would you?

[hurtandconfued2016]

Just wondering my ex asked (more like demanded) me today when we where registering our daughter when he could see the kids again. Hasn't seen our son in a month and only met his daughter today (2 weeks old). I said that he couldn't take new baby away on his own I would need to be there whilst he is seeing her. He went mental at me and has now not bothered to make plans to see them tomorrow.
My question is would you give your 2 week old away for hours? I suggested going to soft play or something and we could rotate with the kids so we didn't have to sit near each other but he said no to that too..

Iam - we sat down with his 3 month rota back on the 29th March and wrote days that suited us both.
So we haven't organised days for the month of March at all. So I don't even have ruff idea on days he wants to see ds

I wonder when he will realise! Just leave him to it, unfortunately it does mean you won't really know what's going on. I agree on the not contacting him.

I'm sorry you are still dealing with depression and anxiety, glad you have the support of your counsellor.

Thanks iam I will get there I can't be any more thankful for all the help on here it really has helped me thru!

Just remember that you don't have to sit and wait to see what he'll 'do'. You have a life to live, too. If you want to do something, do it. If you want to go somewhere, go. If he calls and you have other plans, too bad, so sad, he loses! If he shows up and you aren't home, if he calls and you have plans, tough titty! That's NOT 'obstructing contact'. That's him being an entitled prick. Remember, being accommodating does NOT mean you drop everything if he wants to see the children. Being accommodating means that you follow an agreed upon schedule. A schedule that he is not cooperating with you in setting.

Honestly, I'd probably be doing quite a lot out of the house in June. Lovely month for walks, parks, visits, activities. And I'm sure your parents would love some 'family time' out and about with you and DCs of a weekend.

Yeah we have lots of birthday parties one of them actually falls on father's day and I know he's going to be mad he doesn't see the kids but I can't help it!

My parents are going on holiday in June they asked to take me and the kids but I said I couldn't because I wouldn't be available for him to see the kids but now I regret it!

Can you change your mind? Maybe join your parents for part of the holiday?

It would be to latecnow to get little ones passport and that. It would have been nice but maybe next year

Lord almighty. Only halfway through thread. Forget his parents. If you haven't already, change locks and report theft and get a legal letter sent.

Milk- I know sorry it's a long one....
I've stopped speaking to his parents. A letter was sent 2 weeks ago. The house is now going up for sale.

I am so glad. Sorry I was just so incensed reading this. I don't think my previous message posted but my dp is divorced with 2 kids and he would and will move heaven and earth for an extra 5 mins with his kids. Even when things are at their most acrimonious, that's what people do because the kids come first. If he can't put his kids first and is this controlling you are better off with a clean sheet even if it means being slightly worse off. I hope this is the start of something much, much better for you.

Thanks milk- I wish ex was like this reduced days not there for emergency care (not because of work but gf) seen his daughter twice in 12 weeks! I'm just so exhausted by him!
I would love to just shut the door on him that would be better for me and the kids!

We bit of karma happened today! So went up to our house and the police had been because ex drove away without paying for his petrol last week! So not only is he getting into trouble for not paying but now because his car isn't registered at his house!

Bwah-hahahahahah!

Did you take a picture of the citation/letter? I would.

Too bad about the holiday. I was hoping it would be an excuse to be gone.

Speaking of being gone, I'm leaving today for about 6 weeks of RVing around the US. I'll be reading even if I'm not posting.

You stay strong and remember that, in the end, you will be happy and peaceful!! Listen to your lawyer and you won't go wrong.

I sure did also took a picture of the bed he should have taken for ds but hasn't!

I will get a wee break soon with the kids!
Aw enjoy I done some travelling when I was younger there (mums family are American) it was great!

Thank you so much for all you help and support

Have a good trip Across

Hmmm yes, karma indeed. Lol

Not a happy bunny so hadn't heard from ex and he shows up today to take ds!!

Of course he does!

Just keep track of the days.

We're in spotty coverage but having a good time. In the Badlands of South Dakota.

I didn't hand ds over and him and his dad stormed away my health visitor was in and she was raging but I'm glad she heard and saw the way they are!

Oh that sounds lovely! Hope you are enjoying it x

Good for you! And I'm so glad the health visitor witnessed it. Did they know she was there? Lol

What did you say to them?

No they didn't know she was there.
I just went to the door (I wasn't expecting them so was completely off gaurd) and his dad said eh wee fella? I just said no we don't have days organised he said well you have his rota and I just said no I don't that rota finished last week.
My ex just stormed to the car going let's go lol

I've been feeling so shitty about this all day feeling guilty that I never let him just take ds. But I can't be weak to him again I have to stand my ground.

Well been a while since I had to deal with anyone from his family! Then today was in the supermarket with the 2 kids and seen his my ex's dad! My son shouted on him he turned round looked at us and walked away! I was so angry I just burst into tears I get if he doesn't want to speak to me but his grandkids?

Hi Hurt, hope you and the DCs are well. As your son gets older he will notice this behaviour and it will effect their relationship, Grandads loss... Silly man. You can't make your ex be a decent father and you can't make his parents be decent either. Don't fret over it.

How is everything else going, is he seeing your son?

Hi iam I still haven't heard from him or his lawyer. It has been 6 weeks since I sent my last letter and 5 weeks since he seen ds.

His cousin came over for a coffee yesterday and it turns out his family still didn't know we had separated and that he doesn't seen the kids. His cousin has now been disowned by him and his immediate family for talking to me!

My parents have been on holiday for a week and I am loving it! I miss having my own house. I was worried about my mental health but it has been so much better!

Hopefully eventually you will have your own place again even if it's a rental.

I hope you filled his cousin in with how you have been treated.

I sure did but I didn't make it all he said she said stuff. I showed her the lawyers letters so she seen it all for her self really. She was so disgusted by him and his family