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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

999 replies

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 16/03/2016 15:12

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.
OP posts:
HandyWoman · 19/03/2016 10:10

Ah that's good, Steady - trust your gut is my motto apart from in the last few weeks where I have no idea what I'm doing

Mag314s · 19/03/2016 10:11

DeeDee, Yeh, I hope MrNice lives up to his name.

Mag314s · 19/03/2016 10:16

waving {stalker face} I looked on your fb list under recently added and MTG is gorgeous!!

WavingNotDrowning · 19/03/2016 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HandyWoman · 19/03/2016 10:24

Oh I can't remember! Think iTunes and podcasts? Search for him in there? I subscribe and they come quite frequently. Although I'm really free styling it with Twix but am worried I'll cock it up. I just need to calm down, I know think.

Mag314s · 19/03/2016 10:25

I'm this [|] close to sending mr canceller an email to reprimand him - specifically for seeking email reassurances from me and then disappearing! I'll sit on my hands for now, but next Sunday week I'll be at the airport, on my own, with a phone in my hand. I can see myself sending a message then. But...... by then I'll have had time to detach, and I may not want to bother any more. I know you're supposed to walk away and not let them know they bothered you but it does bother me because we connected, and I gave him a second chance, and he disappeared AGAIN. But not before he prompted me to play my hand.

But I will sit on myhands and go and do 30 day shred level one and then the davina 10 minute abs one from fit in five.

HandyWoman · 19/03/2016 10:38

Oh 314 eeeek. I think that's the right plan. Give yourself another seven days and reserve the right to reprimand.

My new rule is there are no rules!!!!!!!

So Cufflinks has replied to my rather inane message by saying 'all quiet on the Cufflinks front' hahaha!!!! So he's after another intense round of flirtatious banter.

Is this a) the distraction I need to get me to chill the feck out with Twix or......... b) do I keep it low key and avoid getting into it.....? Hmmmmmm................................ I've allowed myself a morning of doing nothing today after my mad 14hr day yesterday. Hence the navel gazing. Sorry...

WavingNotDrowning · 19/03/2016 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

abbsismyhero · 19/03/2016 10:41

im setting up a date with mr big im wondering if he lives up to his username?

HandyWoman · 19/03/2016 10:44

waving Oh yes. We can do this together. We can. I'm off for my run. Let's share thoughts later.

abbiss hee hee!

Mag314s · 19/03/2016 11:00

Yeh, Handy I was trying to discuss it with a friend last night but she said ''oh would you stop quoting cosmo". I had something about a high value woman.

Handy, I'd send an enigmatic one, ''things are looking up on the Handy front". He might think you mean because he texted you though. Hmmm.

Mr Big = big nose I bet!!

Can I talk about Six Degrees of Separation ? I feel a little bit discombobulated following a connection I discovered last night whilst fb snooping . You think you're dating a totally random stranger and it turns out that that person has a connection to your real people real life. Shock

It's happened to me twice now what's weird is that both times the connection has been the same man!! I had this teenage boyfriend who I shall call Caravaggio, who turned out to be gay. But we were like bonnie and clyde for about five years. I sent Caravaggio an incredibly angry, pompous, judgemental and sanctimonious letter when I was about 22 haven't heard from him since. Chatting about life and youth with Bear, it turned out that Bear's xgf is friends with Caravaggio. Shock

So, that was months ago, I'm over that shock, my Mum told me that caravaggio was returning to our home town because he owns a house here. I was scrolling through Caravaggio's FB friends list Blush when who should I spot on his list but Mr Canceller's sister. Shock The weird thing is that Caravaggio only has 51 people on his list so he's obviously cautious about who he lets on. They're mostly cousins, close friends, his brother, sister, bIl and sil etc.

Sorry, that is nothing to do with dating really. More just a feeling that the universe is telling me I need to iron out the wrinkle in my conscience. I need to approach Caravaggio the next time I see him in the distance and apologise for sending him such a pompous judgemental letter 20+ years ago. He won't care, but still. It's a wrinkle i can't smooth out for me.

DrFoxtrot · 19/03/2016 11:32

I'm enjoying the thread today, so much positivity. Good thoughts to everyone having dates today Smile.

The northern aspect is getting bigger, I am pretty close to you NotTodayDear.

I am enjoying several new tinder matches, some a little boring, some easy conversations, see if I can get something more substantial in the way of dates.

314 I love your high value suggestion of 'this are looking up on the Handy front'.

HandyWoman · 19/03/2016 11:57

314 I'm loving your suggestion for my Cufflinks message Smile I can channel MH with Cufflinks instead. That will make me feel better!

Hahah re big nose...

OMG re The Caravaggio Connection. The universe is definitely telling you something there. There is a wrinkle there to iron out. It's the positive vibrations working for you. I love that.

HandyWoman · 19/03/2016 12:06

Hahahahaha am laughing at the message I just sent Cufflinks. I excelled myself Grin I nearly referred to myself as 'Handy' though but stopped myself just in time. My message also included stuff about having just been for a run and getting in the shower. know it will kill him.

Thanks for the inspiration there.....

Hahahahahaha!! What fun!!!!

DrFoxtrot · 19/03/2016 12:09

Hahaha love it Handy Grin

lampshady · 19/03/2016 12:43

Hi! I've followed these threads loosely and am after some advice please...

Met some on tinder about a month ago, physically met two weeks ago and have seen each other four times since then. I'm smitten! It's ridiculous, he's absolutely bloody lovely, kind, patient etc.

But! We've known each other two weeks. How do I slow things down/chill out about him? I don't want to give too much of myself away and the logical part of my brain is screaming at me.

Any advice gratefully received.

Trills · 19/03/2016 12:56

Oh yes be careful not to tell anyone your internet name Handy ! :o

Sounds lovely lampshady but you are right to want to be careful.

The only cure for thinking about someone too much (whether it's in a good way or a bad way) is to keep busy and do and think about other things.

Trills · 19/03/2016 13:06

I am having a duvet day with my cold so not feeling like going online and doing much flirting.

Received a lukewarm text from MrFrance along the lines of "Thanks for a great evening... Let me know if you're up for meeting again, otherwise feel free to leave at that". Very polite and unpushy, but if I HAD wanted to see him again I'd find it a bit underwhelming.

Mag314s · 19/03/2016 13:09

ha ha at calling yourself Handy. Omg! On the 14th March I was tempted to make reference on fb to pie day. Feeling some ownership of the day!!

I have nearly called Bear Bear. Except, I think I could get away with it because he told me himself some gay guys called him a Bear and he tried to look young and said ''no I'm a twink, surely?" They told him no. He is in his forties with a beard so he aint no twink.

Exercise done. 30 ds level one + a 10 minute Davina abs section. Feel so much better for it.

Mag314s · 19/03/2016 13:11

Trills yeh, I guess he's covering himself from the embarrassment of you rejecting him. It comes across as half-hearted I know but before reading MH I might have sent a text just like that!

Trills · 19/03/2016 13:14

I guess you could read it as "not bothered" or could read it as "breezy" depending on the tone. :)

HandyWoman · 19/03/2016 13:36

Twix minus 40 mins.

Eeeeek!

Butterflies.

brabit · 19/03/2016 13:45

Update from me on planned date yesterday with MrSurrey; sadly he was bureaved the day of our date and couldn't make it but he was veyrysweet and concerned about me and letting me down, which only made me like him more, so I'm quite smitten now. Will not be dating anyone else and will just wait for my postponed date.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 19/03/2016 14:08

I want to see MTG!!! How did you work out who it was?

HandyWoman · 19/03/2016 14:17

I want to see MTG too!!!