FreeMo - Part 3

[AngryMo]

New Fred

Cuntcard - brilliant!

I am just trying to picture P explaining to his solicitor how greedy and lazy I am and then him or her looking at the facts...erm how do you defend that???

Maybe cuntcard could actually be printed underneath the pic of said card on this advertising van.

Maybe pay someone to shout using a klaxon "cuntcard" as said advertising van is driving around his haunts

Best of all he is STUPID enough to put all this stuff in writing!!!

He arrogant beyond belief.

Loving cuntcard

It's almost worth a crowd funding effort for!!

Mo, well done.

You should also expect the

I can't pay, I have no money
You will force me into debt
You agreed to these expensive purchases so it's you joint responsibility that I have no money
I will make sure the grandparents never see the DCs
I will apply for special guardian ship by the GPs if I can't have them
You will have to go back to work now anyway so I was right all along
The children need me as a role model
All children need their daddy and if I work abroad they can't have that.

You need to get their passports and keep them somewhere safe. And birth certificates.

I am now getting scared I'll have a wobble. This high can't last forever. Please please please help keep me strong. Child birth is nothing compared to the strength you need to keep going in a situation like this. Sorry to be Gordon Ramsay-esque, but fuck me. What a journey.

Mo, we're with you for the highs and the lows. Even if you do have a wobble there'll be someone here to help you through it.

Sadly the hardest part will be you not falling back into submission mode when he is infront of you. So even if he shows up always have the standard replies ready.
"This isn't working for me"
"I will answer when I have had time to consider"
"I will consult me SHL"
or variants of.... NEVER commit to anything without a delay until you get info here

You might need to practice your new persona Mo. So that when you do see him you can just slip into character

It would be much better if he would go to his parents when he comes back. Not sure how you get him to agree to that

We are all here Mo don't worry. It may feel like middle of a war zone but you are kicking those punches and waving that sword like a pro. Look how far you have come- at one point even the thought of ringing women's aid was to over whelming. But you have:

Rung them several times
Told family and friends the truth
Got legal advice not so good and good!
Rung a refuge
Started a benefit claim
Told him it's OVER X 57
Had the this is maintence like it or I go after you for it chat.

6 weeks ago that seemed to many mountains to count and yet here you are right in the middle. Yes ok so you have to tell the kids and face him and sort other things but the biggest emotional tasks you have done all by yourself.

I know it's draining and not over yet but you are fighting for the best reasons for you and the kids it's all good stuff to come even if it's a new start away. I doubt you will have a major wobble you are not going say ok come back let's try again are you????!! You have legal /house/maintence law on your side it's ok to let other people take over and fight these things for you. You will get there xx

All brilliant news Mo, well done you! I do not want to bring you down but is there any chance that his "explain this concept further to you" would be done with his fists? Please take all necessary steps to keep yourself safe.

I knew today would not end well - I can't bloody find my keys and have been looking for an hour now!!!! There had to be a downer, didn't there bloody hell.

Things move fast in FreeMo Land! I think the quote, "explain this concept further to you" will go down in MN history as one of the best ever. Every time I've read it requoted here I've .

Best of luck with this next stage Mo, thinking of you

AmIbeing: I didn't specifically link that phrase to that meaning, but can't deny I am scared of how he might behave when angry, even though he has never ever been physically violent before. There's no telling how karma slapping in the face will make him behave. So between now and then we'll see what happens, and if I don't feel safe, I will try my best to get him to stay with his parents, or I will find alternative accommodation whilst he's here.
Thank you for flagging it.

Cheapskate, do you really think so? Am I famous now?
I was always a very cautious poster on here, name changed a lot, never gave too many details. Now look at me.

You are not famous - you are a legend!

On a practical note do the kids know how to call 999? Found this teachers resource game www3.hants.gov.uk/teachers-resources-dial-999-in-an-emergency.pdf and this

www.assemblies.org.uk/pri/1477/people-who-help-us Obviously not in a if daddy is nasty way.... But a good life skill to learn plus added level of security IF shit hits the fan.

Very thoughtful of you, thank you Akire.

I have utter satisfaction.

Sorry wrong thread Mo. But you will get there too!

Haha Orlanda!!!!

I've woken up seriously worried he will do something stupid. He's not replied yet and I've got no way of knowing what he's doing - no one to check for me etc.
I hope I hear from him soon, I really do. All this nonsense about my mental stability - but actually I genuinely am worried for his. Hopefully I'm worrying about nothing.

Mo I haven't posted before but I'm waving the Pom poms for you too.
You will experience this anxiety, you have done well so far please don't doubt you're doing the right thing
You have been in an unusual bubble at the moment with him being abroad and your bravery has been great, now I think you're probably worrying about the face to face bit.
Could you invite a member of your family or a friend to stay for a while ?
He may or may not return straight way but I think you probably need some real life inouse support at the moment. If only to just watch to with !
My ex said he was worried about my state of mind too insisting I went to therapy (this was before I actually split ) which turned out to be the best thing for me as he insisted that there was nothing wrong with him so I went alone, I found the therapy fantastically empowering for me and it totally backfired on him. I gained the last bit of strength from that to tell him it's over!
My advice is not to be alone with him just one simple thing which will curb his behaviour

Going quiet is just more of the same Mo. He's tried gaslighting you and now he's gone off the radar. It is scary - you have been compliant and you don't know how he will react now you have full-on challenged him.

Have you got practical things to do to prepare for the possibility of him going into full drama mode? Depending on the imminence of his return, do you want to have a chat with the police on the non emergency number? I did this on two occasions and was assured they would come out quickly if he kicked off and I called them. Maybe also remove anything of sentimental value if you haven't already?

This is how he controlled you and why you were compliant. He let you know that should you have the nerve to challenge him, you wouldn't know how bad the consequences would be. You need support just now. Can anyone come round to be with you? Or can you get out with DCs? Don't want you to feel like a sitting target. KOKO