Jump right in! It's Dating Thread 102

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Well that was weird.
I was chatting to Grand Fromage, he asked me what I did for a living something fairly normal and pedestrian, nothing to be affronted by I answered him with a straight, polite answer and he's blocked and deleted me!
Ah well. Better off knowing now but strange I thought.

Oh dear Anna some men are just weird there's no point trying to understand that sort of bollocks.

Apple has changed some of his tinder photos. It's funny how, even though I'm not sure about him, I want him to be sure about me! If he's still swiping I suppose it'll be less painful if I don't want to see him again.

Anna that is weird. Nowt so strange as men folk though...

Shame I think you have done the right thing about Math. The whole thing sounds too complicated and potentially messy.

Foxtrot Apple sounds like the typical boy in a sweetie shop. Swiping Tinder while you are actually there is really not on. Is Marine an actual Marine?

freaky so glad it was a simple explanation re the phone! Well done for staying calm
fox that would actually really piss me off! Swiping tinder after Dtd and the bed is still warm? And you are still there? Just no.
anna there's some real head scratching moments isn't there? The amount of times I've sent a witty reply and nothing offensive whatsoever only to be then ignored or unmatched. I don't really care any more. Keep calm and carry on swiping!
Stalking for news of bacon date!!
Both my irons are very quiet read silent this evening so I'm dating the thread. Again!

shame forgot to say, you definately did the right thing but that doesn't make it any easier. Did math accept/agree with the end of things between you? Be kind to yourself and plan some nice stuff to distract.
harriet anything from your slow fader?

Yes last and Freaky the more I think about it, the more irritated I am! But I'm not that into him so it will help when I bin him off. I'm torn though, I think I want to see him again on Sunday. Whenever I've felt like this before though, it's never gone further than two dates, I should trust my instincts.

Marine used to be a marine

I have about 100 matches on tinder. No one talks! So this evening I have spammed sent a message to several men and had a few responses.
Does anyone else find people match but no one seems to talk much?

last not actually spoken to Math yet. We only communicate sporadically during the week and only found all this out yesterday (when STBXH and I were signing the divorce papers!!) I've got a deadline for tomorrow too so I'm going to get that out of the way and then contact him. He won't be bothered I expect only 4 dates in.

megs yes! Exactly that, I mean why ffs! What's the point of right swiping someone if you don't even want to chat, let alone meet up. I genuinely don't get it but it does my head in. I have had 25ish matches in my week on their and 2 conversations, nothing like a date! Ggrrrr
shame I think it sounds like your plan is a sensible one, but I do hope he IS bothered! What about the new tinder match who you had so much in common with? How's that panning out?

Yep Meg I have loads of matches and only had proper conversations with two of them. One of whom sent me a message today saying 'hi lovely how are you...blah blah' I replied and when he wrote back he gave me this massive spiel about how he was really down right now and had decided not to date So why message in the first place you fool?!?!

On the other hand I prefer my other iron but now I'm down to one and what happens if he loses interest I've gone mad. Really.

Ok so here is my update on irons!
Young iron (mmmm he is easy on the eyes) was at a sporting event today and messaged me straight after it finished to let me know and asked how my day was. We chat a lot its easy to do i dont feel any weirdness from him yet.
Older iron def has fake picture and name cant put my finger on it but he makes comments that ge then apologises for.
Army iron started chatting today and said if i was a good girl he would cook for me (resisted saying what do i get for being bad) then said if he cooked me dinner i owed him kisses. Not spoken to him tonight he is the one im trying to facebook stalk but had no luck.
Teacher iron has been messaging me all day a lot of innuendos cant figure out if he is telling the truth about being a teacher surely he cant be messaging me while in a class

Hi everyone,
I didn't feel the need to get in touch with the bearded guy from last night today, I think we both realised there wasn't going to be a second date...

My school is still off on Easter holidays this week muddlingalong so he could be the same...

I'm off to a wedding with a guy I met on Tinder this weekend, he invited me as his plus one and I'm not sure I should have agreed! This is date 6 and we've not had any kind of chat about where things are going yet. He's changed his photos/ bio as recently as today... but I was on a date with someone else last night so I can't really complain!

Aaaahhhhhhh lovely lovely Twix date

Time doesn't half fly, I tell you. Arrived 1930, left 2330 - it felt like 1.5hrs!

