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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher

999 replies

Mouseface · 30/03/2016 00:05

Hi, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're delighted to have you here :) Not because if you're new to the Babes you are here for help, but because we welcome every kind of drinker. And for all of the reasons life throws at you.

Those that do drink, those that don't drink and of course those who do but don't want to say just how much..............

We've all had our own personal Groundhog Day , some still are and don't want to remain trapped in the same cycle day in, day out, and some still are and want to be which is fine and why we're here.

To talk, to listen, to just be us, like you are YOU. You never know, one day you might just want to wake up on a different day? :) There's no judging here, no 'sides.

After all, something made you click on and read this :)

Come say hi! We even do Brew & Cake if you're super quick!!

And if you want to see what we got up to in the last thread, have a look RIGHT HERE

And this is where our adventure began, almost six years ago now!!

ALMOST SIX YEARS AGO...........

OP posts:
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dementedma · 20/04/2016 21:14

Tomorrow is just the first contact where I explain what I do and why the people I am working with need support. If they like the idea (and me) they might throw some money at it. I hope so. I imagine they will digest what I say tomorrow and then come back to me either to say not interested, or to ask me for more information

obrigada · 20/04/2016 21:16

Best of luck for tomorrow Ma :)

JWIM · 20/04/2016 21:46

Fingers crossed Ma and prayers too - you really deserve a positive result.

dementedma · 20/04/2016 21:52

Thank you all. If the Babes are behind me, I can't lose. I need to get these people engaged and share the passion I have for this project. I don't need vast amounts of money. This particular foundation has 11 million in its coffers. I need a tiny fraction to keep the project on track...and myself in a job.

WillAndDisgrace · 20/04/2016 22:31

Stupid I know, but the WW got me. With DH away I miss him. We've been through some real shit this last year, relationships wise, we are still not quite there but know we love each other. I feel a failure to him, he's behaved badly towards me but we have love . Ugh, feel really up and down tonight Sad

Elba84 · 20/04/2016 23:04

Will be thinking of you ma

Hugs will hope you're ok, sorry I'm not much help tonight

I've screwed up tnfight so like always it's two steps forward and ten back. Seeing a lovely friend for lunch tomorrow so hope I'm not too hungover. Well over 15 units I think bit not worked it out...that's more than a weeks worth in a few hours that I don't even enjoy. Fucking stupid. Feel like I've just negated all my efforts and all your amazing support. Hating myself so much.

WillAndDisgrace · 20/04/2016 23:21

elda Immin the same boat, done the whole bottle

WillAndDisgrace · 20/04/2016 23:22

Sorry, I mean elba x

aliasjoey · 20/04/2016 23:24

Ma fingers crossed

Elba84 · 20/04/2016 23:28

It's shit isn't it will I don't feel any better but can't stop

WillAndDisgrace · 20/04/2016 23:56

It really is

ClaretAndBlue30 · 21/04/2016 07:50

ma fingers tightly crossed for you today. The passion you have for what you do is palpable - I'm sure that'll come across to them too.

will I hope you are ok, are you still taking your medication?

elba don't be angry at yourself, you're fighting a battle that has ups and downs. Last night was just a hump in the road but your general trajectory is up. Remember that. Hope you feel ok today for your lunch.

Day 4 today and I won't be drinking. Really back on it with my healthy eating and exercise, hoping that is enough to keep me away from the witch for a while.

laladidah · 21/04/2016 08:12

Morning, just to echo what claret said, to all of you! Hope you aren't feeling too bad will and elba... New day, new start right?

I didn't drink last night, but I can only seem to manage one night at a time... Fingers crossed we all hold out this evening.

Good luck ma!

WillAndDisgrace · 21/04/2016 08:49

Morning all. Feel like I need a Berocca. Ate too much tortillas and dip and now feel queasy .

