DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

Hi folks, beautiful sunny day here, but we're all still full of bugs... what is it with finally getting some nice weather and the mother of all snotty cold bugs arriving?!

HowBad you are sounding super-positive, great to hear

Boodles, Vxa, Lily You're all doing really great, sounding strong and in control. Vxa you are doing the very best thing possible for your health, so please don't be afraid . You've pressed the emergency stop button and jumped off the runaway train; all you need to is to find your new route.

Hi donja, lucy, Hurricane, glad, Absolute - hope you are all feeling good today.

MissCookie how are you doing?

SoI had another sober first last week - we held a large event at work that was months in the planning; involved public speaking, nights in a hotel, dinners out, wining, dining, and even a trip to a champagne bar. And do you know what, it wasn't just OK, it was AWESOME!

I was so surprised to see that - in every place we visited apart from the most bog standard - there was an actual proper selection of interesting non-alcoholic drinks. I had fabulous drinks everywhere, and didn't feel even the tiniest sense of 'missing out'. It just wasn't there! I enjoyed good food, drink, company, sleep, and a fresh head in the morning, and just as well.

And when I finally got home afterwards, I was shattered, knackered, exhausted! But I still didn't fancy an alcoholic drink (and now I know part of that was this bug, so that's why I was even more wiped out than normal).

So... That was all great. I've had a few low days this week since, but feel like I'm picking up again now. Just the wonderful ups and downs of normal life! But it has been so important to have those strategies for dealing with the lows - meditation, exercise (just walking) & fresh air, time out...

So, talking of work, better get back to it!

Day 346

Have a good one all

Hey everyone,

flossie matron are you there? Come back guys!

Hope everyone is well. Good sunny day here also. Spending some time planting window boxes with gorgeous crimson geraniums.

Have a good one everyone. :)

Hi slim I love geraniums - they make me feel I'm abroad somewhere hot and sunny . Been a grand day.

I love them too Fuzzy. My beloved paternal grandmother adored them and I always think of her when I see geraniums or plant them.... She was an amazing woman. Strong, compassionate, brilliant wife, mother and grandmother. Miss her very much.

I am feeling quite content today. Settled in my soul. :)

Hope everyone is okay. Thinking of everyone.

My DP is home - late and he is pissed , and really annoying me . I want to go to bed ... But he is banging on , over and over again .... God I must have been at least as boring as this ...

So I have retreated to bed and he can sleep on the fucking sofa. All he does is bang on and on and on about how much he dislikes DS1 and how bad he is and on and on and on he goes .

Drunk stupid ignorant cunt

God I want a drink. Will try headspace instead ....

How are you lily ? Sounds like you had a hard time last night.

Hi everyone!

I'd like to join please

I joined dry 10 but then lapsed and didn't want to come back as I felt like a failure

Since then things have changed for me. I realised properly just how much of my life alcohol was ruining. Big argument with DP about all past arguments that had been fuelled by alcohol etc.

Anyway, I had a week off over Easter while DCs at their dad's so I decided to use it to figure this all out.

I looked at blogs that had been recommended on dry 10 and stumbled on one that recommended reading Jason vale's book.

That book has changed my life.

Having been drinking everyday, a bottle of wine most days and more at weekends/when out and living like that with only a handful of forced dry days in the last 5 years, trying and failing to cut down periodically, I'm now on day 19 of nothing and the main thing - it hasn't been difficult. At all. And I really don't miss it.

If anyone who is struggling hasn't encountered the book yet, I would highly recommend it.

'Kick the drink... Easily' by Jason Vale.

Also a second book I read straight after is called 'alcohol lied to me' by Craig Breck.

For me, both books changed my mind about alcohol completely. Best thing I ever did was reading them. And then kindle offers loads more suggestions which I will keep reading, as I enjoy feeling like part of a new wave of soberiatas who enjoy being free of it, rather than feeling like a social outcast because I chose not to take this drug

Welcome oncemore

Welcome oncemore😊 day 9AF for me, and this time my mindset is completely different, I achieved 6 months a couple of years ago. Have read Allen carr over the weekend, similar to Jason vale, and I feel now very calm, in control and thoughtful. I am at the moment tired but it is early days, good to have you here, I am a newbie and have received such a lovely welcome. going to get Jason vale for some more reading x

lily how are you today? Is DP DS's dad? Why does he dislike him? How old is DS, could he have heard any of that? Totally totally bang out of order of DP. Areyou okay today? Any apologies forthcoming from DP?