We spent ages (so it seems) chatting. He revealed stuff about his dc that I've already gone through with my dc. I had a suspicion something was up there - it's very up. I had been in no hurry to disclose my story either. We kind of picked up on very subtle/random stuff on either side and he teased my story out then told his. Weird - I think he's a bit like me, as in somewhat wary about disclosing tricky stuff. He quizzed me more about the NZ letter situation. All in all it feels like a lovely thing. We got naked (oops) and he was - great. Complimentary. More chatty (I need that - it's a me thing) and that's amazing. And feels so comfortable. Shame to have to drive home -can't have it all eh....

Will catch up with everyone in the morning.... Cup of tea and bed for me!

What lovely swoony updates from handy and waving!!
The 2 of you are why I keep swiping, it's so nice to read success stories amongst all the madness and let downs!
Yay for the swoon bench

I was told to close down my account yesterday.

But why would i do that?! I coukd have met bear anywhere.

Should i wait for it to happen when i least expect it? (Hasnt in nearly 9 years of being single. The odd short doomed tov ail relationship aside)

Should i wait to meet someone thru friends!!!??
(All of my friends tell me it's the way to meet somebody. They must mean other friends, not them.)

happy for handy and waving :-)

Which account 314? Told by who (sorry, being thick, bit hungover which I should be since I drove last night)????

Meet someone in real life???

It might be 'best' to meet someone IRL but OLD massively shortens the odds, surely?

Are you having a major wobble, 314?

FWIW I think you are doing amazingly well.

for you...... Bit early for cake but who cares

Never too early for cake!

My pof a/c!
I was telling the dr creepy with the great view story and ok, that wasnt following the safety handbook for women to the letter but i had been tje one who had communicted with him sporadically for six months. I hadnt detected any anger bitterness or misogyny from him in that time.

Basically i trusted my judgement.

Also, the bear thing. But i feel ok surprisingly. I just know that knowing he didnt want me as a gf would have begun to fuck with my head. I dreaded making this decision and now ive made it i do feel better.

ps I agree in theory that rl is best, but I could be waiting and waiting and waiting.

I don't think that my friends factor in the judgement that I use. I think people trust in their own judgement, but not necessarily their friend's judgement. I'm not sure. But shutting down my POF account won't help me. It's just giving up. And why? because it didn't work out instantly? because I met Bear through POF?? I met a bf through work once and I didn't stop going to work :-p

I also had helpful suggestions to go to meet up events but there is one I looked at and all the attendees were women. Some of them had clearly met up before and they don't sound like a bad bunch at all! but........... an event with 18 females and 2 males, the organiser and one socially dysfunctional friend of his (:-p) is not going to lengthen the odds is it!?

I will go to a meet up thing before the end of the summer though. I had said that I would anyway, you know.

314 OLD (for me) is just one ASPECT of having a full and varied life (the Amazing life if you are MH) because getting out there and meeting people always broadens your horizons and helps you grow and develop and finely tune your relationship skills, have fun and remain open to new experiences. We learn and get stuff out of every encounter with another human being. It's about using this time for self growth and development. Our friends have a different agenda. And probably 'look down on' OLD. They want you coupled up NOW without the bumps in the road. Or the learning or the growth. Because that challenges them (look at the bust up I had with my ex best friend in January). But the bumpy boys are the bits that teach us the most.

You could easily have met Bear in some venue or bar. Meeting people IRL doesn't protect you from idiots - I met my SAHP ex in real life. And look where that got me! Ten years of pain!!

So crack on, 314 as you were, and more morning

Climbs off soap box....

was supposed to read bumpy bits eek!!! Hahaha!

Feeling philosophical this morning, as well as hungover...

314 the best meetups to meet men are probably eg cycling but you'd have to be into bikes otherwise it would be torture! The live music group here is mostly men & good for hearing about gigs... I didn't fancy anyone but it could happen (except I haven't been for years...)

And yes I'm so sick of 'advice' from smug marrieds who have completely forgotten what its like 'out there' Grr!

Was WhatsApping TheScot last night & he suddenly sent a voice message - swoony accent & I couldn't stop laughing as I'd not used the voice function before (such a dinosaur!) I could imagine meeting just to listen to his voice... & to distract me from my #LadyofShalott act.... :(

Morning all!

I am actually not wigging out today I have a couple of minor concerns creeping in but I think that's healthier than the smitten swoonieness of earlier in the week. Still looking forward to Sat!

314 I'm not sure what shutting down your PoF account would achieve! You're totally right, you could have met Bear anywhere and you can only do what we can all do, which is get out there, meet people and trust your instincts. And accept that sometimes your instincts might be wrong.

Ocelot TheScot sounds promising. Love a swoony Celtic accent

Handy Sounds like an amazing date with Twix. And bless you for popping in at 1am to update us!

Waving Things sound really good with MTG. I'm so pleased for you!