Jump right in! It's Dating Thread 102

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Oh, CurlyMuso was lovely company, but not for me, felt like a pet puppy. :(

I'm just jumping in, not name checking.
I hope all the dates tonight are going well.
I'm not on a date, I've got some irons on POF.

Since Captain Pugwash told me I was the biggest woman he'd ever been out with I'm having a crisis of confidence. I'm convinced I'm really fat and horrible and I don't know how to unconvince myself.
An iron on POF just asked me out tomorrow I said no in a my amazing life way but it's partly because he's fit and gorgeous and I feel like a marshmallow.
Aargh.

Captain pug wash sounds like an idiot (trying to keep polite with that) You should go for a date..your iron should consider himself lucky that you accepted!!

I'll be alright Brightmoon but thank you.
I have to dust myself off and stop being an idiot.

Ive just got in he was there waiting for me when i finished he put up with my crazy friends and im going on a proper date tomorrow with him dinner and cinema i think just need to organise times etc. He is very very nice didnt get to give a goodbye kiss as our lift turned up

Anna you must ignore pugwash! One random comment from a man you hardly know (& who frankly doesn't sound that nice!) does not define you - & if yr huge we all are! I'm a 10 too but have been quite a bit bigger & still had dates/bfs anyway.

is there any way you can retrieve the other date?

Anna, that was a ''negging'' comment. Pugwash sounds manipulative to me.

I'm ONLY 5'2" and size 10 and I get told I have a nice figure by men. If pugwash had said to me, I would have given it to him both barrels.

Trills yes, I'm perfectly happy wiht my samsung, it does everything, I can think of!

muddling so another date, tonight!? that's lovely. Make sure you see a late film, ie one that starts at 9.30 so you've time to TALK first.

tanyadm that's a shame, oh well, another one crossed off the list

freaky how'd it go? are you going to update us?

Pops in briefly for Bacon update. Ah, I seen there is none

Anna I can't believe Pugwash has done that to you that's awful. You need to get out there dating ASAP and meet someone who has a more decent perspective of women.

tanya major bummer - what a disappointment with Curlymuso, did he seem a bit immature? Was he annoying? Was it awkward to get away?

Great to here the latest from JollyX I feel he might be sneaking up on you like MTG snuck up on waving and thanks for the mantra, I neeeeeed those soothing words!

I agree Goldfish that date sounds promising! Yey!

muddling sounds very promising too. And proper date today! Woop!

So today is Apple Sleepover day!

waving so glad the at home contact idea is off the table.

Jollyp hang on in there, I'm exactly the same with Twix and we are also exclusive. And 6 weeks in! And my life is very full. No idea what the answer is.... although my therapist says that some of this insecurity is normal at the beginning of a relationship. But how much is normal eh?

Twix popped up in my inbox about 11am yesterday. Then he checked back in with me in the evening and we had a lovely exchange of messages. He keeps mentioning the subject of being an introvert. We discussed this a little on text last night. I wonder if he is one? In a big way? Will investigate further. I so hope I'm seeing him on Tues (my child free night) because we are out of sync and he has kids next weekend. But I feel like I need to wait for him to mention it I hate doing this dance! Pleeeease, universe, organise that Twix messages me in a minute and asks to see me Tues............ Ithangyou

I thought I'd posted last night to say that the party was good but I didn't meet any men. There were nice men there. Now I can't see my post. I hope I didn't put it on facebook :-0

Freaky
Are you ok? Update please

314 I find that parties are chock full of attached men. Or idiots. Or maybe that's just my social circle good that the party was fun though.

More texting from the Twix. He says he's 'a bit' of an introvert. Nothing yet on the subject of Tues. Come on universe...

Am staying at my friend's house. Is 10:35 and she's still in bed. Me and my kids have been up for ages and I've fed my kids brekky. Bordering on poor form now I think? Discuss......

Sorry! Can't really update now as heading out with DS but briefly, after a fraught start, the date ended up going really well. Very teenagery, beers in my fave bar, snogging (and a little more) in an alleyway and home to my mum (babysitting) hoping that the stubble rash on my chin was not too obvious!
Will do full update later but in general, things are good. Date 3 is a definite.

Freaky has updated on fb - snogging took place & all good after predate wobble about an overreaction to a joke - the thread is now mostly split between the 2 locations with little crossover...

