Jump right in! It's Dating Thread 102

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Happy Friday everyone!
ocelot it says something when you feel relieved he has cancelled, part of me wants to say trust your gut and if you're really not feeling it then don't rearrange but another part of me says buggar it, go along and use it as good dating practice with no pressure, nerves or emotional investment. These often make for the best dates! This is where I'm currently at with my totally unsuitable date tomorrow night with the rather self obsessed mrfussy

goldfish good luck with pingu cute nickname! It's good that you are not too emotionally invested yet even though he is your fave iron

jollyxmas what's the latest with karmiciron has he manned up and upped his game or is he rattled at your comment

knowing why isn't sherpa rushing to book in another date with you pronto! Don't know what to think about him posting on that forum but I guess it's early days and it's not any different from what we do in stoking up more irons while we are waiting for dating to become a relationship?

tanya good luck on your date, hope it's fabulous!!

soggy welcome and get you being ballsy enough to go get a date in real life! Especially to someone at work, kudos to you! Who knows why he hasn't phoned could be any of the reasons you mentioned but let's hope you hear from or see him again soon. When are you working with him next?

Sorry for the late reply in a meeting most of the afternoon.
I am a bit worried about him seeing me post 5k race but my friends said we are not running it as its more walking/dancing glow sticks and dance music so i shouldnt look to crap afterwards lol
He has been quite flirty in his messages today which makes me want to snog him more but im being very calm in responses lol

Thanks Last, tried on outfit, quite happy. Nervous, there's something about him that I can't quite pin down, but in a good way. He's lovely.

I know Last, why isn't he at least asking when I'm next free or at least hinting godammit??! (channelling *Waving's MTG here ). A friend has just now offered to look after the DC for a couple of hours on Sunday but I'm not going to be the one to suggest meeting up; I've been the one to engineer dates before with guys and it's never ended well. I need to know that he's seeing me because it's out of his own accord and not because he's just going along with it. Can't wait to hear how your date with MrFussy goes tomorrow; make sure you have a escape route worked out nearby

Has anyone watched the MH video about how to get a guy to call you instead of just texting all the time? It's very funny, he says you should tell him to see him as nothing more than a penpal; apparently nothing less sexy to a guy than being referred to as a 'penpal' by the woman they're trying to get into bed with .

*you (see him)

waving yes have met Irish already which is great and he's now texting but I'm a bit tired and tail end of hangover so...

Drfoxtrot see that's the thing usually I go by chemistry and though there wasn't a huge amount with MrJourno it was enough for Me to think mmmm and probe for a second date whereon I got my flirt on, he liked me etc...

Irish is lovely in fact perfect on paper we met in a smartish pub near work, I quizzed him re family, music etc and then he offered to come with me to get my hair done (I think he maybe hoped for much but no chance!)

But then he got booze (gin and tonic and prosecco for my hairdresser whom I've known for 15-20 years!

lastnicknamefree I am still in shock that I did it! Last time I asked someone out was in 1993 and he turned me down!
I will see him at work on Monday and if I haven't heard from him before then I will pop my head around his door and breezily ask him if he is still ok for the evening drink.
I feel I have a lot riding on this, as I haven't been on a date for nearly two years and I have fancied this guy for AGES! But, as DrFoxtrot suggested, I need to focus on my weekend and not dwell on it...

soggy anything could've happened, changed his mind etc or maybe he thought better of starting something with someone at work - a few men aren't keen on that.

At least it wasn't like in my case a bit after this time last year regular readers of the thread will recall MOTS a man who worked in the offices above my old ones, bit of eye contact flirting etc did research etc as to if he was single asked him out by email and a card posted and damn he had a GF! I was mortified But timed it as I was leaving my old job!

To be perfectly honest soggy I wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket. Are you on dating sites?

It was too late to try to round someone else up for tonight so I stayed at work (exciting!) & got home about 7... Now nursing a large glass of red :)

Although I had a bit mixed feelings - somewhat relief after the trepidation, I have to get past it so I will go if he rearranges - but it sounded grave so who knows when he'll be back...

What a shame, Ocelot. Though I wonder if actually meeting him, even if he's not the one for you, might help you move on from M a bit more? Sad about his dad.

