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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher

999 replies

Mouseface · 30/03/2016 00:05

Hi, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're delighted to have you here :) Not because if you're new to the Babes you are here for help, but because we welcome every kind of drinker. And for all of the reasons life throws at you.

Those that do drink, those that don't drink and of course those who do but don't want to say just how much..............

We've all had our own personal Groundhog Day , some still are and don't want to remain trapped in the same cycle day in, day out, and some still are and want to be which is fine and why we're here.

To talk, to listen, to just be us, like you are YOU. You never know, one day you might just want to wake up on a different day? :) There's no judging here, no 'sides.

After all, something made you click on and read this :)

Come say hi! We even do Brew & Cake if you're super quick!!

And if you want to see what we got up to in the last thread, have a look RIGHT HERE

And this is where our adventure began, almost six years ago now!!

ALMOST SIX YEARS AGO...........

OP posts:
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ClaretAndBlue30 · 21/04/2016 21:00

ma glad it went well.

lala don't apologise. I hope you are doing ok this evening and that you enjoyed your ride. I like that you've named your wine witch, I just refer to mine as bitch - that's all she deserves Wink

Day 4 here and ready for bed. Just watched a very unsettling murder trial documentary...not ideal before bed!

Hope all you gorgeous babes are ok.

Elba84 · 21/04/2016 22:11

will how are you doing? Hope you're ok and not suffering any effects from the meds!

claret day 4 is brilliant! Do you think the health eating and excercise helps with the drinking? I know when I've been excercising loads it seems to give me extra control with the other stuff...need to get back into it really! Thank you for all your lovely encouraging words to me, big hugs, you're amazing!

bloody how are you doing tonight?

pop lovely to see you back! Hope things are starting to settle down after the move.

baby so much of what you write rings true. Especially "it started as my magic elixir and became a poison I used to self harm". That just sums things up for me at the moment. I can't live with or without alcohol, I can't cope long term without numbing myself and my thoughts but at the same time it's causing so much fear and I know it makes me feel worse. Sorry you're struggling with the quetiapine...I was on a very low dose of it a few years back for anxiety, and even at that dose I can remember the constant need to eat carbs! It's really unfair that so many of these drugs cause weight gain, as if we didn't feel crap about ourselves enough already!!! All your posts mean so much, you are such an inspiration and doing so well. You have given me so much insight and made me feel I'm understood, so huge thanks and hugs xxx

Had a lovely lunch and shopping today with my best friend, but had to fight back tears as well. She is pregnant with twins (and I'm so genuinely happy for her) but it just brought home what I want and what I'm missing. Felt really selfish but had to leave a shop for a cigarette when the assistants were cooing over her or I would of cried. Hate to admit it but I'm jealous, and also scared of what might not happen. I'm in my 30s and too screwed up to be in a relationship at the moment, plus I may well have fucked up my fertility through years of drinking and eating disorders.

I'm on nights tomorrow and Saturday, and drinking tonight. My second AF night this week will be an AF morning after work. Next week I'm going to try for 3 AF nights, and from there I guess I just have to try and join them up. I'm too scared to stick my head back in the sand, which I suppose is a positive.

Sorry for the essay, night lovely babes! Xxx

laladidah · 21/04/2016 22:42

Oh Elba!!!! You actually made me cry! You sound like such an amazing person, you deserve the best! Don't be sad, you. Never know what is going on behind closed doors and all that... Two of the happiest couples j knew ( and was bridesmaid at both their weddings), they have split up... It isn't all as it seems...

Sorry, that didn't make much sense. Just trying to make the point that you seem like a super lovely caring person, and you will find someone right for you. Argh, condescending much! Ya know what I mean.

Had an eventful night, my sister got picked up by the police a-fecking-gain, and brought back here. I got blamed, screamed and shouted at and so did the puppy (?!) so I have opened the wine. Not good. Lovely people who have suggested I move out of this toxic (and that's what it is), it's easier said than done. Z

Anyway, work in the morning. Wine is on the go. I just knew I couldn't make it two nights sober in a row. Such a failure Sad

Bloodybloodyhell · 21/04/2016 22:54

Thanks Elba xx Am drinking. 😞

laladidah · 21/04/2016 23:07

will me too Sad are you still on the meds?

laladidah · 21/04/2016 23:08

Ar feck, got confused. Sorry. bloody, fancy come company? Maybe set a limit? If not, no worries.

Elba84 · 21/04/2016 23:17

lala thanks lovely. Sorry everything sounds so chaotic for you, don't blame you for drinking! (You're absolutely not a failure)

bloody hope your ok. I'm drinking too.

sorry I'm not really any help to either of you tonight, but I guess knowing we are in it together is something? Xxx

laladidah · 21/04/2016 23:25

elba was just about to warble 'all by myseeeeeelf' totally channelling Bridget Jones.

I am sick of this. Literally sick of this. We need a plan.

Ideas... Go!

(I am thinking desert island. Then we be forced into not drinking/smoking/eating crap - I am contemplating my second ready meal of the evening... Then we would emerge all surfer girl-esque... All tanned etc)

laladidah · 21/04/2016 23:28

Ps here is another puppy shot to cheer you up (if you need it)

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher
Elba84 · 21/04/2016 23:36

la puppy is seriously cute!!!

