Sorry sorry for going awol! P's return date has changed - not his fault - but added torture for me as it means waiting even longer.
Joysmum: sorry to hear you went through that. I know what you mean though. I still find myself stumbling whenever I have to explain my situation and don't assertively come out and say financial abuse - saying it is the hardest thing, even now. Whenever I get to the part of saying what he earns v what we get, I cry almost automatically - partly because every time I've said it I get the same WTF look and it still makes me ashamed.
Mix, OK, I'm getting my doc box ready, to give to a friend for safe keeping. Even if I get a lock on the door, I'd rather not run the risk at all in a fit of rage of him doing something stupid.
Run rabbit - I booked a session, but feel uneasy about the woman it's with. She sounds like she knows her stuff but not sure...not great vibes. Also, she can't fit us in while he's here so I've booked an individual one for me first, and then she said she could contact him via phone or skype. But I'm thinking I need to get him to actually go with me so he can't back out. I've been told you need to have had a mediation session before you think about courts, as it might get thrown out. But what if he doesn't agree? Not sure what then, need to check.
So because his trip as been delayed, it's therefore shorter too. So he will inevitably have more excuses for getting out of things due to time restrictions. He has his all important friend's bloody wedding to attend too. So time with the kids will be decidedly short (who will be at school most of the time).
Boaty, I hate myself for thinking I might give in to him. When I'm weak I can't help it. But when I'm feeling more assertive I kick myself. Why would I allow this to continue? He'll never change. Even this family tragedy won't change him. He still hasn't reached out to me. There's my confirmation.
Love the Minion quote 
And another, probably a bit of a silly thing...I'm on a mission to make sure the cupboards and fridge and freezer are absolutely bare when he does arrive, so he can't even make a cup of coffee or slice of toast for himself. It's not hard to do, but just to make a point and as a reminder that £75 does not keep larders and freezers well stocked for three ravenous children and a woman who never stops bloody moving all day.
Plus, I will tell him I'm going to stay with a friend the night he arrives so will disappear with car and he can figure out how to get two children to school with a third in tow by himself. He didn't give a shit when my car broke down and I had to. Karma fucking chameleon.