Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Sassy - I'm with you - delete delete. Clears space in your head for yourself . Sorry to hear about that grim collection you had.
Waving how big is MTG's beard going to be by the time he gets back?

Hello again.

I joined POF and I'm finding it quite amusing, there are some strange ones out there. Some random has just sent me his mobile number asking if I can "get out" tonight is that normal?

I have a couple I'm back and forth with but I'd rather talk about work and free time than preferred sexual positions!

Jolly that is a good idea, I can quite easily text I'm at Central Perk (or wherever) coffee shop come and join me. To be honest I'm not overly bothered about texting him. I just would have expected more texting by now especially from him and what with a few other phrases that he's mentioned that I've said here I'm sure it's not a goer but I'd know then wouldn't I?!

TooSassy if anyone in the London area wants to join me they're more than welcome. I have only asked one friend along so far she is busy so will just check on some others. I'm sure a few may think it's too out there but it's the sort of event I cope with quite well. I do know someone who would definitely come along if she's free!

Waving can I just ask, suppose with MTG away Soho suddenly texts for whatever reason what would you do?

Hey ladies. Back from my first date since Mr Short ghosted me! first date with a man my own age (26) I call him Mr Ginger. Anyway we had a nice time, ended up having dinner together.

He asked me out on a second date at the end of the night, already texting me when im home.

Going take this one slow, don't get carried away like I did with Mr Short in case I get ghosted again.

Hope your all having a great Friday evening!

Rebecca (think I remembered you from a few threads back).

Glad it went well and you had dinner (good when it happens organically and dinner occurs).

I totally get you re not taking things fast. I do this (but for another reason I won't say here) and if I didn't sometimes I wonder why I am doing that?! Maybe it would be easy if I was easy going. Which I am generally!

Sassy I LOVE your advice about deleting everything I'm going to remember that and do it if I get to the 'what's the point' stage. And 314 I am totally going to copy your navy seal fitness idea. If my slow fader returns I want to be in tip top condition and most likely I will not care by then even if he doesn't make contact.

Ocelot I'm Preston direction so I'm very happy to go across to Yorkshire to meet, I could treat it as a short break and book myself a lovely hotel for a night.

Yes, I did a workout earlier and then I had a beer and I'm going to do one tomorrow morning. I'll have to get up quite early as I need to be somewhere, but I want to get my equilibrium back. I used to feel so invincible.

I can put my finger on why mr canceller's silence is so exasperating. It's because, when you're sitting next to each other after a few drinks, you kind of know that it's fifty:fifty if any plans you make come to fruition. What is bugging me is that he sought reassurance from me by email. Would you like to go out again? "yes!" i emailed back. Then, did I mind that he'd kissed me?. "no!" I emailed back.

So, it was extremely self-indulgent of him to seek those reassurances from me and then go silent on me.

If Mr Canceller has pulled the same stunt twice I would really not be wasting any more energy and thoughts on him. Easier said than done though, and I can hardly talk as I'm still thinking about my slow fader. I text him earlier and he did reply within a few hours. I need to leave him be to work out his busy life and whether he wants to be with me (unlikely as I'm sure he'd be finding time for contact). I hate that 50:50 you're describing 314, I discussed plans to meet again and slow fader said 'I'm sure I'll have time on x weekend', then it was 'I didn't realise I was so busy'. I just knew it wasn't going to happen and I felt really foolish.

Superfly I been dating on-off for a year and I was on this thread a year ago, mind you it was too soon as only few months after my separation. Have you been here long?

Mag definitely sounds like Mr cancellor has low self esteem and is using women to prop up his confidence

Ello ladies. Been at work since 9am on call and just got home. Phone could go at any time. Loving the brilliant women on a 'delete messages and exercise' mission. This should go in the rules I think. Laughing at the idea of ocelot swiping right at the top of a mountain! Haha!!!

Will be going for a run myself in the morning. Before Twix comes over for the daytime/evening date. I just cannot cannot cannot wait to see him. Bloody hell ladies. I've got it bad.

