Do men fall in love?

[Custardcreamssummerdreams]

Or at least in the same women do?

Just reflecting on life really now I am older.

They appear to be able to move on quicker?

That is why men can move on so quickly.....because they can't be arsed to clean and cook so need another woman to do it for them.

What utter horseshit.

Actually, what a crass thread overall. Let's keep the stereotypes flowing.

Of course Lanark is a bloke, he hounds the Feminism sections lots too, go check out his work!

But yes, most men do fall in love like most women do. Love is a human emotion.

My uncle lost his wife to CJD. He cannot be with another woman and hasn't so far nearly 7 yrs old. When it first happened he couldn't bear to go home and be around all her stuff so would go and sleep on her grave as he was so heartbroken, poor bloke.

Should say 7 years on

Fugg thats heartbreaking

Sothat and amarmi . That's an interesting take on it? I love 'the most useful invention Is the wife' bit. Any more song suggestions?

Summary of where we have got to so far; it appears yes men do fall in love but move on faster as their need for cleaning, washing and sex is greater? Joking aside that really is a good point as hadn't really thought of it like that before?

ElHirsuto I nearly started a similar thread to be honest. I know what it sounds like and I, for one, would be outraged by a thread that asked, "do all women..?" Because, without even reading that hypothetical thread, I'm pretty sure I could answer, "no".

What you wrote sounds lovely, however, I have been married, had another LTR and more short term relationships and I don't think any of them have ever felt the way you describe about me.

I really hope that one day someone will. But I kind of think it's unlikely now!

So, IME, men don't love. I think a lot of men like to be in relationships for the sex/validation/ego, but I'm not sure all of them love (not going to be so arrogant as to say none of them do).

We fall in love, but the world does not give us the same right to show vulnerability.

Obviously some generalisation, but I believe most Men can fall for in love.

The problem is I think we too often "settle" for a relationship that meets our basic needs, for sex/validation/ego/washing/cleaning.

Consequently some men are in a relationship, until something better comes along.

Drmorbius - interesting and fair enough probably some women too?

Stillawake - also interesting.

Very sorry for the negative experiences (I've had some of those!) Some women on this thread have had with selfish idiots. However is there not something just a we bit ego centric in the assumption that because the men we may have met and given our hearts to don't love us personally, that means they are incapable of loving anyone else? So x guy doesn' t love me = incapable of love?

There has been sweeping generalisations on this thread about the motives of roughly half the human race, as a mother with sons I find it sad. And there would be huge scathing sarcasm and criticism of a thread asking whether the same thing occurs for women!! The double standards are breathtaking!

Well my experience has been quite the opposite of most peoples' comments here. I have found that generally the men I have fallen in love with have had more lasting feelings than I have and have not moved on as quickly as I have. I left my h a year ago and he says he still loves me and has not been with anyone else, whereas I have had 2 relationships one of whom I fell in love with. I always move on very quickly but that is because I think I seek validation from men, have low self esteem etc. I had an experience where a man I loved broke up with me because he wasn't coping with the relationship and I very quickly started seeing somebody else, because I couldn't deal with the pain of the break up and wanted to feel better. The first guy came back to me and said he'd made a huge mistake and couldn't get over me and I immediately dumped the second one and went back to him as I was still in love with him. To anyone else this really looks like I can't have loved him but I honestly did, it was just my own issues that made me try and move on.

Oh and I wasn't cooking and cleaning for any of these men!

*I'm confused. Were you being serious when you said this:

No. All the poetry, films, music, songs, literature, psychological studies etc relating to love were all written by women*

Can nobody recognise sarcasm any more?

It was a ridiculously over the top piece of sarcasm because the question at the start of the thread is RIDICULOUS.

Trills the actual question was 'in the same way women do' - I asked the question due to the fact that most women have a softer or more maternal side which men don't have biologically which I feel makes a difference to how they are/act?

OP, what started out with you asking a really silly question (because in itself it implies that all women must love in the same way to begin with - which clearly they don't) is now turning into spouting generalised sexist twaddle.

Have a good Friday.

I asked the question due to the fact that most women have a softer or more maternal side which men don't have biologically

I stand by my assertion of RIDICULOUS and deserving of mocking.

Men are conditioned socially to not wallow in sadness or grief.
That doesn't mean they don't feel them.
I've seen men "move on" quickly but very often they're not actually over the person they loved. They just pretend they are.

There are some really thoughtful replies on this thread.

Trills is right in her analysis of Lanark's reply.

I'm a bit And About initial premise of thread. Genuinely. I'm guessing OP has had something a bit grim happen.

But there are some really thoughtful responses.

What a ridiculous question
I've read some shite on here but this takes the

Trills

It makes sense as sarcasm if you know that Lanark is male, which I didn't when I wrote the post.

given some of the 'interesting' posts on MN recently I thought it best to check...

OP really you need to meet some better men. My DH doesn't have a 'softer maternal side' but ge definitely has a softer paternal side.

And he loves me for more than my cooking.

One of the greatest fear for women is being lonely.
One of the greatest fear for men is not having someone to have sex with.

After a relationship ends, men will do everything in their power to find someone to have sex with them.
To the outsider it may look like they're moving on quickly, but to most men its just creating an a option for sex.
That's why in a 'drought' men will send out feelers to their old flames. These may include "you are the love of my life..i have never stopped loving you..." Do people seriously believe these things?

The problem is what men SAY when they are in love can be the same with what they say when not in love.

As for actually falling in love, when it does happen we fall deep and it is scary.

My guy feels true love, I value myself and would prefer to be single or carry on looking if he just felt lust for me. In fact for various medical reasons I am unable to give him a s**, normal sex, and he doesnt care, he would rather be with me without it than be with someone else. We spend a lot of time together doing our hobbies, he buys me flowers, he holds my hand, he tells me he loves me, he is almost perfect.