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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher

999 replies

Mouseface · 30/03/2016 00:05

Hi, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're delighted to have you here :) Not because if you're new to the Babes you are here for help, but because we welcome every kind of drinker. And for all of the reasons life throws at you.

Those that do drink, those that don't drink and of course those who do but don't want to say just how much..............

We've all had our own personal Groundhog Day , some still are and don't want to remain trapped in the same cycle day in, day out, and some still are and want to be which is fine and why we're here.

To talk, to listen, to just be us, like you are YOU. You never know, one day you might just want to wake up on a different day? :) There's no judging here, no 'sides.

After all, something made you click on and read this :)

Come say hi! We even do Brew & Cake if you're super quick!!

And if you want to see what we got up to in the last thread, have a look RIGHT HERE

And this is where our adventure began, almost six years ago now!!

ALMOST SIX YEARS AGO...........

OP posts:
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25
laladidah · 19/04/2016 22:50

Just incase anyone else is annoyed with Tuesday.. Here is some woman massacring that well known favourite Ruby Tuesday. I sort of like it...

laladidah · 19/04/2016 23:22

Fuck. Is anyone awake???

laladidah · 19/04/2016 23:34

Going to go for no. But my beloved boyfriend has just asked if he can sleep with someone else... What the actual fuck????? Wine is flowing at casa del Lala right now

isindecherryblossom · 19/04/2016 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

laladidah · 19/04/2016 23:52

Thanks blossom. Can't believe he actually
Said that .. But then rang before I had the chance to block him from everything to say he was joking.... What the actual fuck??????!!!!! Scuse my language

Elba84 · 20/04/2016 00:41

lala hope you're ok

No alcohol tonight, so that's a fourth AF night under my belt. Been pretty much chain smoking since I got in though, so although my liver might be benefitting my lungs are fucked Grin

baby thank you once again for such a lovely, thoughtful post. You are totally right that so much of this is a habit for me, and a kind of maladaptive coping method. Your words and support mean so much xxx

Sorry not to name check everyone, going to try and get some sleep (fingers crossed).

Bloodybloodyhell · 20/04/2016 07:23

Elba!! Awesome!! 4 AF days?! That's SO much more than you thought you could manage just a couple of weeks ago? Well done x (Going to go for 5?!) Wink

Lala - your whole situation sounds terribly difficult, I'm sorry. And your DP sounds like a bit of an idiot for suggesting something like that - even if it was a joke - especially at the moment, knowing how much other shit you're dealing with. Is there any option at all of you finding somewhere else to live? House share or something, sounds like you need to get away.

I've had a pretty healthy couple of days - been eating well, doing some exercise and not drinking - and feeling good actually.

Had a significant moment last night, when I had to go to the shop at 6pm to get milk - but I just deliberately avoided the wine aisle. That is probably the first time in four years that I have left that shop - at that time - without wine. 😃

Anyway, beautiful day here - going to get up. Do some washing, do some yoga - and cleaning.

Oh and today I WON'T BE DRINKING.

Have a lovely day, Babes xx

Fairenuff · 20/04/2016 08:15

Ah Isinde, I quite like the name Blossom for you Grin

How's things with you? Did you look into AA (am I right in remembering you were thinking about it)?

Elba look at you, you star. What a great inspiration you are. You are going to be one of those babes on here that come back later to encourage others saying 'If I can do it, anyone can' x

Lala that question was a test to see if you would allow it. Not good obviously.

WillAndDisgrace · 20/04/2016 08:17

lala that is a telly shitty thing for him to do, I hope you are ok today. I do think you need to get out of that house and live somewhere else, it may mean a few sacrifices but your situation at the moment is intolerable. If that really isn't something you can do I would look at limiting the amount of time you need to spend there. Again, so sorry your going through this and sorry I don't have better suggestions

ELBAAAAA!!! I've been reading back on your posts and how far you've come is absolutely amazing! AFD 5 ?

bloody well don't for serving the wine isle! Is sounds like such a small thing but it's actually an amazing thing for us lot! Hope the yoga goes well

Not sure what my plans are for today, DH left at about 5am this morning and won't be back till sat. And ds is at school till 4:30 so I have a free day! May give the place a good Spring clean (or veg out on the sofa Grin)

soberisthenewblack168 · 20/04/2016 08:17

Morning all sorry I was missing last night. I had to deal with a difficult call from my DM and something inside me just burst. I opened a bottle of wine and drank a couple of glasses and then stopped. I emailed my therapist and said help . I thought that I was done with therapy and had stopped the sessions but I knew I had always skirted around the issue of my childhood. So I took a deep breath and asked for an appointment specifically to talk about my childhood.
I can't escape it any longer. If I am going to nurse my DM through this illness and probably watch her die then I need someone that I can vent to.
I actually feel a bit lighter this morning .
Today I will not be drinking 😀😀
Will pop back later and do a proper catch up

Toomuchinfo1 · 20/04/2016 08:25

Hello! I have been reading this thread for a while and I can relate to a lot of your posts/experiences!

I've realised (well, I've known for a while) that alcohol does me no favours at all. I don't like myself when I'm drunk, but I also don't seem to be one of these people who can just have one and then put the kettle on/order a soft drink. I wish I could learn to know when to stop!