Yeh i think you right. He is a nice guy but i have my shit together and he told me his type 'used to be wounded damaged vulnerable types'.

Well that's not me.
I feel like emailing him to tell him that while it's his absolute prerogatibe not to go out with me again, he could have made that decision before he sought email reassurances from me.
why check with me that i still wanted to go out again!
Grrr
does he feel better?? I somehow doubt it.

Don't think Bagel is that interested. Apparently MrCS is free tomorrow night

DrFoxtrot I think you are very near me!

Morning all! I think I might have a new iron... It was all going very well last night on POF, until I fell asleep

I'd like to give him my number and suggest we message/Whatsapp instead. Is there an etiquette for how long before you exchange numbers, and who does it first? I usually wait for the man to ask me, but this iron hasn't yet.

Going back to read the thread.

So the northern chapter of the thread is growing! Epicentre so far could be Skipton - I'll check the map...

Yes swiping right more here - alpine mountain men are so much more appealing! :)

Steady from my own POV I just know if I feel there is a good vibe and if so, I ask pretty early if they want to move the meesaging over. Personally I hate messaging through apps. Go for it!

Waving I just know that from experience the ones we have huge chemistry with (what used to be termed as "bad guys"!) are the ones who have the hold over our hearts not heads and they can be the clingers on in our heads for months.

What I will say about soho like many others have said (I've only read a few threads about him) is that he sounds very emotionally unavailable and also his depression/withdrawing etc is his problem. I made the mistake with a few men thinking I could fix them, their poor little problems etc... You can't, you won't, you shouldn't.

I had an ex a bit like this (OLD) he's moved abroad, dating a woman about 15 years his junior (who has no idea of his crap) but they're moved in together (he's English) probably because he has or had so much debt it's easier for him... She's already posted on FB way too much about their relationship and mentioned something about him being silent (he was a bit like an ostrich that way) and I thought if you think you can change that side.... Anyway I am over him!

Steady some people have etiquette some don't I personally if all looks well I usually ask after a week, but you could do it sooner.

Superfly I agree re the ones with chemistry. They are sooo difficult to shake off, emotionally.

Just had a 'How's Handy?' Whatsapp from Cufflinks. Hahaha! No idea what to say! For those who don't know, Cufflinks is a guy who I also liked and had a lot of chemistry with, but he is very open about being on a shagging mission and is an open IDWAR (I kinda respect his honesty). But we also have stuff in common and he knows I am a high value woman and he enjoys pursuing me. The banter has been fantastic but I have no idea whether I should maybe keep him right on the back burner on gas mark 0.5. I haven't been thinking about him at all since El Twixo. Who will be here in a while with his toothbrush - eeeek!!!

Handy he asked for mine, so it was all good

Morning Ladies...
Hope all is well here...
I have a date on Wednesday with Mr nice...(this is his profile name) and it would just be nice if he lived up to his name...

Just listened to the MH podcast about the exclusivity talk. As usual MH suggests just stating you like them (after like two months hahaha so I got that wrong already) and telling them your standard ie 'I have no idea if we would have an amazing relationship and you don't need to answer but I'm just letting you know I'm looking for something with direction' sorta thing. I've already been breaking the MH rules.

Twix wrote on his profile that an emotional connection is really important to him. And I think from what I gather so far he is a Relathonship Man.

So I don't know if the MH stance applies here. Because it doesn't feel as casual as the MH world portrays. And I know that if we get very intimate then I'll be in a bit of a hook, line and sinker situation.

What the hell happened to me???

Another four hours to ponder my strategy... Or whether I even need one. Oh god am literally torturing myself!!!!!! Please calm me down/slap me/give me a strategy. We are going for a walk so it's cool really. I think...

Wow Handy, Twix is coming over with his toothbrush!
Weird how Cuffliinks sent a whatsapp at this moment. I think people can sense the universe taking the option (they believed they had) away from them.