Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Ocelot there's no doubt that a lot of men (and women ) lie abut their age, some of the men my age look old enough to be my dad FFS! Who are they trying to kid?

When are all these phone calls happening? I'm on tenterhooks here and I haven't even starting dating yet!

Ooh, sounds like a winner Handy, well done!

Hello everyone!

Waving & Handy the pining bench looks great from where I am standing haha

Good luck Ocelot, hope it goes well!

I have finally found a way to get retrieve my car by myself like the big girl that I am so will not be needing MrOrganizedYogi's services after all, yay!

Talking about him, I need a rant about men and their lack of consistency in communication. MrOrganizedYogi has not replied to my Friday night text. Nothing. Nada. I know he is busy, and TBF I have said I will only be available after Easter but because I agreed on a second date, it is like he feels no need to put in any effort at all. same goes for KarmicIron who ended the conversation yesterday by "let's talk again nearer to the date".. Do they think they cannot sustain a week of texting?? I am not asking for a conversation everyday but how hard is it to casually check in every other day or so, keeping the ball rolling? Since when does "yes to a date" equate "it is a done deal, go back to Netflix"? Argh.

Date wise I am supposed to see these two next week but I am not sure I will be arsed to get out of the house when they cannot pull out their phones.

Channeling positivity, I opened Tinder here in the back of the woods and I have 17 SUPER LIKES. Since yesterday. I am no super model, this place must be extremely slim pickings, I feel like I am the last woman left on earth after an alien attack

Haha re alien attack! And I hear you jolly re the crap communication. Twix seems positively chatty (by text anyway) compared to that.

Annoying.

17 Superlikes you are hot stuff, to be fair. Ain't no aliens....

Evening ladies.

My house is immaculate, chores all done, DC's to be collected first thing and I am ready for 4 days of fun with my girlfriends! Cannot wait!

waving it's sweet that you are pining. I very seriously doubt that MTG is going to change his mind whilst away. At all. He seems all in. So for what it's worth I would completely relax.

handy yay on the twix call! I'm totally a phone call person. Not if its early days or anything. But once there is something more than simple drinks/ dinner dates I absolutely expect phone calls. Texting does not build intimacy nor connection for me. I am the same with my very close friends.

alaugh it's so funny. Since I started my divorce proceedings I have met a few older women (60's/ 70's). Without fail everyone of them has said to not rush a relationship and to enjoy my life without the complication of a man. When elders impart advice I do stop and take heed. It's played a part in my wanting to cool off from the dating game. Each to their own I guess.

jolly I'm suffering from the same problem with scot. His communication skills are absolutely shit. Am done making excuses for him, either he can't be arsed. Or if this is him making an effort then I can't be arsed. He sends one liners to my texts (always replies), but he doesn't extend conversation or have any banter. It's more exciting watching paint dry then texting him.

can you tell I'm totally going off him?

I don't blame you for your rant. I'm so over boring men / ones that can't be bothered.

Update - my most talkative friend phoned at 6 just after I'd poured a glass of wine to relax my nerves...she is quite hard to stop so by the time she finished at 7.20 I'd past peak wine(!) & was hungry & tired & had lost my mojo :( now I think its too late so will have to do it in the morning I think.... :(

Waving I think they systematically pop in first when you open the app not that I am counting them oh no

A www Handy that is sweet, you are right i need to take the confidence boost and stop wondering whether the competition are cyclops. Well done on the phone call!

Sassy It is such a turn off. But at the same time I do not really know how to communicate it without sounding like a nag. And that is assuming they are clueless, not just lazy.. --

jolly it is a huge turn off. Yup.
I need the mental repartee and banter. That's sexy to me. I think that there is a degree of laziness. But equally there are ones who have low wit. I think the ones who are lazy but witty could even text you once every few days and make you smile/ laugh out loud. Keeping that connection alive. I'm getting the daily texts and yet am underwhelmed to say the least. This does not make me high maintenance.

Yeah when there is no wit in the daily texts/just plain old straight replies that's pretty depressing.

