Jump right in! It's Dating Thread 102

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Yes Handy and Waving please come back for an update

Thanks ladies, you are all right. It's the chip on shoulder part that's getting my alarm bells ringing (aka attempting to sleuth camponology ) I don't want to get hurt unnecessarily but it's tough to even partially lower those barriers eh?

Anyhoo, it will be what it will be

314 it can be hard can't it? I take it the MH advice is to never apologise for oneself though, however difficult it may be

JollyX Trolling non speaking matches may amuse me too, thanks for the tip

Look at this! www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3527825/Tinder-profile-Jenny-28-says-just-trying-husband-s-profile.html

Wives going on tinder to find their husbands..

I properly you all. Thank you for your support and for being the voice of sanity to ensure I know I'm not going mad!

Good luck to all on dates. TGIF tmrw is all I can say! Roll on the weekend of no irons and no complications!

Aah Sassy you are far from being/going mad as you've excercised your "I'm not putting up with this bull"!

My coffe date with Mr Diamond went well. If I can be honest and (not deluded- I hope) say that he seemed genuinely distressed that he had upset me.

He has redeemed himself since in various ways. I think I like him quite a lot .

coffee

Right oh everyone....!!!!

Foxtrot Return of the Crumpet eh. I vote for something as short as poss. Tomorrow morning. Am loving your Rhinohide....

314 do you have to be sober on Sun? I have good vibes about DrNN

GoHack I commend you on your excellent radar, it's working perfectly. You dabbled then exited stage left. Nothing to feel bad about. 'Trust issues' - well yeah you're a stranger, like.. what an utter knob head!!

scarf go you and your amazing life! Enjoy your girly weekend honing your MH flirting skills!

Anna excellent work with the cultivating...

lastnickname a date will come! It will!

welcome Willmum79 are you going to see that man again?

shame tell us more about math - is it going well???

Freaky keep on swooning re Bacon! I still need swoon buddies!!!

Ana boo re NotBanksy. What a shame.

I agree with everyone about MrTattoo saving face, sassy

JollyX loving your involuntary bitching! And maybe there's room for the attraction to grow there?

Hello again velour

Looking forward to an update from Trills - he'd better be hot and buying the drinks, to make up for lacklustre texting.

So me and the fabulous Twix..... I'm now in a horrible Twix Drought!

He's been in a film shoot 0700-midnight since Mon. It was meant to finish Tues. We were supposed to see each other tonight but he got home 02:30 this morning from the shoot then had to get up 06:30 for a meeting. Plus he hasnt seen his kids since last Thurs. So I said I expected he needs to crash out/see his kids and he said yes. Am gutted but totally understand, obviously. And pining a lot bit. My kids are away so the timing is terrible!!

I won't see him til Wed for a pub date (which he suggested this afternoon but I won't be able to stay over) by which time it'll be ELEVEN DAYS HELP!!!!! But his messages are playful and lovely and frequent and consistent as ever. And making me feel quite a bit for him.

In the meantime my amazing life continues, out in London tomorrow then a friend coming over Sat. I think I'm keeping the balance but still totally in The Smitten Zone. I literally Cannot Wait to see him next. So, today is day 5/11. I'll chalk off the days in here if that's ok.....

Argh the slow texting is driving me INSANE! Tonight I didn't receive a reply to a txt I sent at 10.30am until 8pm. He said he had been out all day with his child and I know he has been busy but seriously, it takes 2 minutes to reply to a text?! I replied and guess what, he is still yet to reply. My sister has said if that's his only flaw then I should thank my lucky stars - and yeah maybe if we were a couple I would but it's at the stage where I'm thinking is he slowly fading me out or am I just being paranoid?!

I might wait until next week and mention another date like he suggested. I feel like saying to him if you aren't interested please tell me now!

Hope everyone is well! x

Oh harriet it's awful isn't it!

Perhaps when he's back at work he'll find it 'easier'? Maybe he's just very blokey and literally can do one thing at a time with kids around?

Harriet, I really feel for you. I saw someone for 4 months in 2014. He was absolutely lovely, but he'd take hours to reply to texts, and I found it made me really anxious. As you say, it only takes a couple of minutes to reply to a text - even if it's "Sorry, I'm really busy now but will reply properly later" that would be better than nothing.

As Handy, says, maybe wait until he's back at work, see if you can get another date fixed up, and take it from there. But if a lot of communication is important to you, you might have to accept that he's not for you (which is one of the reasons I ended it with the lovely Walt).

Meh. MrThursday was not worth waiting for. One drink (lasting about an hour) and I left.