Welcome OnceMore. Good to have you with us.

How is everyone? Okay here. I have bad mouth ulcers for some reason. Very painful to swallow. Taking loads of vitamins generally in my life, so not sure why.

KOKO Sober Warriors.

Yes I enjoyed Jason Vale's book, it's quite in your face and I don't agree with him 100pc on everything. For instance he says you shouldn't drink AF beer or wine, whereas I quite like them. But he is good at making you feel you're a winner, and one of the lucky ones, for not drinking - instead of a loser.

Morning all
How are you lily? Sorry you had a hard time last night
Hello slim have you been eating mints? Sometimes sugar free mints give me little ulcers on my tongue
Welcome once more I'm new ish too, day 23 for me today. I think I'll try that book, thanks ☺
Hello everyone else 🙋
I'm feeling strong and in control of my life at the moment. Been busy doing things and more active so I'm quite tired but it's a nice tired not a I can't lift my head from the pillow as I drank two bottles of wine last night kind of way!! I'm hoping I don't burn out So I'm keeping an eye on myself and trying to get enough sleep.
I am having some concerns about one of my children, ASD related so feel a little confuddled by that and slightly overwhelmed but taking my time to think and process my thoughts before jumping to any conclusions.
All in all positive here and the cravings have become alot less frequent, feels like the best decision I've ever made.

I have ordered the book. I am finding that I need to immerse myself in as much stuff about not drinking as I can.

Day 21 for me today. I don't really have cravings but just an overwhelming urge to block everything out. I feel like it would help just to be asleep for 6 months. It's terrible to admit and please don't judge me too much but the thought of trying something else keeps popping into my head. I have got some over the counter sleeping pills so I have been using those for the past few days to ensure that I sleep.

I have been taking Sertraline for a couple of months and I thought the reason it was not working was because the alcohol was stopping it. I thought that might have improved by now.

Has anyone else felt like this ? I feel like I am making such a big deal out of all of this.

Boodles I had loads of mints on Saturday, maybe that is it!!

Also- my DS had ASD diagnosis last year(he is 6), so pls feel free to PM me if you wish. (Or ask me things on the thread directly, I am happy either way!) I was all over the place emotionally initially....distraught mainly, worried, sad.... have learned loads lately and things are going along quite well right now.

vxa I would keep on keeping on with the no-alcohol thing. IMO 21 days is still so early, so you may not be feeling the benefits of sertraline yet now it is NOT being counteracted by alcohol. I am on citaloprom and if i recall it took a solid month or so before I felt a difference. I also have to say that since 2013 when I joined the thread I have loads of slips, and it sets me right back emotionally. I'd let yourself have a really good run at being AF..... say 3 months and review the affects on your mood while using sertraline after that, but I am no doctor. Maybe keep a mood diary also so you can look back?

Thanks slim I am certainly going to keep going with the not drinking. I know I can't drink. I think it is just disheartening because I expected to feel so much better than I do.

I have an appt with a nurse from the drugs and alcohol service this afternoon (my first) so hopefully that will give me some direction.

Hi everyone, de-lurking again!

Had my first 'drinking dream' last night and woke up in a cold sweat. Dreamt my mum had poured me a large glass of wine and I said 'ooh, I haven't had one of these since Christmas!', had a mouthful and then went 'oh no!' horrified! Very strange. To be honest the whole dream was very weird but I didn't get freaked out by the swarm of 2 legged cats, for some reason, just the wine!

vxa I found the first couple of weeks really hard because I expected to feel so much better, and I didn't for a long while. I guess your body just has to adjust to the new status quo and it's going to take some time. I had spent the best part of 20 years drinking heavily so it's going to take longer than a few days for things to get to anything approaching 'normal'!

