AIBU DSS is DP being unfair?

[Rarity75]

I am annoyed! For context we have DSS every other weekend. My DP has a regular (monthly) commitment/hobby that lasts all day.

Initially DSS used to go with him, but he gets bored. This Sunday DH had asked me to look after him for the day. No problem I will include him on whatever I'm doing with my DD.

However tonight I find out he isn't actually playing tomorrow he is watching (and presumably) drinking with his mates. So he is choosing to that instead of spending quality time with his son. He also has his hobby on the next visit so that will be two consecutive visits the poor sod is stuck with me and DD instead of his dad. Who is the one he really is here to see!!

AIBU to really angry about this??

It was me who took both kids to the zoo, playbarn etc etc. Everytime he promised something fun it never happens! They just spend all their time on their phones/tablets barely talking. It's me who gets the board games out, plays games etc. I feel like he just isn't that invested and is a crap parent

How did he take you ending the relationship? I'm a bit wary of whether I'll get mr angry or mr upset.

Ok I have asked him to pack a bag and leave. I am going to take DD out for tea and I have asked for him to be gone by the time I get back.

He is texting me that he has no where to go, he is depressed. He will change. Can we please sit down and talk tonight. I am sticking to my guns and asking him to go. This is really hard.

Well done - and really stick to those fund like glue. Not your problem, anyway, he's awesom, right? So he'll sort himself out

guns!!

Awesome - Ffs my phone hates me today!

I'm crying in work like an idiot (and I'm the boss!).

Mr awesome will be just fine - and you'll be much better once he's out of your life

Well done, I was following your thread yesterday. Honestly, you don't need someone with a temper around. Let alone all the other shit.

Stay firm your doing well

Good grief. Please stand firm on this.
He's absolutely taking the piss.
You are taking charge but don't be talked around.
He needs to leave and understand you are serious.
If you don't follow through he will continue to sponge off you and treat you like a doormat.
You've done great but don't back down now.
Show your DD what a strong woman does. And that is take charge of her own life and not put up with this shite.
She will model your behaviour for future relationships so ensure it's the right modelling.

Yes! Air punch - GOOD FOR YOU. Seriously, he's not going to change. He's had as big a warning as humanly possible with his last relationship. He's used you exactly the same.

It's always emotional when a relationship ends, even when the person you're leaving is an arrogant, selfish twunt. I think it's more grieving for what could have been rather than missing the person or wanting to stay. Don't feel bad for crying, better out than in.

Be kind to yourself, have a cosy night in with your DD. Watch a silly film, eat something nice for dinner and have snuggle on the sofa. In a few days or weeks it will lift and you'll only feel relief that this man child is out of your life.

He's depressed? How the fuck does he think YOU feel? Oh, that's right, he doesn't care how you feel because you're just there to service his needs.

Well done. What you've done takes real courage.

Well done, OP, throw that fish back into the sea.

"How did he take you ending the relationship?"

Actually it was quite convenient. He took offence at something my mother had said and told me to choose between my mother and himself. It was a no brainer.

He's not depressed, he's lazy and horrified at the idea of losing his meal ticket.

Stay strong OP, you're doing the right thing.

He is resisting going, wants to talk tonight. I will be going to my mums if he doesn't leave.

If he can't give me any space then it not about me and what I need at all is it? Once again it's all about him.

He started off saying he was wrong, he was sorry, he will give up is hobby. We can book a wedding date ??

Once again does what he wants, says sorry expects me to forgive him. That's not happening this time. The mould has been broken.

Thanks in no small part to the advice and support I have received here

I feel like crap and I want more than anything for things to have been different. But I can't fix, can't change him. I don't deserve to sacrifice my happiness for someone else.

Tell him no, you just want him gone.

He knows once he's out it will be far harder to weasel his way back in so he's fighting to keep his cushy life. He doesn't love you, he just wants someone to provide food, accommodation, sex and occasional
babysitting.

Wanker.

It really sounds like he has an un healthy relationship with alcohol, a drink problem.
I really think you need to stand firm

He's not daft is he, he seems to be able to pick great women before showing his true colours. His ex sounds lovely and has a great attitude. Then he found you, an independent, secure woman who happens to be at a low point. And got his feet under the table.

You have done absolutely the right thing. I hope he has gone tonight.

Hold strong - you know it's just part of the pattern to wear you down

I think you should pack his bag for him- he's an entitled shite and your life will be much simpler without him.

I know it is. He wants me to feel sorry for him.
I just want to do what someone mentioned upthread. Have a nice meal, movie with my DD and big cuddles and an early night.

One strong and brave lady!
Enjoy your movie and cuddles

Oh yeah? And who's going to pay this wedding?
He really is deluded.
I really hope you get him gone.
Good luck

Why would he think a wedding would solve everything? He really is deluded

I've just read the whole thing and never believed you'd do it, especially so soon! Well done. Be strong