Confession time - I'm feeling a bit that there's quite a bit of dating chat that has moved off the thread and on to fb. Thought there were no evening dates but am wrong. This was what I was 'worried' about....

I'm here handy .

And....... The banter has just started. He has lifted his game. Most excellent.

Ooh Yey! On both fronts!

Lol @ pining. waving I have pining envy!

Am here too can't get enough of it all

Yay Sassy! Goof job with Scot. Did you tell him something?

it's so funny. Since I started my divorce proceedings I have met a few older women (60's/ 70's). Without fail everyone of them has said to not rush a relationship and to enjoy my life without the complication of a man. When elders impart advice I do stop and take heed. It's played a part in my wanting to cool off from the dating game. Each to their own I guess.

Sassy, I've been given that exact same advice from women in their fifties such as my friend who hasn't had sex for six years! Although I agree that it might not be a good idea to rush into anything there's no harm in having a bit of fun is there? I sometimes wonder what's wrong with these women - do they not want sex or are they just trying to avoid intamcy because they' fear being hurt?

That said, I think there's a happy medium so I should probably take heed of their advice too.

What's wrong with me? The ink hasn't even dried on the divorce papers and I'm already looking on OLD to see if there's anyone worth shagging!

Ooooh and I just saw that I have angsting material to bring to the table.. I did not reply to Maple's boring last text (asking me about my job instead of seizing the obvious hint at having a second date). And he just sent another one "uh that can't be good news".

I don't know know if I am pissed off that he seems unable to see why I have not answered or that he thought he could just simmer me merrily. Or maybe I should be happy that he is finally registering for he fact that I may be slipping through his fingers. Please guys help me make some sense out of this and/or help me get some sense into him!

What was it again? Communication?

Good for you though Laugh

Am feeling like I fucked up by phoning Twix.

Delivered a premature mooseburger. I think it was too soon for a phonecall and that's not ok for me 6 dates and 400000000 text messages in. Something is not right with this.

Am reviewing my innerds with all this.

Remember the mantra 'does he make you feel good?'

I'm starting to think - no, actually....

I'm here too! The benefit of having no dates (or indeed irons) means that I can keep up with both thread and group...though I have to say I've been really busy today and it's quicker somehow to just do a FB comment etc.

ocelot shame you didn't get a chance to phone tonight. How are you feeling about that?

jolly 17 super likes! Hot stuff! I have never had a single one. Are any of them worth following up on?

Sassy I could do with a bit of wit and repartee. Bacon was very good with that (and the flrirting!) but heard nothing from him since Tuesday. Ah well. I can't pine over someone I've never met, right?!

Handy well done on the phone call! You know whenever you fret about something re Twix, it always ends up fine, right?

I'm here too Handy! Just sat down and going to catch up with the thread. I'm feeling a lot more positive after my mini meltdown this morning. Shaking off a dubious iron has helped! I think when I'm busy chatting to a few different men adds to my stress.

I agree with all above who like chatty and witty texts in between and leading up to dates. It shows effort and interest and I think that's quite basic.

Jolly I'm impressed with your 17 superlikes! I have deleted tinder yet despite the idiot I was speaking to yesterday. And tonight there have been a few reasonable men to swipe so I'm hoping to get a few good matches

...... And another thing. That's making me feel something is really up with all this - I've been merrily messaging Cufflinks. Who I know I could just talk honesty and openly to. And say the words 'are you available on X or Y day' and he would say 'yes' or 'no'. I actually want that, not the 'sit out the 10 days in silence even though you dtd' thing.

Sh1t guys.

Sorry. Some X-posting. Having a meltdown re Twix.

Freaky yes it ends up ok. For about an hour. It's not ok enough I don't think.

Handy I really don't think that was a mooseburger! It was only a six minute catch up on the phone. I agree with Freaky, remember how shocked he was when you talked about being exclusive and anything otherwise hasn't entered his head?

Freaky I've told myself many times regarding my slow fader - how can I get so hung up over someone I've met twice . Luckily for me the distraction of other (albeit unsuitable) irons is helping!