Also I was thinking about you the other day- I had to go to the docs for a routine blood test and the nurse decided to do a general health screen. She asked me how many units of alcohol I drank. I didn't know what to say! So I mumbled something about, well I haven't had anything since New Year. To which she replied 'I'll put none then'. I felt like a kid who'd been given a sticker! I am officially a non-drinker! She was so matter of fact about it. I think it's a big deal for us, and so we think it is for everyone else too, but it really isn't.

beginner I am at about the same stage as you and I think the novelty has definitely worn off a bit. I am trying lots of new soft drinks and trying to mix it up by doing things I couldn't have when drinking. I've been taking the family out star gazing, I could never have done that before as I would have resented using valuable drinking time. Maybe try something along those lines? I also need to write down my list of reasons not to drink so I can read them in the future. They are hard to think about so I've been putting it off.

Anyway got to go and pick DS up from cricket, and avoid the news about Victoria Wood because it's making me sad. I shall play some happy music in the car instead for a sunny day.

KOKO everyone!

I'm still here. Welcome all new people.

I'm not drinking - and not even close but I am struggling with how angry I am with DP.

DS1 is not his child. He is 17 and not doing well. He is at college because he failed almost all his GCSE's , but not studying this time either. He lives is squalor in his rom and WILL NOT tidy up even with offers of help, he has a bunch of horrible dirty chavvy 'friends' , contributes nothing to the house. He has aspergers which is part but not all of the problem. He is also dishonest in terms of theft and telling lies.

I understand why DP struggles with him, but I am so so sick of him being hostile critical and witheringly nasty. That boy is MY SON . He is not yet 18 and it is my role to try and help him rather than endlessly criticise.

Shit shit day. Exhausted. Think my relationship is over or almost over. Tired and miserable . Sorry nothing to give today except hugs and

I've no words of advice for you Lily but didn't want to read and run.

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!

For those not feeling great after stopping, are you getting enough nutrition? I used to have wine for dinner so did make sure to take nutritional supplements during the last few weeks as I was permanently exhausted while I was drinking, and have carried on with them, and think that's helping to not feel rubbish. We are all slaves to our internal chemistry, after all!

I take multi vits plus extra omega 3, magnesium and B vit complex as all of these are depleted through drinking.

I'm eating like a horse nowadays though! Anyone else doing that? I lost my belly in the first week or so from not drinking but think I'll be gaining it back and then some if I carry on like this!!

lily I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Have you got any support ? It sounds as if you have a huge among on your plate. Are you able to have some "you" time just to catch your breath ? You are doing brilliantly.

Has anyone had any experience of Acamprosate or Nalmefene ? My alcohol counsellor has suggested one or the other might be helpful so I am going to discuss with my GP. My understanding is that Acamprosate is to minimise cravings whereas Nalmefene is to reduce drinking, although indies that by reducing the urge to drink so it kind of does the same thing.

At the moment I am thinking that Acamprosate might be better as you take it every day whereas you take Nalmefene when you are at risk of drinking. I think that m

Sorry posted too fast there !

I think Nalmefene might not be a good idea because it would make drinking feel like a possibility which I don't want. I know that abstinence is what I need to achieve and maintain.

Any thoughts ?

fuzzy I'm good thank you - just very wobbly at the moment.
Your night sounds great - I wish everywhere offered good drinks.I'm bored of going to places that just offer cranberry juice or Pepsi - Yuk!

lily Bizarre seeing a loved one drunk isn't it - especially when your usually drunk yourself so you don't notice..

onemoreintothebleach thanks for the recommendations - I'll def give them a read. I read 'Easy Way" by Allen Carr - which was a life changer for me. Definitely took away a lot of cravings.

Flying in to say hi & welcome oncemore

Lily it's so tough, sympathies (and bloody well done on staying dry through it all ).

Oops missed a load of posts - no idea vxa I'm afraid, but your reasoning sounds good...

Hi MissCookie - how are you coping with the lows now? I'm presuming like me you used to numb/blur it all with alcohol!

For me I have many different strategies - but sometimes when it comes down to it, and I can't even get myself to do 10 mins meditation for example, it's just a case of taking myself off and curling up under the duvet for a while. and to you and any others struggling.