Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Surely 'I'm afraid of hurting you" means they think you are keener than them?

FINALLY setting off...
It could be numbness/denial(?) But am feeling okay-ish after phonecall... Or maybe prospect of lovely friends.. :)

ocelot yes, you've gone now, but yes that's what I meant.

Agree with conclusions here. How do people who are dating hurt each other? by disappearing suddenly or ending it suddenly. So they basically know that they're going to do that. And it leaks out with the caring sounding ''i don't want to hurt you''

Totally agree with Waving, it's another way to say they don't want a relationship. I had the same last year with a tinder match, late night texts saying 'sorry I fell asleep' so I couldn't get into a conversation. Met and dtd then he ghosted. Then randomly 6 months later I get a whatsapp! Should have pulled his finger out earlier!!

I have one iron now MrRescue who is stilling texting and chatting nicely. I've officially binned the offensive one. A few other matches on tinder but I'm sick of swiping nice ones then the next day they are miles away! I must live in a poor area for single men!

I do like the sound of MrRescue, Foxtrot -any news on a re-schedule?

ocelot I have a feeling you're going to have a rollicking good time with your mates. Good on you.

Hold fire Dee you'll get more info by saying nothing right now. Leave it til tomorrow.

'Scared of hurting you' for me = 'I have no idea what I want but you seem nice'. That's my own particular interpretation.

jolly are you done simmering Maple do you think? What other options are there? Slow fade? Date? Or is it all getting a bit Popcorn-esque?

Just got back from a wonderful 3hr walk with my kids (and sociopath dog).

And I STILL feel fine about Twix! No angst at all today! Amazing!!! I'm hoping that's real progress for me. I finally feel that Twix and I are a 'thing'. It's lovely and my confidence is back I think for the first time in 4 weeks.

Out with girlfriends tonight to the pub. Y'know. Living my amazing life...

Better cut the lawn first....

Very much looking forward to hearing date updates later....

Dee Waving is spot on, it is short for "I don't want to hurt you, BUT I WILL. Don't come crying afterwards, I warned you." Ditch and move on, this guy is not good news..

Waving after my last two attempts at suggesting we have another date, which failed, I think I am done. I will go for a breezy answer when I can be arsed to think of one. He fucked it up, if he wants it he fixes it.

Yeah Jolly I'd go for 'breezy with a hint of brush off'

Ha!

I might faint with excitement! There's a tinder match within 10 miles who looks normal and gorgeous I will attempt to turn him into a proper iron...

Ocelot You are very brave to call him and try to get some answers.

Dee I'm sorry he is being confusing.

I'm feeling a bit low, have heard from Mr Perfume whom I went on a date with last night, but I don't know if he sounds as keen. Not sure I am either. Sigh.

Fed up of another bank holiday on my own with my children. Lots of photos on FB of friends doing wonderful things and I feel really, really flat. Moan, moan, moan!

Certainly not a GOOD Friday!!!

Yeah I feel same Steady just me and my little boy on our own as usual, been to the park and was full of happy families felt so alone

MrBeard still in touch regular and I do like him but he works a lot n has his kids when not and he lives an hour from me so I just don't see it working long term

steady and sparkles I know exactly how you feel about seeing families and being on your own with your children. It smarts like hell, I usually hate Easter much more than any other time of the year.

This year I was ready for it so today we had a long list of jobs, errands, shopping and a walk. I've only just stopped and the day has been ok, I've been too busy to notice the desolation of it, the house looks great and we're ready for Easter.
I think tomorrow I may resort to Batman vs Superman, despite the poor reviews.

Captian Pugwash and I messaged after our date last night. He worked today and is going out tonight so he hasn't been in touch. That's fair enough, we had no agreement about frequency of messaging, he asked me out again and was very complimentary so I'm being ridiculous but aargh I really want him to send me a text!
I'd forgotten about the frustration of dating.

How do you all rationalise the POF thing where you can see which of your contacts are logged on?

I got chatting to someone last night, exchanged mobile numbers, have been texting today, and planning to meet in next week or so. Obviously this means absolutely nothing at this stage, but I still feel a teeny weeny bit peeved that he's clearly been logged on all evening chatting to people. So what I'm wondering is this - what happens after you start dating someone and you see them on there all the time in the early stages? How do you stop it upsetting you?

Jolly I think if you've not even met then they are definitely nurturing other irons. In the way we all encourage each other to do.

The tricky bit is seeing them online once you've met and seen potential for something good... that's the real test of nerve. What I did (delete my account) was rather drastic. Don't do that!

And re all those 'happy families' on bank hols - I always think that when I was miserable and confused in my marriage we probably still looks like a great family in public - in fact I know we did. You can't tell on bank hols who really has a happy family.

Looking forward to to hearing about 314's date...

So I fell asleep super early last night, and woke up to only one message "what are you looking for?". Argh!

Eldest's birthday party today, shopping is bringing me wine and chocolate.....

Catch up later!

Update. Date was ok. Not brilliant. Indian with no beer - weird. Film - crap. He is/can be very witty and funny. But i noticed last bight because i was sober that he deflects any personal question. I wasnt asking anything inappropriate. I think im an open book.

Also worryingly i didnt feel like i wanted to kiss him. But i dont feel like i dont ever want to see him again.
confused......
luckily im getting up dressed ready and putting the passports in my bag now. Back tomorrow evening. Meeting Bear. Im looking forward to that but i dont think prefering bear is making me feel ho hum about mrcanceller..

314 sounds like you are interested in him. I'm going to stick my neck on the line and suggest you see him again. That deflecting thing he does - it's a protective mechanism, he's not as ready as you are to open up. But if he's funny and witty then I think you can afford to gently and playfully point this out at some point? Sounds to me it's worth keeping with it just now. Even if it's for the fun and the wit? What's the harm? Plus you had an 'OK' date with a curry with no beer and rubbish film. That's not bad...

When I met Mr2014/15 (together 8 months) I didn't feel like I wanted to kiss him. Yet I was curious about him. So I decided to kiss him and see what happened. He ended up being the most compatible lover I have ever had. Just saying......

Have uncomplicated and unbridled fun with Bear

This made my day, as I suspected shes found love there is hope for all of us!

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/mar/26/stella-grey-and-edward-walk-off-together-into-the-sunset

Hi ladies. Can anyone join this thread or it is already a clique?

(Sorry, that sounds way passive-aggressive! Isn't meant to).

Everyone is free to join this thread Geordie am sure the thread regulars would love have you come on board.

Ooh Yey, Geordie - welcome! Have you started dating? Or just thinking about it? Welcome!