Jump right in! It's Dating Thread 102

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Thx for all yr good wishes re date & confirmation re Scottish accents...I think I even had my first Gaelic lesson yesterday too! :)

So I'm meeting TheScot for drinks after work tmrw & then an informal middle eastern cafe dinner if it's going well ( he's assuming this but I'm not... It is date zero after all)

Double dating with Jollyx lol :)

I hope all this weekend's dates are lovely... With lots of snogging (but not required for those of us on date zero!)

Yup a double date it is ocelot! though I have no idea what we are doing as in a wine-fueled bitch moment I told Karmic "to sort it out himself and impress me". But I gave in to a relaxed chat about nothing yesterday in exchange for the date planning.

Oh and food for thought, right before the massive snogging session on Tuesday we had a chat about hot actors/actress. Turns out he is into Zooey Deschanel. I am pretty much the opposite (bar the goofball tendencies), think Amy Schumer. And I am into Russell Crowe/Sam Heughan. He is the spitting image of Nigel Havers (according to the FB poll). Attraction is a very weird thing!

Freaky that sounds like a good plan, definitely do it from a "checking if we are a good match" place rather than "please reassure me you like me" place. It is early days, you are perfectly entitled to be in evaluation mode, it will not sound weird.

Waving loving the MTG developments!

Fox I like the spirit!

So having outfit angst already! I have a standard first date outfit that I'm comfortable in and feel I look good in. Dark skinny jeans, low nude heels and a white shirt. Basic, smart but not overdressed etc. But now I know we are going out for drinks in a large city centre on a Saturday night I'm wobbling over the jeans? I only do very dressy or this style of smart casual, what's in between!? Am just worried they may have a dress code in those sort of bars?

Ocelot, that's great news about the scottish date!

But he's being a bit labrador... :(
So I'm hanging out here before admitting I'm back from tennis (though its totally dark now!)
And since my kind colleague pointed out I'd set my feedback deadline too tight I've ditched the marking for a large glass of red...so all seems well with the world..:)

Hahaha Waving, it really is odd! And "dammit" is my favorite swear word.

Last it depends on the jeans TBH but as long as they are not shapeless, they are appropriate. There is a French saying about "really stylish people don't care about being underdressed. The real shame comes with being overdressed!" wear what makes you feel good.

A Labrador is a good sign ocelot! Enjoy!

I love your attitude JollyX 'sort yourself out and impress me' .

Ocelot I think that sounds good, I would absolutely love a Scottish labrador right now!! Want to swap irons?!

I love that about attraction Waving, sometimes it's so not what you expected.

I have a tinder match who I might send a message to tonight. I don't often do the first message but I'm a bit bored with my two main irons. I have lukewarm third and fourth irons, Marine who I think is just into banter, and Tram who is keen to meet but I'm sort of wishing I hadn't swiped him.

I know this is a bit bonkers but I finally plucked up up the courage to check GSM (not been on there myself since beginning of March after freaking out when he had been online, set up new login and password to take a sneaky peak) and Twix profile is now gone he's a man of few words and I'm not counting chickens but obviously very happy

Okay Fox what ya got?

This wine has SO gone to my head!
When I'm marking I'm strict (with myself - no-one else does it!) about not drinking in case it sways the mark or, as now, makes me think I can leave it for manana... :)

Hee hee ocelot really happy to hear you have a Scottish Labrador

Ocelot I'll swap you three of my four irons for TheScot , Apple who is lovely but hasn't got me swooning just yet, Marine who is very good at banter and Tram who is very steady and gentlemanly boring.

You can't have Leicester because, even though he lives miles away, he's the only one I actually fancy...

Excellent Handy that's always reassuring when their profile has gone.

I bolded Leicester's name - does that mean something subconsciously

Ok im saying this here while im trying very hard to not send messages to my younger than me iron but OMG i want to snog the pants off him!!
Ok now breath and collect yourself together woman

Okay Fox let's see if I'm ready to trade after tmrw :)
Just got another Labrador message... So just as well this wine is making me sleepy...

Haha ok Ocelot but I'm worried you will be bowled over by the Scottish labrador and I won't get a look in

muddling I love that feeling! It's great being able to post here so you can remain calm and collected in real life!

Im trying to not act over keen with messages but he is so easy to talk to. Might not be the same irl but im enjoying this while it lasts lol

muddling you enjoy it and go with the flow! Sometime just having an iron for banter and flirting practice is great! No pressure and FUN
ocelot date day! Go knock his socks off and don't forget loo update

Last, your outfit is similar to what I'm wearing to my date tomorrow (it's in an Edinburgh gin bar), think you'll be fine.

Well I have woken up feeling a bit meh - could be the marking rather than date? - but hopefully will gather up some enthusiasm as the day goes on... I could always just listen to one of his voice mails... :)

Morning! Re Twix I'm child free Tues eve.

My spidey senses are still on alert because he remains Mr Incredibly Laid back with communication. Went over this with a fine tooth comb with my therapist yesterday. Need to make sure I'm not repeating patterns, and falling for another Emotionally Unavailable man (like my stbxh). For example were in bed on Wednesday night after dtd and he brought up the subject of our child free weeks being out of sync at the mo. I said I could free up a weekend in May half term so we could spend a bit
more time together - he was kinda lukewarm about it.

So after putting out the idea of a weekend together and communicating my standard ok Sunday re the odd phone call - am going to see how he plays this and wait for something from him re Tues.

See there is still some angst re Twix. And my therapist says that's information for me to pay attention to. It's there for a reason. Because Amber/red flags are so easy to ignore in the beginning, aren't they.

Therapy is my absolutely lifesaver. You can't get this stuff from friends who are all in the 'just enjoy it' camp.

In the meantime I'm off with the kids to Suffolk to stay wit a friend. There will be wine and chatting and beaches in the cold and rain

Am so excited about all the dates this weekend and will be checking in!!!