The money I might have spent on more drinks or eating out is now going on a takeaway.

harriet It's bloody shoddy! 10.30am text and replies at 8pm? That is shite. I've had 3 dc's all day, in and out of the house and been able to text/message...9 (!!!) different people multiple times. I am a woman though. I can multitask (Stereotype irony there)

handy Twix and 11 days...that is a big gap typical when your dc's are away and you don't have them to distract you from the swoon/constant going over of the sex . This is the stage I am at withmath, swoon, think about the sex, swoon, work out how many hours until I see him, swoon, work out what I am going to say/wear/drink, swoon, stalk his facebook . He has liked my last two updates on FB and it actually made my heart flutter that he is actually happy to be associated with me .

Anna please please hurry and update the no, no, no, no guy.

last a date is just around the corner. I can feel it.

314 a sober first date? Oh my lord. I couldn't do it. I really couldn't.

Trills I really think you and Anna should start a dating blog together as your iron/dating game is a bloody marvel!

Goldfish he has actually done that before and said he will speak properly later as he is busy or works a nightmare. I don't mind it, and I reckon I could handle this if it was a relationship but it's because it's at the dating stage now that I don't know whether it's him being hot and cold or me being paranoid or what!

I think I will wait until next week or so and mention the chance of seeing each other again and go from there with what he says as I'm sure I will be able to work out if he is serious or not :)

toosassy I missed your post explaining what happened and I only just scrolled back to find it now. I love your reply "school boy error". Good reply. I don't blame you for bailing. I'd feel like my nose had been pushed in to reality a bit too forcefully. And although I am in contact with more than one man sometimes, often it's at different stages, winding down, trying to arrange a date.

I would get that. But the two both so simultaneously...
You did the right thing and I hope you meet real men in real life at the real dinner party. I wish I was going to a dinner party! Nice to know that sometimes single people get to go to dinner parties.

shameandregret I know, what is he like? it says on his profile that he likes chablis and sancerre. I feel duped. The last time I went on a sober date with that Pilot, he was a pompous dry uptight stilted date. I actually cracked and had two glasses of wine with my meal. That's not excessive but he looked at me like I was binge drinking, falling about on the street with four of my closest mates, fat white legs in high heels and no coats on!!! fgs, it was two glasses of wine with dinner. He said ''I've always been a bit special'' (because he didnt drink). That's not special

It is NOT special 314 it is alien to me! I sound quite like the binge drinkers .

I just could not do a first date without alcohol. It is my ballast. I'd rather dig my eyes out with a blunt spoon. And he has duped you with the chablis/sancerre thing for sure. I would be doing little 'wine' tests all night (I am childish though!).

Sassy totally agree with your duplicate texter dumping. I'm still that he didn't seem phased by his cock up! Arrogant or what!

314 jeez - 'special' my arse. What a freaking santamonious tit!!!

Seems to be getting more and more common amongst 50 ish men. I have come across this a few times now.

I can't drink because I'm working tomorrow. WOW. I half admire that but there are probably surgeons operating at 8am tomorrow morning who are having a glass of wine with their dinner tonight. He is going to sit at a desk.

Yes you're right, 314 that's pathetic

314, I hate drinking with non-drinkers. I used to have a teetotal friend (well, we're still friends but he lives abroad now) and if we went out to dinner I'd usually want a glass of wine. It might've been my imagination, but I always felt he was looking at me disapprovingly, and it took away any pleasure I got from the wine.

Trills, oh no! Hope you're enjoying your takeaway. What was Mr Thursday like?

In the last month I've had 3 first dates and gone to one event.

Might have a bit of a rest now.

A sober first date does not sound like fun to me.

Mind you, the third date wiht Mr Canceller was sober and it was for the best really. It brought in to sharp focus that I didn't fancy him quiiiite enough. He wasn't completely unattractive to me but if he'd been more confident that would have worked. He seemed to be lacking confidence when he was sober and that wasn't attractive. Actually I was fine.

Maybe it'll be fine. He's very chatty. The pilot was a dry shite. This will be totally different. TOTALLY my own fault wrt the pilot as I messaged him to mock him gently about his profile (which described his ideal date at length in great detail) and I sent a message to say ''your ideal date sounds like a lovely woman, I'd like to go for a cup of tea with her myself'' and before I knew it, I was having dinner with him. He was full of himself, and it was hard to see why. But he wasn't lewd or crude or anything. People have endured worse. HIs coughing was annoying though. And the three big spots on his neck did put me off my food. I needed those two glasses of wine!