Let's Get Ready! It's Dating Thread 103

[DrFoxtrot]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Where are you all? Busy weekend with family planned.
I was asked out my non iron reallife yesterday, to join him and group of friends at another out next week. I already have work commitments so needed to say no. Let's see if he perseveres!

Have a fab day y'all!

At a *night out

traffic* yes there is a FB group. PM Roland rat who I think can add you.

Hi sassy I'm still here, I read daily and just don't post much because I'm so jaded with the whole OLD experience after only doing it for 6 weeks! I've had nothing but being ghosted, lied to, bailed on last minute and the one date I did have was crap. So I'm on the wtf bench and licking my wounds while i recover some of my bruised confidence enough to try again!

Still love this thread and reading everyone's experiences, it's a wealth of support, advice and info especially 314 currently posting some epic stuff!

So who's got dates this weekend, anyone?

yy to the tumbleweed... lots of wound-licking and WTF going on at the minute... 314 has a date on Sunday with her 29year-old. Anyone else? JollyX did you hear from Karmic?

Freaky how are you feeling this morning? Did you send your delayed breezy message?

Happy bank hol weekend all, I have a date with my garden, which needs a lot of work

I've deleted POF from my phone. Was annoying me (stupid pointless 'meet me' function pinging away endlessly). Plus I feel 100% chilled and fine re Twix. He is deffo Twix once more.

Merry it's not you, it's him.
Of course it's ok to reject someone nice because you don't fancy them.
It's not necessarily normal for men to be so full on but it's not unusual.
The nice, attractive normal men are about, like handy says it's just a case of going back to OLD and keep going until you find one.

I have a date tomorrow night.
He seems alright but I'm jaded with OLD so I'm not up for it at all!

Hey yall, if you whatsapp your irons, do they always then show up in your facebook friend suggestions??
The jovencito popped up. FIRST time this has happened. Maybe that's what's weird, that this is the first time it's happened.

This thread moves really fast! I also don't check it daily so apologies for not keeping up.
Had second date with Mr Chef last night, went for dinner at one of my favourite local places. Conversation flowed, invited him back for coffee and he ended up staying over for the night. Made it clear I wasn't going to sleep with him and he didn't push it, which considering my recent sexual assault I needed him to accept and not push any boundaries.
He seems nice, bit posh, he's very well spoken and I'm your average working class northern woman but he's very easy to get on with.
We've both got busy weekends planned, I have a family event and work and he's working.
But I just don't know, I don't know if it's him or if it's me not being able to let my guard down at the minute. Will just have to see how it pans out I suppose.

I don't think you should be letting your guard down after only 1 or 2 dates. You obviously feel he's trustworthy though - that's good. Sounds like it went really well, Dotty

Morning all.

314 - the same thing happened to me with friend suggestions, except it was an ex from 20 years ago. We've mailed, called, texted and met up a few times over the last 20 years, but then last week she whatsapped me for the first time and up she pops in my FB suggestions, under a nickname. I didn't know she was even on FB until then.

Well, last night I had my first first date in over a year. I dipped my toe into POF last week, had a few somewhat stilted chats, a couple of decent ones. One woman was very nice and occasionally funny but often was monosyllabic. We'd arranged a date for last night, and then she disappeared, deleted profile completely. Poof. Gone.

But another woman messaged me first (rare) and was attractive and funny (rarer). We met for a drink last night, and it was.. nice enough. She was wearing big heels so was the same height as me (5'10) which was a little odd.

Cheek kiss hello, cheek kiss goodnight when we walked to our cars. I messaged her afterwards and said it was nice, would she like to do it again, and she replied 'we should do it again some time'. The 'some time' seemed like a bit of a brush off

I'm not actually that bothered though. She's into astrology, which is a personal bugbear. I fall into mansplaining mode about how it's bollocks.

And .. there was just something missing I think. Sexual chemistry maybe. Something wrong in the body language, although I swear she was trying to play footsie under the table. I don't know if I'll arrange to see her again after that 'some time' - if she'd sounded a bit more keen then maybe I'd be more keen too.

Still. I've got two more irons.

I'm already feeling jaded with OD though.

Thanks handy he seems trustworthy and sincere but that doesn't mean he is and I'm second guessing things to some extent I think.
He's text me after he left this morning saying thanks for a nice evening and that he'd like to see me again, I think I probably will and see how it goes.

dotty he actually sounds really nice! Good manners all round there.
bang must be hard getting back into it again after the long term relationship. If something felt a little off then probably was, and the "some time" would make me think it's a brush off too. Onwards and upwards to the next iron!

