Jump right in! It's Dating Thread 102

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Genius Tigsy, that's exactly what I'll send!

Good luck with the date, going on the success rate on this thread it will go well!

Oh Tigsy enjoy your date

Well, date later. We've been emailing whatsapping too much (imo) since Wednesday and now the day of the date, silence. But it's only 12.30. I'll just send a message at about five to say, see you later.

This date is the first I'm heading out on since meeting Bear where I am honestly just looking forward to seeing if I'm attracted to this guy. I'm not wishing that I 'didn't have to' date. I listened to Amy Young's clip about 20 times and it's working, I'm just getting turned off by the online chat that isn't backed up by any regular physical contact. I need more than emailing. It's not that sex makes me love him becuase that' is so occasional. It's that the constant communication makes me want sex.

Ocelot Yes I'll be careful not to perform. I think I did that with H. I wanted him to like me so much that I was this exaggerated version of myself. I'm just going to be myself tonight. I am calm. Usually I only chime in if I have something relevant or funny to say. I'm a good listener, I ask questions, I listen, I react (with humour/sympathy). The real me is easier to be around (long term) than the bloody pantomime version I pull out of the hat sometimes on first dates. All my stories, supervivacious, super cheerful! argh.

Ocelot even if we don't fancy each other, he seems like a nice man and quite respectful. Even if we never meet again, I really doubt I'll be shuddering (like when I met the pilot!). I am grateful you told me to contact him again, no matter what happens next!

I am seriously crushing on Mr Hippie. I saw a video of him talking and he has the most beautiful voice. We are whatsapping now and nothing from him for 20 hours but he is away with friends. Sitting on my hands and making him send me the first message.

I was messaging a barber who seemed really cool and alternative but he started heaping on the compliments in a way (about my body!) that made me feel super uncomfortable. I stopped engaging with them and now he's ignoring me! Why is it the men who pay you the most attention are usually the secret misogynists?

So I heard nothing yesterday and don't expect to hear anything now. that was the first day in 6 weeks we haven't spoke! He also hasn't opened any snapchats since Friday. Ah well. I'm gutted but I've learnt to never fall so quick for somebody again!

harriet sorry to hear that. I am bracing myself for this also :( it's so hard isn't it! I am very much a messaging person and fall for somebody just because of how they write.

Ok, Harriet time to take the bull by the horns and delete this man from your contacts. You'll feel better, I guarantee it. Go distract yourself with Amy Young or MH vids. And with swiping.

Yay Waving welcome back! Sounds like it's going to be tricky from hereon in to give much away re MTG. Can you name change? You clearly had a lovely time - hurray. No mean feat at such an early stage.

Dunno re love-bombing, I think you just have to see how it unfolds, presumably he was reassuring when you had your wobble??

My own update is that things are still the same with Twix. Am in the middle of an 11-day Twix drought but we're making plans for Wednesday. If I'm honest I bloody wish he'd tell me he likes me and/or pick the phone up a bit more but I'm hoping there will be some progression on Wednesday. I think (hope) the issue is we don't open up to each other very fast, emotionally. And he might be shy. Still trying to get the measure of the man. I keep wanting to fast forward because of this residual insecurity but I'm also very happy because he still communicates loads by text and in a lovely way, and am still 150% smitten.

We would normally see each other about about twice a week. We had plans to meet last thurs but his work made it impossible. The 11 day thing is unusual and couldn't be helped. We are now out of synch though weekends wise. Things will take a bit more planning. And I think I need to know he's slightly committed if we need to step up with logistics. I think he is, but don't know. I don't know why though, he texted today that he is going to leave work early on Wed to 'optimise the evening' which kind of indicates he cares. I dunno what's wrong with me really.

I agree waving you've not posted anything on MN that would come as a surprise to him.

During the 11 day drought he doesn't pick up the phone either. I called him frinand left a voicemail. He then left me one. Then nothing.

waving Did he just see that one of the sites you visit regularly is mumsnet? or did he become aware of the dating thread somehow? does he know your screen name!?

Anyway, he sounds lovely!

I'm 25% concerned that after all the texting I'm being blown out tonight. After 5 days of texting and emailing non-stop, I'm wondering if he's ''bottling it'' just before the date! I just sent one ''see you later''. No insecure shit like ''are we still on for later?'' or ''is everything ok?''. Just texted him MY confirmation that I will be there. It's delivered but not seen. Maybe he's gardening or dog-walking or something.

waving great to see your update and have you back but boo to you not posting as much! It all sounds fabulous, long may it continue!!
314 how irritating, I've seen this a lot with less contact on meet up day! I hope he confirms soon
handy half way! At least the text communication is good and makes up for it somewhat
harriet distract yourself and get some new irons on the burn!

Lunch date was good, he's better looking than his photos, so that's a first!! Very easy to talk to, I liked him, not sure about fancy yet but that could grow. If I was being picky - he is quite skinny.

My RL iron has texted to tell me all the things I want to hear and promising that he doesn't want to mess up. Think I will just carry on with both and continue weighing it all up.

Welcome back Waving you've being gone for what seems like an age.

Hello everybody and welcome back Waving!! Brilliant to hear your news and how well it's going.

For me, in summary, I've had a couple of non irons where the chat hasn't gone anywhere. My main iron recently was Crumpet but after two dates and poor texting on his part, it has fizzled out. But luckily I'm not concerned as I'm not hooked on him. I did swoon on the first date briefly but that could've been the Peroni .

last I've done that before, lowered my standards and swiped a few randoms then forgotten who they were when we matched! Now I swipe only ones I think I'll properly like. But it's not a time of plenty on tinder in the north west at present!! I have another match I chat to but he lives in Leicester so I'm not even counting him as an iron.

314 I hope everything goes well later (I'm sure he would've said by now if he was going to bail!).

Freaky I'm trying to soak up some of your positivity!

Sassy I think I will join you on the bench. I'm not quite finished with tinder yet but I'm not being that proactive. A few swiping sessions but I'm not initiating any messages. So I'm sort of giving myself a semi break!

Tigsy both of those sounds promising, it's early days so I don't think there's a problem with continuing to weigh things up.

I've been waiting for the next date to assuage my doubts for AGES. I'm ok in the immediate afterglow of each date. Then it goes down hill.

I've been burying mooseburgers deep underground. For ages. Maybe it's time to TELL HIM but then my brain kicks in and my friends tell me 'five weeks is nothing' and I end up telling myself to man up and chill out.

I've basically fallen for him and I can't handle this casual malarkey.

What the hell would I say to him though?

Oh god. Really sorry. More angst from me....

"I'm ok in the immediate afterglow of each date. Then it goes down hill."

Handy, that's EXACTLY how I felt when I was seeing Walt. I only wish I could advise you on how to deal with it (I never worked out how to).

Waving, it all sounds fab with you and MTG. To be able to spend that long in each other's company has to be a very good sign!

Tigsy, that sounds promising. If it's not a definite "no" on the fancying front, I'd definitely see him again and see if the attraction grows.

314, I really hope he isn't bottling it! Hopefully he'll confirm soon. That text you sent sounds just right.

Harriet, I'm sorry, I know how much it hurts when you like someone. Easier said than done, but ... onwards and upwards!

Mmmm, have you met Mr Hippie yet?