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Original poster

Let's Get Ready! It's Dating Thread 103

999 replies

DrFoxtrot · 19/04/2016 23:23

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.
OP posts:
314pDream · 30/04/2016 17:47

Two ticks = he's read it!

314pDream · 30/04/2016 17:51

Re: ghosters, Mr Canceller has Zombied me twice now which is funny because he loved The Walking Dead. I'm not digging it back up for a third chance though. I gave him a second chance. Enough.

I should be trying to get irons close to my own age. Monday. Let me do the date with 'jovencito' and then on Monday I'll find somebody close to my own age.

PurplePow · 30/04/2016 17:53

Still not sure how this date tomorrow night with MrFit will go... He's still sending very suggestive texts. Hmmmm.

Came across this on Facebook earlier! www.facebook.com/NicoleArbourfans/videos/10154855611417907/

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 30/04/2016 18:03

Confession time...my friend came round last night and we spent more time than is reasonable for two intelligent women in their 30s experimenting with WhatsApp. Every time I messaged her with her phone on, it was going to 2 grey ticks immediately so we reckoned he must have turned his phone off which is fine but then all week he's been messaging and then immediately turning his phone off? It's weird to say the least. Anyway, staying with my bro this weekend who is also dating so I will be picking his brains re the male POV. He's already laughed at me re my whatsapp obsession....

MrsRolandRat · 30/04/2016 18:58

Traffic pm me on here your name as it appears on FB and a description of your profile. I'm admin for the FB group and will add you.

CocoPlum · 30/04/2016 18:58

pie Two blue ticks = he's read it. Two grey ones = message delivered but not.read.

freaky, sometimes if I'm not anywhere with WiFi and lowish battery/limited data, I might keep my phone data switched off. Then I might switch on to check, reply, switch off again.

Just a theory really. Maybe he's in work and feels he needs to.concentrate and not be distracted by whatsapp, or can't connect to WiFi and needs to conserve data, or battery power? Whatsapp absolutely eats battery power on my phone!

TrafficJunkie · 30/04/2016 19:14

I HATE whatsapp and the ability to see what someone is doing!!! Same as Facebook messenger. But I've said this lots 😂😂

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 30/04/2016 19:15

He keeps saying he's sooooo busy at work this week, so that will be his excuse for lack of messages, I am sure. Perfectly reasonable excuse I spose. Fucker.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 30/04/2016 19:17

So MrIT is out for drinks tonight so obviously my brain has gone straight to thinking 'he's out on a date and he's bound to like her more than me and so he'll end up cancelling tomorrow night' even though we both agreed we weren't looking for anything exclusive/serious and both agreed we'd be dating other people.

TrafficJunkie · 30/04/2016 19:23

I've had a couple of irons pop up on Tinder. Been chatting away with one I'll call Curvylover, but he abruptly ended our chat as he was off out. A second iron is too far away, but quite like him as he's funny so going to keep chatting for a bit anyway. You never know 😊

MrsRolandRat · 30/04/2016 20:19

Traffic I've messaged you re the FB group.

ALaughAMinute · 30/04/2016 20:42

It's a shame that a lot of the regular posters on this thread have now moved over to Facebook. This thread isn't the same anymore.

Just saying Smile

MyGastIsFlabbered · 30/04/2016 20:47

I'm sorry, trying to get back on here as well

TooSassy · 30/04/2016 21:29

freaky. This is totally random and left field.
Are you sure he isn't dating someone/ in a LTR? The turning off of phone as soon as sending a text isn't great......no one turns their phones off that regularly. I don't even turn mine off on flights! Unless it isn't their main phone. Or they really don't want to risk the message being seen. It's bloody odd!
I know you're in a good space but that's a huge red flag for me. Just be wary. I could be wrong but hmmmm

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 30/04/2016 21:43

I don't think so Sassy. He's spent the last 3 Saturday nights with me and fully intended to spend this Saturday with me if I had been around, which suggests he's single and everything else backs that up too (FB profile etc). And this pattern of communication is only this week. Before that, he was messaging in a way that was consistent with what he said about his life, if that makes sense?

