FreeMo - Part 3

[AngryMo]

New Fred

It strikes me Mo however that as his mum has an opinion, he has been talking moaning to her about it recently.

On that point, bravo... You're clearly getting to him.

Dung, his mum knows because I told her. I wanted her to be aware as I knew he'd cover it up. I wanted to spare her the shock, so while she wrongly thinks she can influence things, at least she knows what's happening and when whatever happens happens, she's had some warning.

Amibeing...unfortunately it's very hard to get legal aid in these circumstances. It's not the sort of thing you call the police over so unless he's been charged with something, i.e. usually physical abuse, hard to prove. Unfair but that's the way it is.

I'm drinking 'his' wine btw.

Hilarious. It would be even better if you could stick a bottle of Blue Nun or Lambrusco in to the place where every expensive bottle of plonk was before you drank it, but clearly you can't afford to make that joke!

Bravo on the wine drinking!

Tribpot, how much is a bottle of Blue Nun? That's hilarious! I want to do it!
Btw, this 'expensive' wine I'm drinking, my usual PG is much better. He wouldn't bloody know the difference either. He's no wine connoisseur, just all about the price. But I suppose that's not just him, that the wine business - nonsense.

Sorry, no offence to wine connoisseurs. Just wanted to make the point that STBExP likes to show off even though he doesn't really know much about it (but pretends to).

He would probable go mad if he knew you were drinking it, right? You cannot but alcohol or small treats but he needs beer/meals out/ outings after his busy week.

Asda currently selling for £4.50 how much per bottle is his £44.50??

But don't you know Akire, this is not the sort of wine to be drinking while cleaning the kitchen on a Sunday night! Fuck knows what the right occasion is. I thought it went very well with disinfectant.

:)

I think red Lambrusco is still very reasonable Mo, and tastes just like fizzy pop

Keep drinking all the good stuff - I mean what's a girl to do when she's on her own and lonely?

Shame we don't live in Spain where you can get a litre of wine in a carton for about 45p.

I've googled as it's been 5 years since I bought any wine (and I'm not sure I've ever bought Blue Nun but definitely quaffed Lambrusco in my uni days). These days Blue Nun is about £4.50 a bottle. How much is his wine? I hope about 20 quid a go.

£4.50 for that plonk?! That's outrageous. Never mind, I prefer the empty look I have at the moment.

I'm just imagining the scenario where he goes along to see the mediator or finds his own solicitor or whatever: even if they are working for him and he wants to do something stupid like try to take the kids, they would still advise him that it's not going to happen, right? That if I go after the house/a higher maintenance sum via the children's act (there are various possible outcomes) they will tell him he can't escape his obligations towards his children and that he's wasting his money fighting it, right? I just want to know what a solicitor could possibly do for him in is situation - minimise the financial 'loss' to him, but that's all?

I'm not a legal expert. but
I can't see him being able to "take the kids" he hasn't even seen or been in the same country as them for months. He has gone on numerous holidays, rather than once fly back, or fly you out to spend his week of free time with him. you are primary carer, he is not even a "parent"
he will be obliged to pay for the children's maintenance, however, he will try & show the minimal income possible. also if he is paid overseas, there may be a problem forcing him to pay.
perhaps they could award you the house in view of him defaulting?
You need to post on legal section?

Even if he's abroad, they can enforce it - I've got that covered.
I have posted in legal before but didn't get any responses, maybe I'll try again.

Christ I'm so upset. I keep checking my account to see if he's paid the money in - but nothing.
So even though I really didn't want to, I've emailed his mum (she is with him at the moment) to tell her he's refusing me money for the children and I'm desperate and distressed and don't know what else to do and she's the only one who can talk to him.

The shame of having to ask his own mother why he won't pay for his children's school holiday activities and school uniforms is just overwhelming. She's the last person I wanted to involve but this is how desperate things have become.

Him knowing I've told her about this is really going to enrage him isn't it. He's going to go nuts. It's going to make him worse. I don't know if it was the right or wrong thing to do but I'm getting more scared of him coming home.

Get the forms returned ASAP. Seperate your finances. You don't need to itemise or justify your spending to get the benefits you are entitled to each month.

Time to go to the CMS and CTC etc. he is showing you that if you don't do what he wants then he will not give you money. It may make him realise that it will be cheaper for him to pay directly either way it is the only way you are ever going to have control of your own finances.

Next week he may not even top up the bl**dy card.

Just rip the plaster off and move forward.

Please, please send those forms off (benefits/CMS).

If you do this, in th very least you will know that you will have some money.

What will you do if he doesn't transfer funds, even after his mother speaks to him?

So he's angry?
So he shouts, and so what ? Mo, stop the softly softly.
he has children who are in school, they have to have uniform & shoes. he is refusing you a pathetic small amount of money, while he flies off on holidays & drinks beers on the beach. & now is probably paying in restaurants for his mother
He knows he has you cornered, well metaphorically, Cornered dogs bite.
there is a chance your MIL does nothing anyway...
Personally I would get him on the skype (recording) & rip into him. If he didn't want a family no one forced him to procreate. he is saving up for a fucking sports car
Its appalling this abuse & control; So sorry for you.

Please tell me you have sent off forms

Mo - you go fucking nuts, he is not supporting or providing for his children, what a wanker. The world should know (the people in your world) let him go mad, it will really show him up for what he is - prick

Mix, I'm terrified of him. I know what you're saying and I'm trying to deal with this the best way I know but I can't stop feeling scared of him and what he might do. I don't want to be alone with him in this house.

Aw Mo you are only doing what you need to do, if his mother asking enrages him that just shows how low he holds you and the kids. Like people have said he's probable taken his mum out showed her off and spent loads already.

Agree get those forms off - you have Seperated you need to know you have income coming in not being held up on a whim.

If you are this scared and are scared of being alone with him, please call the police. He is financially/emotionally abusing you, he has gaslighted these things are illegal.