Jump right in! It's Dating Thread 102

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

I have some words scarf but I'll save them til the morning
It's all part of the magic roundabout of OLD

Oh my goodness Anna a short bald Lovejoy who made you buy him a pint hahahaha. I love it - another one for the memoirs!

So, he never replied! I'm going to leave it and let him get in touch. I'm really pissed off to be honest because I've had such mixed signals.

Oh no Anna! That definitely belong on the "worst first dates" thread. Hope you had a good time with your friends though

Bloody hell, Anna - what a sh1t date he was. Thank goodness you were able to meet your friends straight after, that's a godsend. I would need to 'decompress' from such a terrible date.

Feeling better about the Twix drought. I will call him today in the midst of my amazing life. It'll be a breezy MH style 3 minute phonecall. While his kids this weekend he'll be fascinated about what I'm up to...

Thanks ladies for bolstering me!!! I agree this thread is unique support from People Who Know.

Yesterday I discussed in therapy how difficult and insecure OLD is because you have such a myopic view of people when you meet them this way.

It makes The Thread vital.

Is waving back today?

Who is dating today?

Happy Friday all...

anna I'm sorry for your absolutely shocking date, but it did make me chuckle sorry! It's the way you tell it!
harriet please step waaaaay back and let him persue you. Don't send anymore texts and leave some time inbetween replies. He needs to see you as less available, he will wither step up or step out.
handy update us after twix phone call!

Well I was messaging a rather interesting bullshitter man last night from POF
He was apparently a dancer/performer in cats and starlight express and now works at London Zoo with the big cats! He's either the luckiest guy ever or a complete fantasist! Of course I suspect the latter, and went straight onto Google. I found his FB page easily and Instagram, lots of photos of him rollerblading at various parks but no show photos, his name doesn't come up linked to either show on Google. His profile/banner photo is indeed London zoo but he could be a poo sweeper who rollerblades at the local disco on a Friday night for all anyone knows!! So those with excellent detective skills, other than what I've hunted down, how do I prove it as BS? He was keen to carry on chatting today...

Ah yes, our mutual friend who was in love with her, she found out! She saw marks on my neck in class And was very upset, but now is ok, though have been talking to her and she says she is 'burying her feelings' :(
Am moving abroad at the end of the academic year so just not worth launching into a relationship. We're just 'seeing each other'/'friends'/'fuckbuddies'.......
I was the one who went abroad and yes have spent a small fortune keeping in touch well, I assume, I'm scared to check my bill. I'm really surprised she's coming to stay, 6 hours on a horrible coach, but v. happy... she is this dynamic, magnetic, addictive force to me & I can't help it.
but we have about a month together after exams in the same halls and it sounds a bit idyllic, the prospect :)

MrsLannister but crumpets sweating with Kerrygold yum
I'd wear your heels, rock them, and enjoy more chat in person, you never know

Handy a film shoot very glam...love your smittenness shining through in your post, warms the cockles! All sounds so positive and even the pining has a silver lining usually. Enjoy London!

Harriet I get really worked up about late replies too, wish I didn't. I have been known to take a siesta in order to pass the time so I don't keep checking my phone....have you mentioned it to him at all? Maybe if he knows you actually notice the time he takes to reply he might buck up a bit, atm he might just not realise how you feel & might be thinking you're a laidback type like he is. I wouldn't take it personally.

JustEat I would be disappointed if I was promised a Chablis drinking partner and one did not materialise! LOL at 'I've always been a bit special' smidge of an ego showing through there
I have one friend who hardly drinks, which is actually mostly because he always comes to mine driving, and I like it when people are 'uptight' about not drinking with driving to be honest. Otherwise we're basically still a load of Freshers
Ooh pity you're not a sporner though!

Shame I am in Yorkshire for a bit (Easter hols) eyup!

Oh I lean heavily on RL people, I simply can't keep anything inside, I have my main offloader friend who gets regular saga updates and ditto with hers.....am currently trying to get her to LTB, she's so fab, sparky and original and deserves a lovely relationship finally but these loser arseholes keep messing her around

DrFoxtrot dear god. I hope you can't tell who's seen your Instagram!!

Anna oh christ. Should've been a half pint for him! at 'one for the memoirs'

OH Anna! "imagine a short bald man dressed in the style of lovejoy".
ha ha ha ha! you did welll to get away after one coke. I would have bought him two pints in my haste to get away.

ocelot - I see your point and I wouldn't have minded standing outside if he'd put our name down for a table. But he'd not even spoken to the person allocating tables to see how long it would be. No initiative.

I have date number 3 tonight.
It's all going well, lots of communication in between dates.
I'm wondering - is it way too soon to have a tentative "exclusivity" chat? I have another iron (who I haven't met yet) in the background but I much prefer date3man, and will happily put the other one on the back burner if date3man is doing the same. But if he's dating other people then I should too. Time is limited and I'd like to know!

Anna what a nightmare date! I can't believe that people tell such blatant lies on their profile. What's the point? Stretching the truth slightly is one thing, but pretending you're a totally different person is crazy!

Velour I said to him yesterday, text me back! And he said sorry, i will do, my kids just left me tired. He didn't though. He replied later on around 8pm to something totally different via snapchat.

