FreeMo - Part 3

[AngryMo]

New Fred

He must be paranoid I'm giving the card to someone else and receiving cash back or something, and that I'm saving it up. There is no other explanation for his paranoia about the food.

This is clearly finacial abuse territory it's one thing to limit money and be strict another to accuse you of stealing it when it's impossible. Hope police can help you take steps or least talk to him now it's officially a crime and all.

How I can save money on £75 a week is beyond me though.

We're taking about £100 or so. Not £10,000. This is clearly nuts.
All the while, he's out tonight and will easily spend £100 on his own in just a few hours.

Exactly time you got nappies washing powder and toilet roll that's best part of £25 gone

Forgive me if I'm asking the wrong question, and please feel free not to answer if you don't want to, of course. But - is his staying or having a home in the UK irregular in any way?

Distance: he only home for less than a couple of weeks. He is working abroad until some time in the summer and will then move back permanently. I haven't seen him for four months until a few days ago when he flew back.

My typos are getting on my nerves. But I'm sure you can forgive my dodgy typing.

Where did he go tonight? After morning at golf?

Again, please excuse me if I'm being tactless. It just jumped out to me when you said that you can't risk the police coming while he is there. Whyever not?

He is just well a bit insane!

£75 per week is a minimal budget, certainly not generous...

It's just so horrid for you

Because I want to hear what they have to say before I make up my mind what I'm doing.

Akire, he is out at a do somewhere - not sure where. Interesting he insists we are a couple, yet I'm not joining him in any social activity of any kind, not even speaking to him unless it's a confrontation or something to do with the kids.

He insists you are a couple because in his mind a wife is a household appliance. He doesn't want to lose the (free) housemaid.

If he's been moaning about cupboards being bare and he knows you have no money have you and kids eaten today? Or just off bits n peices? Shopping day Monday gong be fun wonder if he offer to do it as you incapable

Well he probably doesn't know how much groceries cost really (not making excuses for him obviously) - it's not like he's frugal when it comes to spending on himself so just chucks things in the basket without worrying too much about it.

Remember his goal is to force you back out to work so he can stop supporting you entirely, as his father did to his mother. So trying to shame you into feeling that you're stealing from him is as effective as actually believing that you are. In fact I guess it's the same thing to him - by taking his money at all you are stealing from him.

Isn't his own phone not working due to whatever the problem is?

He also accused me of not keeping the kitchen clean. I noticed when I came in he'd cleaned up and though ah, good, at least he's done something, if not looking after the kids. Only for it to be used against me, as I can't be trusted with money, don't know how to spend it, and now I don't know how to clean my own kitchen.
Don't forget this is his new expensive kitchen that he paid for, so it's his pride and joy with expensive items in it. He didn't give a shit before this one was installed. Or about the rest of the house.

Trib - his phone isn't working either, that's right. But he doesn't seem too bothered. He's only here for a few days and it's not really essential, but for me it is. He has another phone for when he's over there.

He seems to have a thing for possessions. Very well, leave him to his precious possessions. Neither you or his children are things, though. He may not like it, but he'll soon find out.

He did sit down and work out a list of things we need to buy on a weekly basis, months ago, this is true. And he was under the impression it was a lot of stuff, would last a whole week and would be enough for all of us. He never actually tested it though, I did because I live it and know it, and I know it's not enough. Unless I go hunting in the bargain bucket for going out of date stuff and freeze it all (which I am forced to do regularly). Even then, it's still not enough.

Well you are either incapable of managing money or a financial whizzkid who can save from 75 pounds a week, you can't be both.

He convinced himself it was enough, and doesn't trust me when I say it isn't. It could be if I scrimped and saved every single day of course, but why the fuck should I do that, while he's off doing whatever?

Like it, Atenco

Mo, you don't need to justify yourself. Anyone in their right mind could see that what he's doing is bonkers (even if he did allow for enough food/money, it would still be bonkers and seriously abusive, because of the degree of control).

He insists you are a couple because in his mind a wife is a household appliance. He doesn't want to lose the (free) housemaid

That's it in a nutshell. You are staff to manage the house and kids and all for the bargain price of £75pw.