Well done on getting out there, Bant

Sounds like you can leave that astrology-iron to go cold. 'We should do it again some time' = 'no thanks but I might be back depending on irons/boredom/the need to play footsie' (delete as appropriate). So.... Next!

I am fine thank you Handy! Getting used to and accepting this new pattern. I did send the breezy message and I did say "hope you have a good weekend planned after your busy week" cos it just felt right to acknowledge it. And he replied after a few hours saying he hoped I had a good weekend. So, meh.
I may send him a pic of my amazing life at some point this weekend or if not, just message on Monday saying what a fabulous time I had!

dotty that sounds good. Keep us updated!! Everyone else....sounds a bit meh 😂
Rubbish isn't it.

I'm on the train to visit another nearby town. I dunno, maybe I'll have some luck sitting in a coffee shop.....lock eyes with a distant stranger or something!!

I missed a couple of threads because I was too busy in the Facebook group real life. What happened with Twix?

Folks, The 29 year old is not an iron in the real sense. Obviously even if we hit it off, it can never go anywhere, I could never introduce him to my friends or family or kids (well, maybe as a friend, but even then, we'd have to really actually be friends). So the 'date' with the 29 year old is actually a break from dating. If he cancels I'll ask ECHT43 if he wants to go out at the last minute.

What will you do if you fancy him 314?

Do you like the idea of being the older woman?

PM who for the facebook group? And where? On here or facebook?

Hi everyone! This has definitely been a thread of wound licking and WTF I must be a bad omen so I'm not starting another dating thread haha!!

It's all going a bit weird here! I've had a tweet from my ex from 2 years ago, asking 'did you ever wish for a second chance'. I replied saying 'have you ever felt like you had a lucky escape'. I know his game, he is somebody who cannot be single and, sure enough, I checked on Facebook and he is single again. I wanted this moment for so long, he affected me so badly. What an absolute fucking arsehole. I need to keep remembering this as I have never had chemistry with anyone like I did with him. I was deeply in love with him.

The ghosters always come back don't they?! I'm a much different person now than I was then.

In other news...Apple has been texting sporadically all week, no mention of a third date. When I asked about his bank holiday plans yesterday he again reiterated his circumstances that are tying him to his local area. I'm not sure he is ready to date actually. But he has just sent me a message saying he's bored should have thought to arrange a date!!

My unnamed accidental iron is an intelligent interesting man who only seems to want banter and sexting which is ok in small doses but I'm getting bored. There's no other substance there despite him saying he wants much more. I think he's a waste of the title 'iron' actually. I've pretty much left it now with him, there'll be no date ever unless he steps up his game completely.

I still have plans to meet Leicester in May.

I need to go and catch up on the thread now. Handy I'm glad Twix is back to being Twix. Any further update from Freaky and JollyX?

Traffic PM MrsRolandRat on here with your Facebook name and a brief description of your profile picture so she can add you as a friend on Facebook then add you to the group.

Freaky I missed your post - I agree just mirror his messages and keep enjoying your fabulous life. I really hope you are not on the slow fade but the only way to cope with this shit is to try to not care - or fake it until you make it. Keep busy.

Bant you can get disillusioned with OLD very quickly. But I find it ebbs and flows. It is good getting out and meeting people and when it's good it's a nice boost. You would probably not get on with me in real life I like astrology and I also see a clairvoyant .

Ocelot did Scot ever get in touch? Or was the no acknowledgement of the gig/ date at all?

314 I wouldn't mind a 29 year old as a break from dating!!

Welcome everyone new

No Scot ghosted in the end...when as far as he knew I'd bought the gig tickets! Not good behaviour & not heard anything since...

Hi all,

I've not been on the thread for six months as I'm now in a lovely relationship with someone I met online. Something stood out to me though as I was reading the thread - Freaky - you said the messages on Whatsapp were going through and Bacon wasn't reading them, and you said "(one grey tick)". I don't know if you mistyped and meant to say two, but ONE grey tick means the message has been sent and is in the ether somewhere. But if he's offline (ie not connected to WiFi or data etc), he won't have received it. It's not until there are TWO grey ticks that it's been sent.

Yeah, I know Coco. It's just that every message I have sent him this week has been one grey tick for hours which I guess means he's had his phone turned off? Seems like he's had his phone turned off, is just turning it on to message and then off again...
He's been online this afternoon. Trying not to check or to read too much into it...