My friends IRL have all said he must just be busy and he wouldn't be still talking to me at all if he wasn't interested but I can't help but think the worse. it takes 2 minutes to reply to somebody. Maybe I'll have to grin and bear it for a while longer and see if he actually shows interest again. Surely he wouldn't apologise and give a reason for slow replies if he was doing it on purpose?!

I feel so silly for going on about it and insecure!

Anna what a deluded man...I wonder how many dates he's had where he was found out like this...and he hasn't learnt!

No sign of a date here - still conversing with teacher but SO slow I'm losing interest - but going to a gig tonight with friend's goodlooking husband (not for the first time!) which is pertinent in case I run into M as its our favourite venue...& more gigs there the next 2 weekends...

Shame whereabouts in Yorkshire are you? You can PM that if you don't want to say here....

Anna, for the text, how about

"you're not at all what I was expecting. Good luck in your search"

oh good Ocelot that's great that you have a (handsome) companion for the gig. I really hope that Music will be there and see you.

But maybe that will happen and you'll realise that you can't muster up the energy to care about M for much longer. I think one day soon you are going to wake up and think eM shmem

harriet I'd be inclined to think the worst too.
Either he's not that into you.
Or he likes you but is terrible at texting - in which case maybe you are not that into him.

Apologising only means that he's not fully decided to stop talking to you - it doesn't mean that he's necessarily going to step up and be more proactive. He might, but there's no guarantee.

Harriet I agree with trills. I honestly think he's probably simmering you.
Keeping the temperature just warm enough to keep you hanging on. Personally I would just not pursue him anymore, don't push the second date talk/text. Men go after what they want. And if he wants you he knows where to find you.

Guys who have been into me and it's turned into a relationship have always pursued me, and I've never had to second guess them. They never ever gave me mixed signals or had me scratching me head.

Anna date sounds awful. What a cheeky twat asking for you to buy him a pint!

Trillis It was only tuesday evening he said he wants to see me again. I am so annoyed!

Roland I won't contact him again

Harriet You're not silly! But I am afraid I agree with everyone else. I'm sure he likes you and does want to see you again but he's just assuming that you'll be around when he's ready and he's got a bit lazy, which is not great so early on.
Nobody can be that busy with kids that they don't have time to send the odd text...if they wanted to.

anna lovejoy!!!! A lying bald tightarse small lovejoy who moaned constantly. You did well to not throw the pint over his head! Cheeky so and so.

ocelot I'll PM you. I tend to over share on here so pinpointing my location publicly might be a bit silly haha!

Ey up velour how's tha diddling?

jolly I'm on date 4 tonight and I'm wondering the same about a tentative 'So, been on any other dates shagging anyone else?' conversation too. We've known each other just over a month so I can't decide whether I'm being a bit previous. I don't think date 3/4 is too early to ask if you should be dating others or not is it?

trills anymore dates lined up? Oh proficient one?

harriet is back off majorly now. Get some more irons! Ask trills and anna for iron tips they are the iron queens.

last London Zoo man sounds positively bonkers! Is meet up with him and be equally as fantastic with my tales haha!

314 you wouldn't have bought the small lovejoy 2 pints you'd have poured one on his head!

foxtrot what is the crumpet situation?

Finally handy let us know about the twix phone call, 10 days now! Chalk it up! and freaky is bacon tonight or tomorrow? This first date update is going to be epic!!!

I aren't going to text him now and I will see what he does. It will be a shame if he never contacts me as I did like him loads! I'm off out tonight, take my mind off things.

I've just arranged a date for this afternoon! A guy who I matched with on Tinder in January, he was here for a job interview but lives about four hours away. He's now here house-hunting... I'm not expecting too much as I've had to initiate contact, suggest meeting up etc. and some of his banter has been a bit too flirty! Plus he sent me a hilarious pouty bare chested selfie a while ago and I get the impression he has quite a few women lined up for when he moves... But he's quite entertaining and I've nothing better to do while I'm off work and it will take my mind off Thursday Night Cocktails guy...

Shame Crumpet briefly texted yesterday about everyday chatty things but no mention of getting together again. I'm not going to initiate any conversations or dates with him. If he really wanted to I'm sure he would. I actually think he's the worst slow fader ever...

Velour I love the way you write your posts . I don't think you can tell who has viewed your Instagram although there are apps that reckon to tell you so. I'm afraid I went as far as downloading an app and trying it on my daughters Instagram as I don't have it and I think it's a load of rubbish. Hopefully haha!!

JollyP good luck for date3 tonight! It's difficulty the exclusivity talk and I think it depends on the man, each situation is different. If I ever went on date 3 with Crumpet I don't think I'd have the chat with him yet because I'm not at that point, I haven't reached the MH emotional hook point yet.

Princess good work, have a good date today.

Harriet I think you are being slow faded. Back right off as others have said and he might turn it back around. Get busy and distracted with your amazing life, it's the only way.

last I think the stalking you've done so far is excellent! I'm not sure what else you can do but at least you've got enough info to know he is erring on the side of BS. You can take everything with a massive pinch of salt.

Hello everybody else!