The ignoring....gaaaa

[jellybean2000]

That is all.
Yes, I'm divorcing him.
He will continue to stoop to whatever method he can to control, upset and anger me.
Delay, delay, delay.

I've been here for a while but NC a while ago.

Hope the trip went well and that you and the boys enjoyed the trip.

My brother went to Manchester and had a great time. Long time ago, but it's still a really good Uni. Did ds like it?

My bro, his wife, my dad and uncle in law all went there.

So I'm plucking up the courage to email ex and tell him that I expect him to leave when his £ hits his account.

The court order says as much but as I've learnt, this counts for nothing.
He has left note filling in mornings and afternoons he'll do school run ie not the sign of someone moving out.

It's all very well saying give him 1hrs notice and then call police if he doesn't go but I suspect the reality will be different ie I won't be able to channel by inner EastEnders.

Unfortunately you will need to send the email, no doubt he will react and it will be unpleasant but it needs to be said.

Of course the reality is different, I'm sure if you need to then you will. He would be best placed if he didn't piss you off.

Yes you need to send it

I guess something along the lines of "As per the court order you are required to leave what will be my property within 1 hour of the funds leaving the mortgage broker (or whatever - not arriving with him).

Is it worth including that you have taken advice from the police that you can have him removed if he doesn't?

Is it worth saying that the locks will be changed and he is advised to remove his belongings beforehand as a written appointment will be needed to collect items left behind afterwards?

I think he might be able to return once to collect his stuff, accompanied by police. Organised via police. I think.

I would be wary of saying too much, just stating that as soon as the funds reach him he is expected to move out should be enough. It's not exactly coming as a surprise to him.

Yes I will keep it brief.
It's just the timing of sending it I'm struggling with. I think early tomorrow morning will work. I'll drop DS1, swim then come back to sort myself out ready for work while he's doing school run and then make myself scarce before he gets back.
Or I could just go straight to where I've been working from after my swim and then pop back home to make my lunch when he's on his bike.
If I was more organised I'd have got all myself ready this evening but I can't be arsed and know I won't be arsed before 7am.

...and yeah...he's been thinking of moving out since Jan 2015.

Use the time to go and buy new barrels for your locks so that you can change them there and then.

Stay strong FV.

Really hoping the money hits his account early this week.

Sent the email.
Money may be in on Wednesday.

BTW, I won't be celebrating, just breathing. There is nothing to celebrate about being able to live w/o fear in my own home. For this reason I will probably be quite quiet in RL about it as people will think everything's all done and dusted. Does that make sense?

Wednesday? Good stuff.

Yes I understand, it will be a relief. At least should he continue to play his stupid games you will be more confident on dealing with him knowing you can close your door. Forgive me but I will have to do a little happy dance on your behalf.

It's been a long haul, and I know there's more to come. I hope you're able to breathe freely soon.

No reply to my email from ex. He took DS2 out again this evening till 8.30pm.

DS2 tells me him and dad moving on Wednesday. We had agreed that the residency arrangements would start Monday after he moved out so I don't know what to do. Confront him? Surely he should be discussing with me?

No reply to my email from ex. He took DS2 out again this evening till 8.30pm.

DS2 tells me him and dad moving on Wednesday. We had agreed that the residency arrangements would start Monday after he moved out so I don't know what to do. Confront him? Surely he should be discussing with me?

I asked him whether what DS2 said was right. Ignored me. Said that didn't he think we should be discussing together not through DS. Ignored me.
Now he's changing his stupid weekly school run rota to I don't know what.
Bloody hell, he's not going to just go is he....

No he won't... clearly he wants to make you suffer right to the very end. Who was meant to be having DS2 on Wednesday?

Sorry.

Ps. You know he is doing this to punish you for (in his eyes) having all the power. You tell him what he has to do and so he finds something to piss you off whilst carrying out your 'instructions' - it's pathetic but also disgusting the he uses DS2 in that manner.

Just to clarify, you said DS2 told you him and Dad moving on Wednesday, I take it you or he meant that he is helping Dad move?

Money may be in today. It might all kick off, I just don't know what's going to happen.

I shall just get on with my work and forget about it. Yeah...simples.

DS2 told me that he's going to stay with Dad for a few days when he moves on Wed.

DS2 TOLD ex that he wanted me to walk him to school today. Originally it was meant to be me, then ex changed it to him - after I'd told DS2 I was taking him. Twat. Had a lovely walk with him.

A few days sounds far too open ended..

I don't know what to suggest, what I want to say is to send a follow up email, stating that if access is going to be this up in the air and negotiated by a child then it's going to have to be arranged via a court order. You will not accept any arrangement unless made via email from himself. But then I'm not the one having to face him afterwards..

If you do accept it and allow DS2 to stay then you do need a clear date and time he will be returned, in writing. Also you would need to recalculate access, say if he had him for 2 nights then he doesn't have him for the following 2.

Mortgage completed.
Told ex via txt. He said he'd go on Fri. I said no, today. He said Thursday/Fri.

Called police, fucking useless. Ill-advised last week. Unless he threatens to hurt me or actually hurts me then it's "just" a civil matter and I should talk to my sol.
My question to them was "so, you're telling me that there is nothing I can do if there is someone in my house I don't want there?". Only if there is unrest. She (the operator, who I presume isn't trained in EA) said "he's just digging his heels in, some men are like that". Suggested I sleep elsewhere tonight. It's MY HOUSE!

Ex then came back and said he was going 1pm tomorrow and I need to make sure he can get his stuff.
Then he changed it to 5pm. I tried to discuss DS2 with him. Blazing row.
He's back-pedalled on residency agreement.

I said I could just change the locks today. He said he'd make war if I did that and I needed to give him time. You've had time I said. The house wasn't ready, he said. That's not my fault, I said. It's not mine either, he replied.

Not taking any responsibility.

I am appalled.