Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

That's a wise thing to ask for. A healing relationship.

Laugh I know that feeling. Yesterday was a big day with layers of conflicting emotions. You can't expect to be feeling your strongest today, so forgive yourself for that.

We are all here and know what it's like. But you can be your own best friend. And you can give yourself some of that care you crave. Can you show yourself a small act of kindness? Something a friend might do for you, perhaps?

And yes to the sex, although it doesn't normally happen without some emotional dimension. So there's no easy solution to that.

Just hang on in there today.

for Laugh

Laugh I completely understand that physical need for someone to be close to you. After my divorce I was looking for only casual partners as I didn't feel I could deal with more at the time. I ended up with a surprise six month relationship but mostly while the encounters were fun, I did feel a little hollow afterwards. I needed that emotional connection and I just wasn't ready. It definitely takes time and looking after yourself, being kind to yourself.

My coffee date was today but I've had to cancel. I have an ill child, meaning cancelled date and juggling work around. I had a slight meltdown this morning when it appeared that my clinic was equal priority to my ill child . Seriously lost my positivity!! But MrRescue has been understanding and I do want to reschedule.

It's interesting Handy that you didn't think you'd find Twix attractive. What made you give him a chance? Maybe I should be swiping those men on tinder that are not a definite no.

I tried to post last night but was a bit disorientated with snow motion sickness (its really a thing!) & maybe didn't send. ...

When I was feeling rough did not think I could face phoning but feel a bit better now so its still the plan. ...have taken the precaution of arranging to go to Wales tmrw so wont have much time home alone if its a bad outcome....

Apologies in advance for any posts on here in the coming days if it is bad...

ocelot good luck with the phone call. We are here for the fallout....

Foxtrot what a bummer re your ill child. I know that horrible feeling of clinic vs sick child. V frustrating. What a shame you had to postpone MrRescue.

Re Twix I loved the way he messaged but (sssh) thought he was a bit 'odd' looking (haha!) and I said as much on here. I was completely wrong. I think the messaging is more important than the photo.

Good luck Ocelot x

Just popping in to say good luck ocelot and post here as much as you need to, please don't worry about that. x

Yes, the event I attended was via Match.

Healing relationships for everyone!!!!!

Oh, good luck, Ocelot, let us know whatever happens. We're here to support you. X

+1 ocelot on the support. We're all leaning on one another, it's what we are here for

Trills, you're right that I shouldn't see it as rejection but as has been said many times before, most of the men on OLD want someone much younger even though most of the women want someone nearer their own age. Anyway, shocking though it might seem, I've decided to knock 4 years off my real age because I'm a fit looking 51 year old (even though I say so myself ) and I don't want to be messaged by a load of unfit 60 year olds! I'm only looking for a FWB type situation anyway so I don't think it matters. So I am pleased to say I am now a fit looking 47!

Thank you all for the lovely words and positive vibes. I'm still a bit in shock that I'm actually divorced but my ex (love calling him that! ) was abusive so I know I made the right decision.

I spoke to a friend who has been single for six years on the phone this morning and she said she couldn't understand why I'm so desperate to find a man (her words not mine ) and I said I couldn't understand why she doesn't want a man and hasn't had a shag for six years! I guess it's horses for courses!

Good luck Ocelot, stay strong!

Waving, no doubt he is pining for you too! I bet he'll want to see you the moment he gets home. Happy days eh?

Aw.... Thx for thinking of me & all yr good wishes :)

And for promising to be there for the fallout...!

I'm torn between channelling universe positivity & envisaging the best possible outcome :)
& telling myself to think of the absolute worst possible because reality is never quite THAT bad....

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst Ocelot!

And look at it this way, even if he says no, it's positive cos it'll enable you to move on and eventually find someone else.

ALaugh I know what its like with 50 something men looking for 35-45 yo so I don't blame you! I don't know if men wear much worse than women but i sometimes think they all lie about their ages by maybe a decade... i did eventually find some dates of similar age....

And I have friends like that who have withdrawn from the trauma(!) of dating etc but I'm like you that it mayters so much & will have to get out there somehow when I control the pining :(
I tend to agree with 314 that I am potentially more 'successful' in real life but I am quite shy with men I fancy too...

Thx Freaky .... thats the way it is. .

As well as crying on yr shoulders, I can go to Wales as early as needed tmrw into the arms of dear friends :)

I've really planned this rather well so its now or never!

Go for it, ocelot

waving are we both on the pining bench together? could be 10 days before another Twix date.

Am going for a MH '3 minute phonecall' in a while with Twix to try and get the connection more open. Been dating 4 weeks and not yet spoke on the phone! What's that about then?

Trying to stay reassured that it's cool/early/hello stage but also slightly that it's not enough communication as per 314 and H....

e.g. I could message Cufflinks right now and get a date in the diary. But don't feel I could do that with Twix.

My boss says I should just stop being controlling and chill out! She's prob right.

Aw.... Waving thats so cute you pining for these 6 days you are out of touch.... :)

I'm willing the universe to have as good a plan for me... :)

Handy, I think a lot of people prefer to communicate by text or email these days so it's probably nothing to worry about. Hope the phone call goes well anyway.

So '3 minute phonecall' executed a la MH.

Actually it was six mins MH Fail as we got chatting about a couple of things.

Tues night date may in fact be a goer, depending on his client. I think I would not have found that out had it not been by phone.

He asked if I was still child-free Tues so all good.

Glad I did that