much better. Consistent messaging in between as well as a couple of phone calls. He's Irish and very charming and our style was very bantery, affectionate and flirty. We had a chat before 3rd date and agreed that neither of us was seeing/talking to anyone else. On 3rd date, he stayed at my house and we DTD (badly). He stayed until Sunday afternoon. I told him that I couldn't see him this weekend as I was away with family and we agreed to meet up next Sat.

Since then, his messaging has been totally different. No banter, no affection, no flirts, just basic friendly stuff. And less messages in general, taking ages to respond so we've not really been able to chat.

That's it really! There is a little more back story about why I am so angsty and overinvested but that's the bare bones.

The angst of this week has been all about how I deal with it, i.e. call him on it or wait until Sat when we can do it face to face.

I sent him the breezy (I am beginning to fucking hate that word, by the way!) "I had a fab weekend, how was yours?" message about an hour ago. Two grey ticks, so we'll see...

Yes Sassy seriously! You have no irons cos you binned them all for being rubbish. You're in control! And your post sums up exactly what my mindset needs to be when I talk to him, that's what I need to remember. Maybe, "what would the thread do/say?" would be more appropriate.

Bant Good luck on your date! Did you send the one legged midget text? I would find that funny! I'd also really like to see the new Capt America movie. Love me some Capt America.

314 I don't think you are out of your mind, no! You both know where you stand, why not meet him for a chat? Have fun!

TrafficJunkie · 01/05/2016 19:57

Have fun bant!! Let us know how it goes 😊😊

MrsRolandRat · 01/05/2016 20:40

Traffic I've pm'd you again.

I loved The Danish Girl, however I'm not a cinema fan and it wouldn't be my choice for a date.

I hope you get a swift response freaky gawd damn what's app, I loathe the bloody thing.

I have a iron MrNavy we shall call him. He's hot but 6 years my junior at just 31 Blush he viewed me on pof but didn't message me. I never send the first message, but I just thought sod it and did. He responded pretty much straight away, a few messages in offered me his number, anyway now texting. And he can spell holy shit he's the real deal

MrsRolandRat · 01/05/2016 20:42

But MrNavy's kids have chavy names I'm so fucking shallow Confused

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 01/05/2016 20:44

Nowt yet. I am rapidly running out of fucks to give, to be honest. However, ask me again tomorrow and I'll be Little Miss Angsty again. Hmm

Oooh, liking the sounds of MrNavy! 31 is not too young at all if he's hot and can spell. Rare qualities indeed.

HandyWoman · 01/05/2016 20:57

Haha re chavvy names. I could possibly overlook, however, in iron who can spell.

Freaky bloody hell. Rollercoaster doesn't come close. The Amy Young video about giving way too many fucks is for you right now. Just for you. When you feel the angst come back please watch this on repeat. At close range. For hours.

Hope 314 is having a laugh. Please someone here have a fun non date!!

MrsRolandRat · 01/05/2016 21:03

Yeah one is the brand of a well known steriliser for babies bottles. I was like, what kind of name is that Hmm the other is an area of the Lake District, all a bit bizarre.

TigsytheTiger · 01/05/2016 21:16

Ha, I'm the same with chavvy names, always breathe a sigh of relief when they have 'normal' names!! -Am I weird that I put them together with my kids names to see how they all sound together Blush-

ocelot7 · 01/05/2016 21:51

I thought Alicia was great in the Danish Girl but Eddie Redmayne was awful...

Bant · 01/05/2016 22:38

Ok. Date over. It was nice, we stayed at the bar instead of going to see the film. Interesting conversation.

However, she was short and rotund and Scottish. I felt like I was on a date with the wife from the Krankies. No chemistry. New cinema buddy though

HandyWoman · 01/05/2016 23:01

Ah well - cinema buddy is good!

Onwards...

ocelot7 · 01/05/2016 23:01

Bant that reads as very unkind & judgemental...

ashmts · 01/05/2016 23:04

ocelot tbf people on here say things about a man's appearance and nobody calls them on it.

Bant · 01/05/2016 23:07

Does it? She reminded me of Jeanette Krankie. I didn't fancy her. How is that judgemental?

ocelot7 · 01/05/2016 23:11

Yes it does. It was a mean description - its enough to say you don't fancy someone
Ash if I had seen that I would have called it.