Bloodybloodyhell · 21/04/2016 09:17

Morning. So last night I didn't manage to by-pass the wine aisle in the shop. In fact, I made a trip especially to get some. Idiot. Now feel like shit.

Ma - good luck!

Will, just be careful drinking on those antibiotics - I had the same ones once - and it was really, really grim. It's a top level excuse not to be able to drink, if you can manage it.

Hi Claret and Rarity - are you OK?

Have a good day Babes. Xx

obrigada · 21/04/2016 09:19

Morning babes, had 2 glasses of wine on Tuesday night (planned), and true to form these days they went straight to the head so finished my evening drinking water.
Waves to all babes :)

evilpopstar · 21/04/2016 09:34

Hello everyone old and new babes. I was a poster on here for a while and the support I got was top notch and I was achieving 2 or 3 nights AF with a bit of moderation on top. Then I reluctantly moved house and have been drinking like a fish ever since. This week have managed two stonking benders and two AF night. Determined to build on this. Will be on here for some love and support and will be supporting lovely babes in the struggle.

babyjane1 · 21/04/2016 10:36

Good morning lovely babes,

elba my heart really goes out to you, you seem in so much conflict with your drinking and your emotions. I couldn't moderate in any way and for me a drinking night meant during that night, the next day and sometimes many thereafter. Sometimes I just felt living was too hard and alcohol allowed me to "check out" for a while. It started as my magic elixir and became a poison I used to self harm. I think it may be the same for you. The good news for you is that when you know you can't drink you don't so you have self control and that's bloody brilliant, you are doing so very well and every day starts with an "A" and yesterday is gone.

I hate going to bed at night too, I hate thinking about all the terrible things I've done, I'm terrified of a future without alcohol so I choose to just live in the moment, that's all that's real after all. Enjoy your lunch and laugh with your friend, that's the real stuff, that's living, huge big hug xxx

will same to you lovely, it's a new day and it's the only day that matters, lots of water and a bit of fresh air and you'll feel heaps better xxx

lala hell no wonder you drink. Your life seems frought with negativity and some very unpleasant people, could you look into a house share or get your own place? If your paying your Mums rent then it might be enough to get a wee place in your own or with a pal?? I'm so jealous that you have a horse, I love to ride and try to get a lesson or hack whenever I can but its so expensive, our fabulous wry also lives a good ride!!! Ooooh Errr xxx

ma I'm looking somewhat contorted cos every limb is crossed for you, you deserve this, I admire you so much, life keeps throwing you lemons and you keep making lemonade, today's the day the Gods will have your back xxx

So in other news my weight is getting me down, I'm on a medication called quetiapine for bipolar, it's famed for causing weight gain because it makes you crave sugar, within an hour of taking it I'm actually getting up from my sleep to eat sweet things, totally pigging out and going back to bed. Then I feel sick, guilty and slovenly the next morning and wrongly think what's the point of eating healthy and doing excercise after the binge which is all the more reason to bloody do it!!!!!

Also my 5 year old dd is being very challenging and not going to bed before 10. It's very very challenging and I'm knackered and she is very very stubborn, lots of triggers but there's no room in my chaotic life for alcohol, it will only make my life and my head more chaotic so one day at a time go !!! Xxx

I keep harking back to habit but honestly over time the cravings really do go away, I don't crave it at all, sometimes I wish I could quieten my erratic thoughts, I wish I was normal whatever that is, I have nowhere to hide from my thoughts and feelings, God there's so many feelings!!!

I'm a work in progress living a life in progress, hell aren't we all...

I think Bob Dylan or Was it John Lennon whose lyrics said "life is what happens when your busy doing other things"

Ain't that the truth!!!

Love you guys xxx

ClaretAndBlue30 · 21/04/2016 11:19

lala i forgot to say in my previous posts, it sounds like you are having a really tough time - as others have suggested, some way of not being at your mums would be a good idea. She sounds pretty toxic for your wellbeing.