Just a thought - what do you think Handy 314 Waving Freaky ? - maybe we should vacate here for newbies who at the same stage as each other & all go there? For all the wisdom(!) is appreciated, there is the archive but anyway you kinda need to DO it to get it...the advice is not taken till yr ready for it anyway - like the no contact thing...

Handy, CurlyMuso was lovely and the chat was nice, but he just seemed too young and vulnerable.

I ended up going home and sharing a bottle of wine with my not-divorced husband as he was staying over for the kids. Was nice, like old times, and the inevitable happened. 20 months of separation and nothing like this has even come close to happening. So confused.

Just a thought - what do you think Handy 314 Waving Freaky ? - maybe we should vacate here for newbies who at the same stage as each other & all go there?

Aww, our own mini-Mouldies. How sweet.

I don't think it was meant in that spirit... However, when I was new to OLD, I found the mix of experiences, and support here invaluable. It's not factions, the FB page serves a different purpose to the thread and allows more personal sharing.

Wow Trills how acid!

As a newbie to OLD I feel I benefit from your experiences and enjoy reading your updates so it would be a shame if you all disappeared.

I think so too laugh and even though I'm on the fb page I think it is lovely having both and I enjoy being here. I'm not sure the suggestion was meant in any other way than just that, a suggestion but I can see how it could possibly cause offence. The topic of the fb group often does seem to for some reason?

Yes it was just a thought - how could it possibly have caused offence?!!
I personally find it really hard to keep up with both, more so with so many new posters on the thread that I can't keep track of all the irons to respond!

I barely post on here, I live on FB
(This is Knackered knitter by the way, had to have a name change) I mostly just find chats with men going nowhere, so tedious. I have a FWB, occasional dates and that's it.

I don't do the FB extension of the thread maybe I should??

Had Irish texting me on and off last night and first thing this morning.... I think I should have another date and bite the bullet. An acquaintance used to have a "3 date rule" eg she felt if there was nothing there after 3 dates then she wouldn't see the man again!

Is anyone else in or know of my situation? Where it's women in late 30s early 40s either with or without kids. The ones without kids are either vehemently against kids, or like me it was always a 50/50 as to whether I wanted them and counting both sides of parents marriages (including grandparents) so many step families and re marriages that that never filled me with much hope! Even though I got engaged at 21... I was also petrified of being a single mother, coping alone and on a council estate.

My friends tend to be either hoping for kids or relationship or have given up. Internet dating throws up a few but not many options. Then there are the women with either grown up kids new to dating or the women who are with unsuitable men but stay with them because they need and want a relationship and put up with commitment phobes/cheaters etc (know of 3 women like this 1 with a child with the man).

Personally if I joined the FB group I'd have to monitor how I'm seen maybe create another profile because nice though it is I'm not open to other friends/school friends etc having an open peek into my romantic life or lack thereof... God knows if I ever do put a relationship status up everyone leaps on me hoping I've bitten! So if everyone's prepared for that let me know and details of FB group and I'll join. Pity it's changed from the thread here but it does move fast and is hard to keep track unless you're like one of the male predators here from a year ago who monitored and dated the thread! Including me! Good god wonder where/who/why Rioux is now and why didn't I see his tricks from the start?!

I am hoping to go to a nightclub reunion locally in May, basically it's an old one shut down reunion happens once a year, going along for the laugh but who knows!

Does anyone else have friends who don't like certain areas to socialise in (and meet men) or who also won't go to certain areas because their on/off boyfriend or people they Know are there and they thing they're "dodgy"? Got a friend like this. Rules out potential hunting grounds!

Anna ignore Pugwash!

I can understand the need for a FB page especially if those of you who are actively dating want to share photos and other stuff that you wouldn't want to share on here so I'm not offended by the suggestion. It'll probably be a few months until I start dating so I will miss this thread if it dies down altogether.

Super, the Facebook page is private but I've forgotten who you need to talk to to get the link.

Another one here vehemently against people leaving here to stay on the FB thread. Although that's because I am totally selfish and not on there so it's all about me

I think it's a personal choice and those naturally gravitating towards a preferred place will do so. From my personal experience however, it has been the mix of tenure on this thread that has been invaluable. Plus those moving into exclusive situations (inspiration for the rest of us to persevere).

I'll be on this thread and continue to post on progress of my RL irons. Have definitely taken a break from OLD....