Jump right in! It's Dating Thread 102

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Good point about M 314 I half hope I'll see him & wonder how I could have loved that man so much... But to break the spell I do have to see him! I'm 99% certain he'll be at the gig on 24/4 as be introduced me to this band ... So if not before - then! I can wait - I'm patient... It says so in my new profile :)

Right. Given that I ballsed it up yesterday I have written an actual list today so I can name check you all and hopefully get it right.

Bonjour velour

So 7pm tomorrow then Freaky? That's T-32.5 hours as I make it.

DrFoxtrot I think crumpet has had his chance, I'd leave him for now and keep swiping.

Your date with MrDiamons sounds good Lacoba I'm thinking of you wrt the possible redundancy situation, it's a rough one.

Even if you can't see him that was a lovely post about Twix Handy can you call him?

Sorry about MrThursday Trills

314 my married friends love the details of my dates but they really don't understand what it's like and they don't know or care about the housekeeping involved in OLD.

An overnight date Shame? Good for you, have a great time.

Harriet I agree with MrsRoland, he's simmering you.

Princess you have a good date too.

Can I also add to the weight of people saying avoid pilots? Including Forces ones.

I'm often sober on dates because I live outside of civilisation in a quiet area and have to drive everywhere.

To people who laughed about my date with NotBanksy last night that's ok, I was laughing too. Sadly Freaky I've had worse first dates
I did have high hopes for him but that's the way it goes.

So I'm left with...
SirVan - we're going out tomorrow night as mates and nothing more. He sent me message to say he was coming off OLD so I suggested a mates drink, we're messaging a bit, I've drawn clear lines which I suspect he's going to try to break but I'll go and see. It'll be good to get out of the house and be able to walk to a date for once.
Charidee - is still messaging but next time I see him I'm going to friendzone him, his home and ex wife situation is still too much of a mess for him to be in a relationship.
Captain Jack Sparrow - is still away with his son but he texts all the time. I like him but I don't think he's my kind of man, as I said a few posts ago he likes Jeremy Clarkson, which tells me all I need to know about our relationship potential really. We have a walking date next week but I think we'll just meet up for walks.
Bloodaxe - texts every evening despite being away walking up in remote areas. He has potential. I'll see how it unfolds.

If I have no success with that lot, Bloodaxe is the only possible I think, then I'll go back on POF, catch a load of irons as before, then pare the list down and off I go again.

I feel bad now! I told him he was a rubbish texter last night. He replied saying he is really sorry and he's not had a spare minute this week, and he was up all night last night with his child who was crying. He did send a fairly lenghty text and he knows now that I think his texting has been poor. I am going to wait a while before I reply though.

Harriet DO NOT FEEL BAD! He is a rubbish texter. I absolutely refuse to believe he's not had a spare minute all week . Kids sleep, they watch TV, they've even been known to play by themselves for a few minutes. I even sometimes take my phone into the bathroom to catch a few DS-free minutes to mooch on FB etc. And I've had texts from irons when I'm busy with DS and it takes two seconds to reply "Sorry, in Mum-mode at the moment but I'd love to chat later this evening if you around?"
I'm not saying don't give him a chance as you had a nice date and you sound really into him, just remember your standards include a greater level of communication than he is currently delivering.

Anna 7pm tomorrow indeed. God, I so hope it's not going to be a massive let down. Even Bacon was saying last night "I really hope this banter translates to real life cos it would be awesome if it did" but I think we both know that it doesn't always...

I'm with you, I don't think I could fancy a Jeremy Clarkson fan. But you sound as though you are getting a few drinking/walking buddies out of OLD which can't be a bad thing. How on earth did Bloodaxe get that name?!

Princess Enjoy your date later!

Ocelot Enjoy your gig. I hope that M is there and sees you in the company of a good looking man! Hah!

Thanks Anna & DrFoxtrot he texted to suggest coffee in 40 mins so am frantically getting ready!

Freaky True! I have friends with children and I text them regularly. I will just leave it a few hours before I reply to him. If I was only half interested I wouldn't be that bothered, but sadly I am really into him! I'll play it cool

Good luck Princess!

Harriet I agree with what Freaky said and I think she put it really well with 'your standards include a greater level of communication than he is currently delivering'. I must repeat this to myself often! I've found it much easier with Crumpet because I'm not into him, I really feel for you, I've been there in the not too distant past!

Anna fingers crossed Bloodaxe has potential. I'm trying to gather irons over here but it's a bit slow at present!

Hi everybody! Long time lurker, realised that ex will be messing me around about getting divorced for a very long time so if I wait I may be waiting forever!

I'm really picky and so far have messaged one guy off Bumble who ended up living really far away from me, he was only in my city for the weekend visiting family. We messaged for absolutely ages then I realised he was never going to end up in my city to live so what was the point!

Have another guy on Plenty of Fish who is absolutely so my type it is unbelievable!! I really fancy him. He's a single dad who shares custody but has been having a pretty hard time of it. I don't know if that is a red flag or not, I have survived an abusive relationship and somebody not speaking very nicely about the mother of their child rings alarm bells for me. But he's fab, really hippie and alternative. Ahhhhh what to do. He's taken ages to reply to my last message so who knows.

