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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher

999 replies

Mouseface · 30/03/2016 00:05

Hi, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're delighted to have you here :) Not because if you're new to the Babes you are here for help, but because we welcome every kind of drinker. And for all of the reasons life throws at you.

Those that do drink, those that don't drink and of course those who do but don't want to say just how much..............

We've all had our own personal Groundhog Day , some still are and don't want to remain trapped in the same cycle day in, day out, and some still are and want to be which is fine and why we're here.

To talk, to listen, to just be us, like you are YOU. You never know, one day you might just want to wake up on a different day? :) There's no judging here, no 'sides.

After all, something made you click on and read this :)

Come say hi! We even do Brew & Cake if you're super quick!!

And if you want to see what we got up to in the last thread, have a look RIGHT HERE

And this is where our adventure began, almost six years ago now!!

ALMOST SIX YEARS AGO...........

OP posts:
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isindecherryblossom · 03/04/2016 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dementedma · 03/04/2016 09:38

Hey indie, wassup? I messaged you on LinkedIn to see if you were still alive and here you are. How are the DTs? ( children, not tremors). I'm guessing things not good with DP?

venusandmars · 03/04/2016 10:40

isindie sometimes domestic issues and drinking go in a loop :

frustration at home -> have a drink
have a drink -> belligerent and irritated at home
belligerent and irritated -> have a row
have a row -> self soothe with a drink

Plus it gives partner lots of ammunition to throw back at us - and even if they don't then the guilt inside stops us from addressing the core issue properly.

Note, all of this refers to me, not to you. Hope you sort things out in a good way x

ma any sun on your side of the river? It's horrid and grey here.

MsGee · 03/04/2016 10:46

Hiya, not yet caught up with new thread and apologies for absence. Things OK here. DH hugely supportive after a lot of honesty on my part which is making a big difference.

LittleGee is doing very well, so all in all it feels like we might be climbing out of the pilemof shit the last few years have brought. Smile

dementedma · 03/04/2016 12:54

No sun Venus. Stuck in with dh who has football on the TV and the computer and is wanderign between the two annoying me like a bored toddler. I need to get out but have no reason to go anywhere other than visit dad, which I can't face, and if I go out dh will end up tailing after me. Bored.

puttingthegenieback · 03/04/2016 13:17

asking again whether the desire to drink ever goes away? and what do you all do to stave it off in the evenings? I know that the back of my brain thinks that I have stopped drinking for the time being - that this is just a temporary hiatus....

ClaretAndBlue30 · 03/04/2016 13:37

genie I'm by no means an expert and haven't gone af longer than a month before (aside from pregnancy) but I find that I cope better the further into a af period I am...I think, like many, my drinking becomes habitual very quickly and it's the breaking of that habit that takes work. After the first week I am normally into a new routine and feeling the benefits of not having a drink. That doesn't mean I've not had to fight the craving every night...its just I am more in the habit of fighting them if you see what I mean.

As for tips. I have to (have to have to) just grit my teeth and put some food on - as I know after I've eaten the craving goes (my cravings are always linked to hunger as I like to drink on an empty stomach). It's just forcing myself to do that. Sometimes it's helped if I get in the door and change into pjs/indoor clothes and take my makeup off to deter me wanting to go out again. I don't have wine in the house. I tend to go to bed early.

I'm sure others have more useless stuff to say but hope that helps a bit.

Day 3 (again) here.

puttingthegenieback · 03/04/2016 14:49

Everything you said is so helpful, claretandblue, thank you. I think just gritting your teeth is actually great advice - also to eat instead of drinking. Grit your teeth for long enough, and eat something, and the craving does tend to pass. I do still have wine in the house, as my decision to try to go AF is a recent one, and sudden, so had a good supply laid in per usual ... and my husband still enjoys a pint or a glass of wine most evenings. He asked if I wanted him to join me in going AF, but I said no as drinking is not a problem for him as it is for me. It would probably be much better not to have any alcohol in the house, but as it is I just try to pretend it isn't there.

Well done on day 3 by the way. Cake

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 14:52

Marfisa!!! Oh sweetpea, there are no words!!!! And yes I probably shouldn't use so many exclamation marks in the presence of an academic but oh!!!! And I need a grammar smack too probably...

I am weeping with pride, your post was so honest and true. The bit about leading a double life - we are, we do. We may not be MI5 spooks getting our heads dunked in fat fryers but we live a secret existence nonetheless. I am the master of the poker face to the outside world.

Oh Marfisa, my heart is busting out of my chest with joy. In my head I can see you that summer, out in your garden, surrounded by flowers, bees and piles of books, I remember you were writing your book, and I so want to read it and know that I am proud to know the clever, warm and beautiful soul who wrote it.

We are indeed from all walks of life, but I still see us us all as gentle shires or Clydesdales, standing shoulder to shoulder. Sometimes the furrows we plough are a bit skew whiff, sometimes they are straight and true and some days we just can't get out of the bit at all. But we all nibble each other's manes, whisk away annoyances and stresses with our tails/tales and carry on. We have each other. Xx

baby my dear, if I could bedeck you in ribbons and brasses I would, and I would announce your presence with the shoogling of much Pom-pommery, so that everyone could see the beautiful being trotting proudly by. How are you my friend? I've missed talking all things hoss. Xx

dementedma · 03/04/2016 16:43

wry you write so beautifully! So good to have you back. Now pay attention all of you. Dd1 and I have just been to visit a rescue cat, found abandoned and poisoned. He just leapt out at me from Facebook and I knew he was the one. The right cat has to find its human, not the other way around. So, if all goes well health-wise (and he has a bit of a stagger and we live upstairs, so not home and dry yet), he will join the family next week. Babes, I give you the magnificent General Jericho Jones..

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher
The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher
MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 17:45

Testing

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 17:54

And testing again. It won't post big posts. Gah

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 18:01

You post that you cretinous tit of a phone.

ma I'm trying to say how fab your puss is

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 18:04

Short posts it is then.

He is such a handsome boy, such depth in those beautiful eyes.

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 18:08

Who could do such terrible things, what a rotten start. I'm glad he found you.

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 18:09

You got yourself a soldier after all. Smile

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 18:10

And not just any soldier. A General.

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 18:11

I won't lower the tone by suggesting you get yourself some privates.

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 18:13

I'll trade you in. Oh yes I will ye big Bawbag.

dementedma · 03/04/2016 19:25

I hear you wry but just lost a big post in reply.grrrr

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 19:43

I think there be a glitch in the system ma I just lost one to Claret aaaagh

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 03/04/2016 19:45

Anything over four or five lines leaves the annoying little wheel spinning endlessly. Then pfft. Gone.

venusandmars · 03/04/2016 19:46

wry and ma your conversation has made me laugh Grin

dementedma · 03/04/2016 19:47

Yup, same here.
Venus tis unkind to laugh at the afflicted.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 03/04/2016 22:06

I think there's a problem tonight! Thanks wry for the attempt though Smile

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