FreeMo - Part 3

[AngryMo]

New Fred

Oh sorry in addition to uniform costs, he also wants an itemised list of additional expenses over the Easter holidays.

That's why you should send off the benefit forms Mo if you do not have money to buy basic school uniforms that's entirely legitimate reason for benefits! I know you not keen but hopefully you will soon.

I'm sure your friend will not worry about the money if they know the situation. Hopefully he have the good grace to pay them back - if only to save face.

Random I like that approach actually. Trouble with me is because I'm so intimidated by him, I always underplay the real costs for things, so that if I ask for money I ask for less as I'm frightened he'll fly into a rage (actually not sure what I'm frightened of but that's by the by). I wonder if I had always overestimated by 50% if I would have got what I actually wanted after a little negotiation? Probably should have been a bit more cunning but that's just not me by nature...

So he was quite happy for you to spend the £50 on one meal over Easter to late for you to use it but spending money to keep kids happy and busy over school holiday needs £ by £ list.

Shames he's not available 24/7. Dear Tosser, we are at park with kids dying to get out of the car. But it's £3.50 parking. £1 for us all have wee and the kids will want a drink £3.50. Can we have the go ahead or shall we all go home.
Yours awaiting permission to spend £8
Xxx

Hi Akire, feel like I've not spoken to you for ages

My internet still down - but got some data on 3G. So popping in out but not as much. Why do they tell you X MB I have no clue how much web time that is!!!! Hopefully I have new box soon and devour all wifi I need :)

I'm going to ask my friend. Obviously he doesn't have to get involved if he doesn't feel comfortable but if he wants to do it, he can. Except I'll do it reverse. Tell him he's already lent me the money and here are his bank account details. Then if he pays him back, my friend can transfer to me.

Oh no! Actually now I remember you saying about your wifi before. Hope that box arrives asap!

It dosnt matter how many times you say it Mo it's still horrid to read. How someone who can easily afford to provide for his family is such a tight ass and the stress it gives you!

Good idea to get it before you spend it

Mo when you are at the stage he's paying child maintenance (which he should be now really) please don't itemise your spending. I know you're used to doing it, but you mustn't do it going forward. The money is yours to spend on living costs

I've seen men trying to get their ex's to state what they're spending it on and it's not something you have to do

Thank you Dolly for telling me that. I almost started a list before saying to myself WTF are you doing Mo. You've been entertaining his children alone for two and a half weeks.

Btw, I misread his message. He's not asking what the extra cash is for, he's saying he won't transfer it until I've itemised what I've already spent the monthly money on. I feel sick all over again.

Why? If he thinks you already spend it it's tough luck! What are you going say sorry mate can only pay you back X amount.

Agree with Dolly ideally be firm say no this is for essentials that you seemed reasonable it's X amount please. Do you think it's some sort of anxiety condition that he can't give until he accounts for every penny or just plan old make you suffer and squirm as much as possible?

How did I end up with him, how. He got annoyed once, can't have been that long after we first started going out that I took one of his beers from the fridge. I should have said you're a dick right there and then and walked away. I remember telling a friend or two about that a whole later and they were shocked. That was my first red flag. FFS.

Still Mo with any luck this is last time you will have to do this, could be good evidence! When's he back you go after maintence and benefits so he will have to contribute in the end x

It's a bit of both, Akire. Irrational control of his money plus trying to punish me for not earning. I have lots of theories swimming around in my head about why he is like he is, but ultimately it's a mixture of many factors...leading to utter twattishness.

Years and years ago I was with someone- we were broke. He smoked but no money for fags. I gave him my bus money to buy Fags then spend over 2h walking to work half way across London in the middle of summer!!! How stupid was I - he was right abusive tosser but at the time I couldn't see it. Easily done X

We're just too nice and get taken advantage of for being too nice. Thank god for people like me and you though (everyone on this thread!)

:) hope you get some sleep. Maybe leave the email list or no way shit face, reply to the morning xx

Thank you x

You've had to comply with this itemisation for so long, of course you were about to do it again. At some point when you're ready though, you have to stop. He just gives you the agreed amount. That's yours to spend on fags and booze or on food and petrol. Whatever. You do not have to justify it

With him being abroad and you having no money I can see why you'd have to play the game his way. But you have to change that as soon as you can. It's degrading. And if he's doing this whilst you're together it's going to be really important to change it going forward

It goes to show that he just doesn't get what you're telling him is the problem doesn't it. hes going to be an even bigger fuckwit as an ex, be prepared for that, and try to establish better different rules as soon as you can

I made a rough list, but just for me. I won't send it to him. If I did, he'd ask how can I have already spent more than his allowance (because my kind parents insisted I take money from them but not going to tell him that) and then admonish me for not giving him advance warning (the fact it was school holidays hasn't given him a clue so far) and then accuse me of being irresponsible, going overdrawn etc.

I can't win whether I overspend, spend to the last penny or underspend.

Of course you can't Mo. You're not supposed to ever get it right are you

He's going to be tricky going forward so I'd get as much as a lump sum if I were you - then a monthly amount. That you just get

He's a cunt.

He is just an abusive c**t! Tell him you have reported him to the Police as financial abuse is a CRIME!!