Do men fall in love?

[Custardcreamssummerdreams]

Or at least in the same women do?

Just reflecting on life really now I am older.

They appear to be able to move on quicker?

Not all men are so sex obsessed arsenal just read through these boards to see some have non existent sex drives which break the marriage up.

My dad certainly loved. He never really moved on from my DM's death >20 years ago.

I bloody hope DP does. I asked him and he rolled his eyes and said I am his entire world, of course he does. But then, they all do I guess.

This divergence of opinion is quite easy to explain, in my view.

Of course men fall in love, just like women.

What is also true, however, is that (some) men often don't need to be in love to seek and enjoy sex, and they are not socialised to feel badly about themselves for seeking sex.

Some women are also like this, but it's less common, for reasons of different social expectations of sexual behaviour.

So you could observe male behaviour and come to the conclusion that they don't fall in love. Or come to the conclusion that sex and love, particularly for men, are overlapping but not synonymous.

This makes sense as often women who received no love from family become far too attached and needy with a male.

Arsenaltilidie. I think you have got it just right. Men are confusing creatures to all the nice men out there

Arsenal what a fantastic post. I think the first couple of lines were spot on. As a guy, I've always been totally honest & never lead anyone on but, the best way of getting over someone, is to get under someone. My current partner, really doesn't like that but, at least said she admires my honesty. She can't articulate, that she could finish a 2 year relationship, say today & a lot of men's coping mechanism, would be no strings sex. On the love subject, I love my current partner to bits, she's as the centre of my universe, along with my children & life would be that little bit sadder without her in it. Someone made a brilliant point earlier, about guys that express it, are seen as weirdo's! It is so true. I never told her I loved her, until she'd said it to me. For me, love is (and I'd never had this before, with my ex wife) she's the first thing I think of in the morning, last thing I think of at night & she's in my thoughts most of the time between those two points.

The first thing I would do after a break up would go on the rebound too, don't think thats just men. Plus women can get it a lot easier.

I don't fear being lonely and I hate not having regular sex. Am I a man?

This question is a bit...insulting though isn't it. Surely you love and have loved enough men to know they love...

Arsenal Can I rewrite your post please so that it is accurate.

"After a relationship ends, SOME men will do everything in their power to find someone to have sex with them."

"That's why in a 'drought' SOME men will send out feelers to their old flames. These may include "you are the love of my life..i have never stopped loving you...""

As a man, I can categorically state that I have never, in a drought (and as I have been single for six years, that's a fairly decent length drought) sent feelers to any old flames. Nor, after a relationship ended, have I rushed out to find someone to have sex with. That may be the case for Naze and it may make the OP feel better, but you don't speak for me and you don't speak for all men.

Most women have a softer or more maternal side which men don't have biologically
well that's a load of shit anyway

seems like the menz have jumped into the fray after I Want's telling it like it is. Guess they don't want women to lose their blinders.

No, Amarmai, I don't dispute some men DO behave like that. I might even be prepared to accept most men behave or think like that. But I won't accept that all men do.

If men came on here making sweeping generalisations that all women were X, people would, quite rightly be calling bullshit. It works both ways.

Oh, and as most people get torn a new one for using the expression "girls" when referring to women, we don't need to use "menz" either.

Lol Amarmai

OP :Do men feel love

Some female pp: no I don't think they do

Other female PP: this is ridiculous

Men pp: of course we do!

Amarmai: well the men are hear to spout bullshit

Really, OP asked if men feel love, some men came in to give their opinions because women can't actually know as it's impossible, just like men and periods, how can a woman tell 100% if men feel certain emotions (in general). You say I wants post is right, i would say that she is biased by recently ending a seemingly horrible marriage, and her view may be skewed by the feelings she has to her exdh.

I agree with Antiques post about there being a lot of presumption "oh ... Didn't love me so he must be incapable "

How dare men come and give their experiences after a post explicitly asked about them, the utter bastards them men must be!

Well I did. Still am.

Most women have a softer or more maternal side which men don't have biologically.

How does that explain childfree by choice women. Especially as more and more women are making this choice now.

Has no-one posted this yet?

It also doesn't explain how many men are extremely tender and nurturing to their offspring. You can say "biological imperative" if you like, but that's what maternal instinct is too.

So DrSeth, have you never gone out (had a relationship with) with a woman that you knew was just for sex. You knew the relationship was going nowhere but she didn't?

Why cant you just be honest with women Morbius. Women like sex too you know.....or are you one of those men that think they shouldnt!

I think they do, but when it comes to heartbreak/dealing with relationships ending, they just deal with it in a different way. Often sleeping with others very quickly. I don't think that takes away their feelings they had to begin with. I wouldn't do it, but my male friends have.

I know a lot of women that move from one relationship straight to another- they don't seem to be able to be alone.

You have to remember to that social construct of "men" requires them to be tough and butch. Crying into a wine glass is not "manly" and would be seen as weak. Men probably feel a lot of social pressure to cover their feelings and jump back into a bachelor style life.

DrMorbius No.

I'm 42, have had two LTRs (only one of whom I lived with) and had sex with two other women (neither one night stands, but neither went beyond dating for a few weeks).

DrMorbius

You knew the relationship was going nowhere but she didn't?

That would be grossly dishonest and would only lead to the other person being hurt. Why would you do that?

I have had relationships that were only about sex, but I made sure my feelings and intentions were clear from the beginning. But then, even my primarily sexual relationships required a bedrock of trust and intimacy; Others may well do without.