Yes we need a plan, not got a fucking clue what it should be though..,going for a smoke to consider!! Desert island could work, but I want one with a bar (it could sell a magic brand of alcohol that makes you feel amazing but without the hangover or calories)

Elba84 · 21/04/2016 23:39

I read somewhere that North Korea has claimed they have invented hangover proof alcohol...no idea how that would work, but also an option??!! Grin

laladidah · 21/04/2016 23:44

elba, she is gorgeous, if a whiney barky thing, which is to be expected, as she k a little baby still. And weirdly, she smells like chocolate?!!! I am so not a dog person, but I am head over heels for her, a bit like her when she tries to chase her ball down the slope and falls over her feet. She is special.

I really think there is a gap in the market for alcohol without the hangovers, liver damage and calories. I am, however, completely shite at science, so I think maybe there would need to be input from an outside source...

I am up for investing in such a thing.

How are you feeling? I am giving it til midnight, then pouring the rest of it out of t

Bloodybloodyhell · 21/04/2016 23:44

Oh I dunno. It's just bollocks isn't it. And all of these amazingly talented, icons of my youth dying all of a sudden, really does make me thing "fuck it".

Though of course, the logical part of my brain, which is still peering through the fug, knows that this is a ridiculous argument.

I was doing so bastarding well though. It really is all it nothing for me. And as baby says, I really can only control that first glass.

I'm off to bed. Lala, Elba - are you off soon too? It's effing pointless drinking at this time anyway.

Meh. Night lovely babes. Xx

laladidah · 21/04/2016 23:45

Phone has developed mind of its own. I am going to finish this glass then chuck the rest out of the window. If only to get the foxes drunk.

laladidah · 21/04/2016 23:47

Ok, new plan elba, we are moving to North Korea. Sod the desert island with our glowing skin etc. We can remain morosely happy with our hungover state (or lack thereof). Gah, what the bloody hell am I talking about?!

laladidah · 21/04/2016 23:49

bloody you are so right. Darn it. Going to need heaps of tea in the morning I can tell... Thanks

Elba84 · 22/04/2016 00:17

lala my heaven would be booze with no side effects, so if it takes us emigrating (to North Korea) then so be it Grin we can always tunnel south it needs be! Hope the drunk foxes don't keep you up!

Night bloody, I will be off soonish too (on a night tomorrow though so putting off going to bed)

laladidah · 22/04/2016 00:25

North, South::. Meh. I like the idea of tunnelling. The very keen puppy will do it for is. Taken my hardcore antihistamine drugs so am out for the count now.

As Scarlett o'hara said: tomorrow is another day. And it sort if worked out for her... If only I had her looks. Sigh.

Night elba xxx

ClaretAndBlue30 · 22/04/2016 07:32

Morning all! Hope those of you who struggled last night feel ok this morning but if not here's a Brew and some Flowers.

So day 5 here and full intentions to not drink today. In fact I want to have a totally dry weekend but definitely one day at a time (or one minute at a time I expect at some points today). Feel so good after 4 days that I don't want to backtrack and feel shite again by Monday as usual.

elba I definitely find if I am good to myself with food and exercise that not drinking is easier...its just getting into that habit and sticking with it that's hard. I'm forever tempted to forgo food in order to have calories to drink...a very bad habit developed over many years of obsessively watching my weight.

WillAndDisgrace · 22/04/2016 09:05

Morning all, Hank's for asking after me and sorry for not posting sooner. I was ok yesterday, I wasn't sick just not been eating properly. I'll my meds again today, haven't had them since Wednesday 3pm. I did have a few G&T's last night but went to bed at 9pm. Feel back on track today, like I've got it out my system and its still a massive reduction to what I was drinking. I use to drink every other night if not every night. So I'm
Going the right way and know I can do it. The boy isn't at school today so I'm planning a fun day with him.

Look what I saw on Jack Osborne's Instagram....

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher
ClaretAndBlue30 · 22/04/2016 09:09

Wow 13 years! He doesn't seem old enough (although I know he is married with kids so obviously is!)

I have no idea what's it's going to be like but louis Theroux has a documentary on next week about alcohol. His stuff is usually excellent though so I'll be watching that.

Glad you're ok will and feel like you're back on track. As you say you are drinking a lot less than before, and I'm guessing more mindfully too, definitely something to be proud of. Have a lovely day with your little boy today.

obrigada · 22/04/2016 10:17

Claret, I think that doing SW and walking every evening is helping me with regard to lowering my alcohol intake as well :)

ClaretAndBlue30 · 22/04/2016 10:51

That's great obrigada, glad sw is working for you, I've heard great things. I'm logging on weight loss resources which I find to be excellent (much like sw you can eat anything as long as it falls within your daily allowance). Determined to be happy with my weight by the time I go away in 6 weeks. Good to have a bit of focus away from alcohol I find.

Hope everyone's Friday's are going ok, it's turned wintry cold outside again here - weather can't make up its mind!!

obrigada · 22/04/2016 15:41

Am only 3 weeks on it Claret, lost 6.5lb over the first 2 weeks and stayed the same last week which was disappointing but it's making me look at what I am eating and drinking which can only be good Grin

WillAndDisgrace · 22/04/2016 15:47

So much for my AF day, finding it tough at the moment. I'm lonely and haven't spoken to anyone this week. Only DH by phone so he can face time ds, (I'm not could ting the dentist or checkout assistants) God I'm sad and have no friends....oh well

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