Fox I think I will back off a little now and see how he plays this. He is back at work next week so see if things pick up a little. He knows i aren't too impressed with the lack of texting now. We live 90 minutes apart, he has no reason to keep texting if he wasn't bothered at all tbh, so I will let him do some chasing...

I still haven't replied yet and this is an achievement for me haha! I used to speak to my ex from waking up until going to sleep, so it's all very different for me now.

Kay that sounds promising to me :)

Godspeed Princess

Freaky Bloodaxe - from Eric Bloodaxe, a viking. Captain Pugwash was because he owns a sailing boat and it was the first thing that came to mind! Captain Jack Sparrow because in our early conversation he said he'd been to a fancy dress party the night before dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. The names I give my irons are usually fairly literal but I try for cryptic too.

Hi everyone

Shame and Jollyp In case you need it the MH "exclusivity" line is something along the lines of "I have other guys asking me out - should I tell them I have a boyfriend?". I have not tested that one in RL though but I can see it working really well.

Harriet the only thing to do is to back off, keep a distance, don't reply straight away and be breezy and bitchy. He needs to be the one doing the pursuing AND meet your standards like Freaky said.

Re men pulling away a little after a date: I think WMLB and MH and pretty much every single love guru out there say it is their way of testing us and the dreaded neediness. Looking back on the dates I had, they all have set up their little "needy trap" one way or another... And I fell in there more than once (Maple and IKEA spring to mind)! So watch out guys. If they don't text as much, don't send multiple texts asking what is wrong. If they don't mention date #2 straight away, don't Sherpa them into asking you out (that's where I failed. Twice). Ignore, live your amazing life in which you don't need them, be breezy ..and avoid the trap.

OMG Anna, what an absolute ass.

Enjoy your dates Princess and Shame!

Ocelot enjoy the gig and walk that hot non-date date around

I remember you, welcome back!

Happy Friday everyone!

Thank you ladies! I'm back and, as expected, it was fine but I don't think either of us was massively interested... He's attractive but clearly not in to me which meant I wasn't in to him! Aaah well at least he's been crossed off the list

Jolly that's a great line from MH. I think I'm going to use it tonight but omit the 'boyfriend' word (because it scares the shit out of me) and say 'I've had 2 guys (inc. my ex) ask me out this week (that is true) and it's felt a bit awkward. I've said no because I'm seeing you and just wondered if you are on the same lines re dating others?' Does that sound wanky?

I'm getting my period and feel bloated so I've been to M&S and bought some Bridget knickers and a vest to put under my dress tonight. I think maybe I will pull the moose burgers back a bit tonight and see how Math copes with that. He's not had a chance to sulk yet and it would be interesting to see his reaction.

Shame I think that sounds fine. I feel the same about the boyfriend word, and I also feel too old to have a "boyfriend" anyway! I think I will almost certainly bottle out of asking tonight, but I'll be armed and ready with the correct phrase when the time comes!

Oh oh!!! I have 2 irons!!!!! Both Tinderittes.

That sounds perfect Shame. I think the gist of it is 1) I have options 2) but out of them all I am choosing you 3) on the condition that you are choosing me too. I wouldn't give a precise number of suitors though, he does not need to know

Okay, omit the number and just have generic guys then.

I'll probs bottle it too jolly as I think I'm all brave and strong wooooooman and then I see him and the nerves and general butterflies kick in and then I turn into this zen calm weirdo

How is the nerves/excitement level for your date tonight? Weird that it's jolly & shame going in dates polar opposites!

jollyjumper thanks! It feels a bit manipulative to say I have options but I don't want them but I don't want you to either but I will try to do it coolly (yeah right!).

cleo who are the irons?

handy you are being quiet! Ring ring.

anna bloodaxe is a bloody right name for an iron!

Yeah I've been quiet, I had to chair a mammoth 2.5hr meeting this morning. And I DO NOT feel grown up enough on the inside for that. And was v preoccupied. Although it was fine....

He replied that he is now on his way to a meeting. And so am I.

So I'll call him when I get home. Just as I'm on my way out.... MH style.....

Can't believe I'm still MH-ing Twix after 5 weeks! I guess that's the world of dating for ya...

134 @sunsoutgunsout6

I'm a total bastard for internet stalking social media platforms pre first date. It's utterly pointless because I think yay/nay on someone based on it, meet them and I do a u turn. I can't stop the digging though! It's fun ha!

handy chairing meetings and adulting is good when you are on a countdown. I haven't even seen any MH but I'm MH'ing Math by proxy of this thread! Can someone PM me the FB group details please (wow, I've been very shy about asking that!).

314, I am sooooo guilty of doing that shit! Hilarious!

Shame pm your name as it appears on Facebook and brief description of your profile pic and I will add you as a friend then to the FB group.

314 Loving that Youtube channel!! Useful and funny. Know of any others like it?