So . . I decided to try to just stop altogether. I managed a whole week! that is absolutely unheard of for me! I did have a glass of wine last night, but I was out with friends and nominated myself as driver, so I had no choice. the worst part was driving home past 4 shops, and not stopping to get a bottle to take home. But I did it, and I'm feeling good today. Someone's earlier post mentioned how much time you get back when you don't drink, and that's been the best thing about it for me. I actually baked on sunday and then cooked a slap up meal. if I had opened a bottle of wine then neither of those things would have happened.

I am by no means being smug about this, as it has been really hard so far (soooo far to go yet), but wanted to post to show you all some support. From reading your posts, I think you are all great, brave, amazing people.

Hope the sun is shining where you are.

Have a great day,

xx

Elba84 · 20/04/2016 08:31

Morning all. Thanks for the encouragement Flowers should clarify though the four AF days haven't been consecutive so not technically day 4, more the fourth time of doing day 1 but that's fine for me for now, it's still four days this month of not drinking which is far more than has happened in years Grin

Off to counselling now so sorry not to name check, but will be bad later on xx

Elba84 · 20/04/2016 08:31

Be back not be bad!

WorkInProgess · 20/04/2016 09:23

Morning all. I have been reading every day but not posting as still drinking and ashamed as you are all doing so well.

But now I am scared. My right foot has been numb on and off for days so I googled it and there was a long list of causes including alcohol abuse. I'm not sure what to do about it, if it is because of the drinking it cannot be cured.

All i know is that i will not be drinking today.

Sorry not to name check anyone, my head is a bit all over the place.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 20/04/2016 10:34

Morning all just checking in to say hi and that I'll be back later for a read and a proper post!

Elba84 · 20/04/2016 16:54

Aargh really really want a drink...it's the sunshine I think. Not planning to be AF today but if I start now any moderation will be out the window. Have had a litre of Diet Coke to try and substitute but now I'm just bloated and having palpitations, and still craving a drink!!!!!!

Fairenuff · 20/04/2016 17:30

Elba it will pass. Can you focus your mind on something so you're not thinking about it constantly? Hang in there. Come back here for a chat if it helps.

Work alcohol is only one in a 'long list of causes' so get yourself checked out with the gp. That's the trouble with heavy drinking, it comes with all these worries. Bin the drink, bin the worries x

WillAndDisgrace · 20/04/2016 18:27

hello too & workin, welcome aboard. I'm sure some other babes will be along with some wise words soon....well done for talking about it

WillAndDisgrace · 20/04/2016 18:28

I like that fair bin the drink, bin te worries!

Elba84 · 20/04/2016 18:36

Thanks faire and thank you for your lovely post this morning.

After I posted that I had a not so nice distraction in the form of a small bird that got in the kitchen window. After lots of mutual flapping its safely back outside, but I've just had to clean bird poo off my hob which is beyond grim Sad it did at least take my mind off drinking for a while!

will how's your free day been?

sober well done for asking for that appointment. It's so easy to skirt around the most difficult/ painful issues and takes a lot of courage to face them Flowers

WillAndDisgrace · 20/04/2016 19:11

elba I dozed a lot!!! I know people will think it's a waste of a day but I'm out all the time with ds, it was nice to just be in and chilling. Popped out to get some shopping and got wine, like you, I think it's the nice weather (and being on my own). I'm so stupid but also got a bottle of Diet Coke so plan to stick to that. Also I don't want to make my self sick but the urge is so strong!

How are all the lovely babes? I've got some crisps and dips as I'm not a Opal fruit fan (don't have a sweet tooth at all) so dive in everyone Grin

ClaretAndBlue30 · 20/04/2016 19:33

Evening all...day 3 here and ready for a sober night doing my new favourite thing - online jigsaws! I lost 2 hours to it last night....was great.

elba well done on your 4th sober night, you're racking them up! Well done for bypassing the craving earlier. I too struggled in the late afternoon sunshine...bloody weather. Why won't it rain, that'd make it easier for us!

bloody massive well done on avoiding the wine aisle! I managed to avoid it today too, whoop whoop.

toomuch well done on your successes, it feels great to have some sober days under your belt doesn't it. Please continue to post, its always great to hear of people doing well but we can offer support at tougher times too.

sober i hope the therapy session helps, its very brave of you to face up to what you need to talk about.

Right, I'm off to loose myself in another online jigsaw!

dementedma · 20/04/2016 20:15

Welcome new babes and hi to old babes. Right you lot! I need a collective vibe tomorrow at 4pm when I make contact with what might be a real ,live fairy godmother.....a philanthropical organisation contacted me out of the blue representing a family foundation who invest in charitable causes. They have found the work I am doing and are interested in being potential funders! Shock yes, to good to be true but have googled respective organisations and they are legit! First proper contact is a conference call tomorrow..... Still a long shot and a thin straw to grasp at but it's worth a go. Send funding vibes.....

WillAndDisgrace · 20/04/2016 20:28

OMG!!! Sending massive funding vides ma! Will you find out straight away or will it be a waits game from 4pm tomorrow?

Fairenuff · 20/04/2016 20:54

I will have everything crossed for you ma x

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