Ok nerves are now on the way i think he is definitely going to come and find me at this event tomorrow! I havent done anything like this in a bazillion years (ok 25 years) must remain calm and not be an idiot...

ocelot I'm sorry your date isn't going ahead (for a while)

Right now, I'm working on getting past missing Bear, and I will. I'm googling articles about walking away from an unavailable man, and watching you tube clips about forgetting somebody, about friends with emotional benefits. Trying to put it behind me, and it can be done! I'm certain of it. I am giving myself until the end of this month and then I'm back to plan A, messaging a whole raft of men. I certainly won't waste my sweet time on somebody who doesn't want a relationship.
I'm angry (ish) at bear and how he had such faith and such respect in his own right not to be in a relationship but he 'didn't really respect my needs in the same way. He was wilfully blind to how I felt. So that's good I think. Not pining. Feeling a bit indignant. Just waiting for that inclination to connect to pass. it will.

I might be quiet for a while, but I'm not in a downward spiral or anything! I feel empowered (ish!)

I dunno Tanya I've met a couple of guys & they didn't take my mind off M though one did hold my attention when I was with him...

I do think I'll get on with Scot - if I don't fancy him I can just close my eyes & listen to him :)

Crossed in cyberspace 314 :)

Ocelot if you don't fancy Scot, you know where to send him!

314 you do sound empowered and positive, I really like it. April will be over before we know it and you will be messaging left right and centre .

muddling I'm really excited to hear how it goes, I'm sure he will be expecting you to look a little glowing after the 5k! You must post an update!

Super I'm hoping to probe a little more on the second date and see if the chemistry is there. I sort of fancy him but don't feel like I should I'm wondering if I'd be embarrassed to be in a relationship with him . Anyway a second meeting has been arranged and I'm going to his. I know I've done it all wrong but I want to see him again quickly and properly check how I see things progressing. This is probably way too much buggering about when my instincts are telling me he's likely not for me...

It's really hard Drfoxtrot when you're not sure isn't it? And when the chemistry has led one into full on snogs etc and usually a damned sight more trouble!

I knew Me and Mr Journo weren't right he was an up by lunch playing tennis on Saturday I so am not and once I was a tad not in the best of moods after drink and sex with him next morning (weekend) and he reproached me about it and said something about problems... Which got my hackles up slightly!

314 sorry about bear and it is best to get back on the dating wagon as it were.

muddling your event sounds great and glam sporty chick doing something for charity sounds a winner! If he doesn't like you a bit sweaty then stuff him!

Irish has been sexting me this evening which is off putting as I'm not into it and not so soon. Why do men do this?!

Will try and catch up with rest of thread soon.

I'm not impressed! Meant to be meeting Pingu for the first time tomorrow but no time or venue sorted yet! I messaged him last, so I'm just going to wait and see what happens...

Superflyhigh, I will I promise, but allow me a break!!! My friend just texted me from Boston airport to tell me she's about to board the plane. Tomorrow I have that 50th. Bit nervous as I don't know anybody except my friend (it's her uncle) but I'll show up and be friendly get drunk drink juuuust enough to be sociable and if nobody is friendly (that's unlikely, right?? be positive) then I can always leave a bit early. But hopefully I won't.

I got given out to at work too for the Dr Creepy thing. I've turned on the location on my phone. For safety. NOt that I'm planning to go back to men's houses. Weirdly I feel like texting Dr Creepy. Our on line rapport was good. I miss THAT.

People can take a while to grow on me. Fake Buddist, the first time I met him he underwhelmed me but I was crazy about him after I'd talked to him over the course of a few weeks. The one date: yes? or no? - wow, it's pressure.

314 you've made me realise that I'm being a bit ridiculous with all this debating on whether I want a second date. There is no pressure, or there shouldn't be. My main fear is that I don't want to lead anybody on. I'm quite comfortable with my own uncertainty as I'm allowed to change my mind at any time. But I worry that if I decide to stop seeing somebody after a few dates, they will think I've been unfair and wasted their time. In January I had a couple of dates with somebody, decided I didn't want to see him anymore then he kept texting, sent me a gift to my work and I blocked him everywhere after that.

I vowed that I'd try to be sure in future before continuing to date but it doesn't work like that does it?

You've reassured me, maybe Apple will grow on me like Fake Buddhist, and he's not at all needy like my January date.

I think it's ok to go on two dates and then bail! Men do it.

ps, I got a notification earlier in my email that somebody favourited me and he looks nice, handsome in a rugged bald way, except, he just wants to ''hang out'' and is not looking for a relationship or any kind of commitment so I unfavourited him.