FreeMo - Part 3

[AngryMo]

New Fred

Mo KOKO and to you :)

Hi Mo hope you are fast asleep and tucked up with the kids. You must be physically and mentally shattered after last few days. Least you have done 4 days so far every day done will hopefully never have to be repeated!

for the mirninh

Morning!

Morning, Mo. You're a KOKO.

This is a living hell of a week...

Locked bedroom, not spending a second together, out all day to avoid him, yet he's still saying we are together.

So far all he's done is two meals with the kids and taken one to sport but that is it. No school runs, no homework, no reading, no kids' parties...his parenting is non existent.

In a few weeks time, he will still be doing no childcare, still spending no time with you, still being a twatchops, same as he ever was. The difference is he won't live with you, he will have no rights to be near you, you will have more money, no more locked bedrooms and tension. Soon, soon, soon: you are on the right path to a happy life.

I bet you'll have a fantastic Christmas this year.

Document it all though Mo. So you have evidence that he is not even looking after the kids when he is at home. Knowing him as well as we do he would try for 50:50 to get any maintenance down so having documented evidence that he isn't even looking after them when he has the chance could be vital in the future.

Does he think that if he keeps saying it, it will become true?

Twat.

But in what context does he say it? Seems an odd thing to drop into passing conversation.

KOKO, KOKO

Each day he is here, it's one more day nearer to his departure.

Clam, he's said it by email and I have it recorded. Only says it after I mention it or something to do with us being separated. Instant dismissal of the idea every time.
Yes the more he says it the more likely he thinks I am to go 'ok then!'

Did you sleep Mo?
Nearly time for the new thread, have you thought of a name yet?
It is so weird isn't it to dismiss the idea that the relationship is over? That ego is enormous. Not long now, as I have said before, the darkest hour is just before dawn. KOKO Mo

Yes, I remember him mansplaining that the fact that you'd come home from abroad didn't mean, to your tiny female brain, that you had separated. He seemed to think that poor little you was confused with what "separated" means.

Agree, it's time for a change of term. Remember, you don't need his permission, or even agreement, to leave him.

God is such an idiot. I am keen to know what he is eating at home or is he eating out since he has been back? Has he done any shopping on top of takeaway? I suppose he must have eaten out at golf and then at his "do" so not many other meals to cover.

I have found myself obsessing over what I would say to him if I were in your shoes.

I can't believe he's still trying to ignore that you're separated. Maybe next time it comes up change the wording you use "this relationship is finished" or "we are no longer a couple" see if that gets through - apologies if you've already tried this.

KOKO

Just catching up on your thread Mo. Does his visit last much longer?

Another echoing that I think the officer you spoke to was wrong. Financial abuse absolutely is one form of abuse and is clearly listed on the Government's own definition of DV - but you shouldn't have to tick every box on that list for it to become criminal behaviour! It concerns me that the officer you spoke to has potentially minimised what he is doing by implying it is a 'non crime' based on that misinformation.

Does your local force have a specialist DV unit you can ask to be put in touch with?

I surmise, that as long as he is paying for the roof over your head, in his mind, you are still his children's carer, & he is financing you, therefor you ares till his staff.
In his mind, if he wasn't financing & you were living somewhere else, he would have to accept he was no longer part of the scene.
I still think that once he gets the paper work he will have no option but to accept it.
Thinking of which, you MUST get the documents sent by courier with counter signature, or depending on the country, a bailiff/official. if not he will just say he never got them.

Remember - you aren't separated as that is a state for married people. You are single. You've split up. Do people know about this yet? Even (though it's horrible) relationship status on Facebook?

I agree id be telling everyone. If people know then he might "jus" get it ?

How was today no? Xx

Hope all has been ok Mo, I'm a wee bit worried about you x

Hope you are okay Mo

Hoping you are ok.

Hope your fast asleep after exhausting day. We can still cheer you on remotely! drives cunt card van past house

Am not sure if this link will work but its to a pdf of a Home office document
Controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship : Statutory guidance framework.
Home Office Document

Might be useful to wave at the Police Officer who didnt take your concerns seriously.

Hello everyone.

The days are exhausting with him around, as a result I am literally out all day, flitting from one place to the other until I can't avoid it any longer because any second I am at home is an opportunity for him to have a go at me and I just can't take it any longer.

So I've got the police telling me this is a non-crime, and I've got the NCDV telling me it's a "grey area". Thanks for that doc Melty, think I've read it before, but WHY is no one referring to it when it's there in back and white 1. The offence carries a maximum sentence of 5 years’ imprisonment, a fine or both. 

Types of behaviour: financial abuse including control of finances, such as only allowing a 
person a punitive allowance; 


I am frustrated and exasperated. I feel like every road I go down is a dead end.

I spoke to the NCDV following my referral, and they can't do a thing until he's physically back in the country permanently. What they can do though when he is back, is take out an emergency injunction, they say within 48 hours of my application, in the form of an occupation order or non-molestation order, which can last between 6-12 months.

I need to speak to them again about what I can do in the next few months, and see if they can properly assess my case before then. When they rang I wasn't in the best place to take the call so I can call back with a list of questions and make an action plan of sorts.