Jump right in! It's Dating Thread 102

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

I've never been good at picking people up in bars/clubs etc but then, I've never really gone out with that attitude. When I did my pubbing/clubbing in my youth, it was all about having a good time with my friends, I used to get quite annoyed if men tried to talk to me!

I may go to a BMF (British Military Fitness) session tonight. I've had that recommended to me as a good way to meet men but it also sounds like a fun, social thing to do so see it as part of My Amazing Life for now. My week has been less than Amazing so far and I'm getting a bit twitchy!

314 coupled-up friends are just terrible advice-givers I think. I have done the waiting around thing for over a year before starting OLD and it does not work. Because you are not meeting anyone so obviously you can't get dates! And that approach is very boring and probably a little destructive for your self esteem too. It is a vicious circle. But then you can become a TVseries expert

On the other hand, I think the "it will happen when you least expect it" is actually a valid point if you don't conclude from it that you should wait and do nothing. Because it is true that if you do not expect the perfect man to come and fill the cookie cutter partner shape in your life you are more likely to give more people a chance, hence increasing the odds. And the less you obsess over finding this one guy, the more you live your amazing life, making you higher value.

And honestly I would challenge those coupled-up people, who think that Mr Right will obviously be delivered to your doorstep with a pretty bow around his neck, to each introduce you those decent men they know to be waiting around just for you. I think a "one decent guy a month" sounds a good challenge. keep swiping though!

Yikes! The Scot wants to meet...ive suggested Saturday. ..

Yay Ocelot! Details please!

Now meeting tmrw as friend cancelled on me :(
Better to meet before I have chance to think of running away! Obv really not invested either which is good
But I've just embarrassed myself hugely by accidentally playing part of our WhatsApp convo from last night to the whole office when I thought it was on headphones! [shame]

Ooh Yey Ocelot

Oh yes, meeting sooner rather than later is definitely for the best. I hope it wasn't anything saucy that you managed to play to the whole office...

Is the 2nd date too early fora "what are you looking for in a relationship?" type conversation? I'm fairly sure that me and Bacon are on the same page re what's important to us but it would be nice to have it confirmed (and if I could steer him to saying whether he's seeing anyone else or not, I'd be even happier but accept I have to chill my boots on that one for a while...)

ocelot I'm so pleased you are getting out there and have a date tomorrow! Whoop whoop, go you!
freaky if it were a different person/story I'd say a little early but for you and bacon I think it's a reasonable question and merely conformation of what you already know. When are you seeing him again?

I have a date! Let's hope this one doesn't cancel an hour before meeting, because it's taken me a whole bloody month and a heck of a lot of swiping/talking to idiots (NEXT!!) to get to the point of even this zeroith date! It's Saturday evening, we are going for drinks near him.

Saturday last and we did have a bit of a vague chat on the last date about how long we'd been single, that kind of stuff. I'll see what I can steer the conversation to, I think, without it sounding needy or mooseburgery. He's said, and shown, that he's quite an old-fashioned gent in lots of ways and I don't think he'd mess me around, I just want to emphasise how important honesty and communication are to me and let him take from that what he will....

Anyway...BLOODY WELL DONE for your date! Whoop! More details please!

Dates are coming thick and fast this weekend then, that's Ocelot out tomorrow, you and me out Saturday, Jolly's seeing Karmic (I think!)...anyone else?

Go Ocelot! Chuffed for you! Scots are a pretty awesome people.

I'm on the Saturday date rollcall too. X

I've got a date on Saturday too! Looks like it will be a busy weekend for this thread!

waving do you have toothbrushes at each other's houses yet? [Wink]
freaky nothing to get overly excited about, just mrfussy/lazy! Who actually appears to be highly trainable and underneath the muscles and what comes over as quite shallow there is a side to him that has surprised me. I'm not doing anything else Saturday and the practice will be good if nothing else! It feels good to be going on a date where I'm not emotionally invested at all and have no expectations! I'm actually looking forward to chatting face to face and seeing if he is better/different in person

And Waving, so pleased for you with how things are with MTG. It's like S* never happened!

Busy weekend indeed! I bloody love it!

Yay, lots of dates!

Ocelot well done! We'll be dating buddies I am seeing Karmic tomorrow

Yay for the active thread weekend. Or perhaps it will be slightly ghost townish, with you lot too busy being smoochy.

Ho hum, I'll still be here. MrComputer still working away

I'm seeing Apple on Sunday but I don't think I'll be swooning, he might be a grower though...

I agree with what everybody has said about coupled up people being completely crap at advice on dating, they have no clue how it works now. One work colleague suggested me texting my slow fader to ask if he wanted to meet, after all, what have I got to lose. I'd rather pull my own toenails out.

And others do say things like 'what are you dong on tinder, it'll happen, just be patient'

last I'm really pleased to hear about your date. Fingers crossed for this!

Handy woohoo nakedness!!

Ocelot TheScot sounds lovely, that accent definitely makes me weak at the knees. Can't wait for your loo update!

I'm still swiping, the lucky man who is going to share part of My Amazing Life hasn't appeared yet!

Freaky I think you and Bacon have enough communication between you to start a lighthearted chat about your views on what you want, you need to check you're on the same wavelength! I have a strong feeling you already are though!

Yeah, married friends have no clue. The amount of times I've been brightly told "oh, you should try on line dating!" like I am just going to register and immediately find an eligable man! Not.That.Easy. Luckily, my best friend gets it and dispenses excellent advice but is still having man trouble of her own so I've been avoiding dumping too much of my stuff on her at the moment (hence the excess angsting here...) We're having a wine-and-bitch session tomorrow night though.

I think me and Bacon probably are on the same wavelength really and I'm sure I can engineer a fairly lighthearted check on that. I just wanted to avoid a "so, where do you see this going?" conversation which is a bit much for a 2nd date! But Waving you're right, if he does freak at the mere mention of the R word then he's not for me anyway...

last a low expectation date sounds just the ticket. You can practice your skills on him and you never know, he might be better in person. Looking forward to the loo update!

His thread name is CurlyMuso, Waving, I was supposed to see him last Sunday, but had a self esteem wobble and persuaded myself that I wasn't interested anyway and made excuses. Chat continued though, and got lovely, and we rearranged. He has beautiful hair.

Aw, Waving that all sounds so lovely! Fuck Soho.