Baby sounds like you are busy! I know how valued evenings are once little ones have gone to bed so having her up until 10 must be utterly exhausting. Hopefully its just a phase!

pop good to see you! How did the move go? I find change often goes hand in hand with drinking....you wouldn't be the first person to go through that upheaval and feel the need to pick up a drink. Hopefully now you're through the other side you can build on your previous successes with some more af nights. Always support here!

I keep getting twinges of a craving but have to bat the bitch aside. No no no!

babyjane1 · 21/04/2016 11:35

Hey pop I know you were reluctant to move in the first place but your such a fabulous Mama that you put the needs of your kids first. It'll take time to bed in and make a house a home but if anyone can you can!!! Xxx

evilpopstar · 21/04/2016 11:58

Se thanks lovely babes. Currently painting DD2s room a beautiful sunshine yellow and aiming to get some exercise under my belt to chase away the drink craves and feel better. Just got today , let's be the best version if ourselves that we can be.

Love you all babes.

Fairenuff · 21/04/2016 17:00

It was John Lennon baby and is one of my favourite quotes.

laladidah · 21/04/2016 17:08

baby you are more than welcome to come for a ride if you are in the South East! Even though she is a bit of a bugger. I know I am a newbie, and don't know your back story but sounds like you are in control (well as much as any of us can be).

claret, elba, will etc (think I have name checked the right people!) - hope you are all ok... Had a bit of a rough day, but consoling myself with puppy cuddles and the thought that tomorrow is Friday. But then again, that's just as hard as my brain instantly thinks 'weekend! Let's drink! Can stay in bed all saturday if I like'. I am sick and tired of wasting my precious weekends... Sorry (again) about my ramblings/over sharing whilst under the influence on tues eve. Have spoken to 'd'p and he assures me it was a joke, he 'knew I was drunk and was winding me up.' Don't need that sort of crap in my life at the moment.

I think the fact that we have all managed AF evenings, even if it's one or two a week, is progress. It certainly is for me. I feel sad thinking about my sister, as she is in such a bad place. That was me a few years ago, and whilst I have curbed it in, obviously I am nowhere near 'normal' - whatever that is.

ma how did it go? Sorry if I have missed an update.

Off out riding this evening, hoping to keep my mind off the bloody wine. However, I have a nasty feeling that the little devil on my shoulder will niggle at me, telling me that I had an AF evening last night, and a full on day at work, and that I deserve a reward in bottle form. Wish I could be stronger, like so many of you on this thread. I sound pathetic and self pitying!

Anyway, I hope you are all ok Thanks and Brew

laladidah · 21/04/2016 17:17

Ps bloody I did the same thing last night. It was a lovely evening and I told myself I was going out for a nice wholesome walk in the twilight to the shop to buy wine. Although I managed to leave it shut yesterday evening, which means it is languishing here, taunting me.

Now I know why you call it the wine witch, mine is like the evil witch in snow witch, all cackling and with a beckoning finger, but instead of the poisoned apple, she is beckoning to the poison that is alcohol, even though I know it is wrong and leads to bad things. think I shall call her Belinda. Banish the wicked wine witch bitch Belinda. (Hope none of you are called Belinda!)

What am I waffling on about? Promise I have only been on the tea so far today! It's weird, after an AF evening I find that my brain is completely fried. As in my colleague was chatting to me today about good books I had read recently, couldn't remember a single author or genre of book I have been reading. And I was on holiday two weeks ago so I read a lot. Including a book that completely gripped me. Can I remember the name of it? Can I bugger. I get worried about all the side effects eg. Wet brain etc (DO NOT LOOK IT UP!) but still I continue to put myself at risk of all the side effects.

Right, I'll shut up now. Hope all of you are ok.

dementedma · 21/04/2016 20:49

Sorry to hear of so many struggling. It's so difficult isn't it?
Well I spoke to the philanthropical people and they seemed interested. I don't know who else they are talking to though...
They said they would get back to me. Thanks for your support.

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