314pDream · 30/04/2016 22:13

Im not on fb!
Prefer the anonymity here

HandyWoman · 30/04/2016 22:24

Me too. Prefer the anonymity of the thread too.

ALaughAMinute · 30/04/2016 23:03

Pleased to hear that 314 and Handy - to be honest I feel a bit of a fraud on this thread because I'm still living with my ex husband and won't be ready to date for a few months but I love reading your updates and I've learnt so much from this thread which I hope will prepare me for what's to come when I start dating.

Good to see you on here Gast, you've never been short of dates! I don't think you should jump to conclusions re MrT especially as you don't know for sure that he's seeing another woman tonight. Don't over think it. Tomorrow will soon be here.

I've just seen a really hot guy on Telegraph Dating and I'm half wondering if I should join just so I can talk to him. I might be living with my ex but that doesn't mean I can't sneak off now and then. Smile

lastnicknamefree · 30/04/2016 23:03

It has certainly been quiet lately.
reddish how's things for you now, have you spoken to your gf again about things?
314 are you looking forward to your date with the 29 year old?

Just for fun (and conversation) what's your favourite OLD site and why...
Tinder, POF, OKC or other....

Mine was POF because I've had my one date and couple of near misses from there but actually love the ease and addictivness of Tinder these days even though about 1% of matches actually talk!

ALaughAMinute · 30/04/2016 23:07

OKC is crap where I live so I'd have to say POF although there aren't many decent men on there in the age range I'm looking at unfortunately.

HandyWoman · 30/04/2016 23:21

Well my least favourite was Match.com, nobody messaging on there. Ever. Which is weird considering it's a paid site. Perhaps most people on there don't in fact pay?!

I like POF but there's and awful lots of dross. And millions of old faces on there.

OKC was such a weird mix of people. Met my 'nearly FWB' Cufflinks on there. Glad I never slept with him. We still occasionally Whatsapp (politely, no sexting) nowadays.

Zoosk was horrific. Couldn't get on with Tinder.

Went on GSM for only a few days when Twix pinged into my inbox. So that's prob my fave (inches towards smitten bench) Grin

I think that we have all done brilliantly with our dating action, we've been busy, there's been progress and now there are wobbles (Freaky, JollyX and me til this week). Just goes to show bagging a date is by no means the end of the story.

I think there are a few of us quietly getting on with it e.g JollyP and gast who is mainly on fb.

We're doing ok. Just need another injection of irons and possibly waving to come back and inspire us a bit more!

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 01/05/2016 07:23

Morning all! I wish I was on the "just quietly getting on with it" bench! I don't seem to be able to do that...
Had an interesting chat with my brother who basically said everything that you guys have been saying re what I should do. But also that I should not overthink as Bacon could just have a legitimate reason (ie busyness) for lack of messages and not even be aware that hurting me. Not sure I buy that to be honest!
I have also had some good advice on FB that is saying to call Bacon on his behaviour.
So, I think that my plan of action will be to message when I am home this evening, see what his reaction is and then maybe ask to talk so we can discuss what's been going on. That's not needy, it's just bloody fair.

lastnicknamefree · 01/05/2016 07:42

handy I just popped over to GSM for a nosey as it's not one I'm on, but I didn't realise it was a paid site. Didn't it used to be free?

Morning freaky isn't it interesting how male and female advice differs so much? In this case it's pretty much opposite camps between the "leave him" in the male quarter of the "call him out" in the female!

Jollyphonics · 01/05/2016 07:51

freaky if I were you I'd try as hard as I could to not confront Bacon until you see him. The thing is, text/whatsapp etc is not a good way to have serious conversations, because body language isn't there. Also it's easy for someone to duck out of answering questions by simply not replying. So you could end up totally revealing your own feelings and getting an unsatisfactory response. Much better to do it face to face, when he can't run away!

Things seem to be going well for me but it's only been a month and I'm still plagued by uncertainties during the text gaps. I sometimes wonder what it would actually take to make me relax in the early stages of a relationship! Probably need a text declaration of love every half hour!! Crazy!

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 01/05/2016 07:57

I was planning on a phone call, Jolly. I agree that we can't do this by text. But I can't leave it until next Sat, I think I will actually go mad before then!